Batya33 Posted June 5, 2007 Share Posted June 5, 2007 What if the thought of having sex with them made you want to vomit? Would you still overlook how they looked and continue seeing them anyway? This question goes out to everyone who denies the importance of looks in dating relationships. But that doesn't necesarily have to do with looks. I need physical/s_xual attraction to be in a romantic relationship. I have met conventionally gorgeous, model-type guys and felt none and met guys others would think were ugly/nerdy and felt a very strong spark. Of course looks matter to an extent - I likely would not be attracted to a man with severe facial deformities but I also wouldn't be attracted to someone who looked like a model but had a vacant look in his eyes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony426 Posted June 5, 2007 Share Posted June 5, 2007 So an "ugly" guy can attract a hot girl? You have given me hope! lol But I'm really happy for this guy. He seems like a good catch and it's great that you took the time to get to know him, even though you weren't 100% attracted to him at first. Kudos! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted June 5, 2007 Share Posted June 5, 2007 Some people judge attraction by how the person will look on his/her arm, others judge it by how they feel around the person and for others there's a middle ground. I would not want to be with someone around friends or family whose appearance was offensive - that is, very sloppily dressed where it was inappropriate, bad grooming, etc - yes, it matters to me because I care to an extent about what people think. But if they thought his nose was too large, or he had unattractive features or wasn't in shape I wouldn't care a bit. I would care if they found him boorish or inarticulate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovehurtz Posted June 5, 2007 Share Posted June 5, 2007 Hey. totally. The first "not so fortunate looking" boy I dated...I was hesitant at first to date him, but when I did, I found out that he was a great guy and I fell from him, and he became more and more attractive! However, then...he became an idiot, and abusive..but thats another story. haha. For YOU, its ur time girl. Go for it. Dont let this oppurtunity go by. From that relationship....I now...usually only go for dorky boys [: haha! WEIRDD. haha, i get a lot of crap from my friends about that but whatevvv... g'luck in ur decision. make the right one [: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted June 5, 2007 Share Posted June 5, 2007 I wasn't attracted to my ex at all when he first started showing signs of interest. I knew him, we were friends, but I didn't think he was cute at all. Certainly not someone that I would normally date, however he just kinda grew on me over time. So of course he bacame super sexy in my eyes. Too bad he was also a * * * * * * *!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimmie11479 Posted June 5, 2007 Share Posted June 5, 2007 Yes, and if you fall for him he will be the most handsome man in your eyes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bx93ep Posted June 5, 2007 Share Posted June 5, 2007 My boyfriend is right for me in every way. He's brilliant, funny, romantic, kind etc., but he's definitely not a supermodel. I'd probably put him at neutral on an attractiveness scale, and while I have dated "better looking" guys, no one has ever made me feel as good as he does. Our personalities mesh like nothing I've ever experienced. He dresses well and has great personal hygiene too! I know a lot of people like to go into the "biological urges" and all that stuff, but in the end, is a pretty face really going to make you happy for the long-term? That said, I wouldn't date someone who I thought was ugly. Him being attractive to my friends is just not on my list of priorities. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leonhart Posted June 5, 2007 Share Posted June 5, 2007 You don't have to have sex with them; you don't need to date them. Why can't you just develop a good friendship with them? You never know where that friendship may lead. I completely disagree with that. It makes no sense. Sounds like you're opening up the door to friendzone-land. I've never once wanted to date one of my friends. Never. But to each their own, right? But that doesn't necesarily have to do with looks. I need physical/s_xual attraction to be in a romantic relationship. I have met conventionally gorgeous, model-type guys and felt none and met guys others would think were ugly/nerdy and felt a very strong spark. Of course looks matter to an extent - I likely would not be attracted to a man with severe facial deformities but I also wouldn't be attracted to someone who looked like a model but had a vacant look in his eyes. I think this is the difference between men and women. Women can have attraction created through an emotional bond, whereas men almost always need a physical bond through appearances. But even you said looks matter to some extent, meaning if you're not feelin' it, you're not feelin' it. No amount of nerdiness, charm, confidence or what-have-you will change that... or would it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted June 6, 2007 Share Posted June 6, 2007 I completely disagree with that. It makes no sense. Sounds like you're opening up the door to friendzone-land. I've never once wanted to date one of my friends. Never. But to each their own, right? I think this is the difference between men and women. Women can have attraction created through an emotional bond, whereas men almost always need a physical bond through appearances. But even you said looks matter to some extent, meaning if you're not feelin' it, you're not feelin' it. No amount of nerdiness, charm, confidence or what-have-you will change that... or would it? No that's not what I meant at all. I meant that there is a difference between physical attraction and whether a person is attractive looking by conventional standards. I was attracted to a man who is short, balding, overweight and wore glasses. Definitely not attractive by conventional standards but we had physical chemistry. Looks matter but not to the extent that the man has to be a certain height, or have a certain body type, or be attractive by anyone's standards. I simply need to feel attracted to him - that is based on a whole mish mash of things including eye contact, presense/confidence/how he carries himself/his smile/his sparkle, etc - often i cannot separate the "physical" as in features from how he sparkles (or otherwise). And, just because I think someone is attractive looking doesn't mean I want to have any sexual contact with that person. I cannot imagine being tempted just based on what a man looked like. When I was a teenager that would have been a possibility - I was boy-crazy and very focused on looks - which seemed to be the norm among my friends at that time. But that was more about looks as in having arm candy than about true attraction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leonhart Posted June 6, 2007 Share Posted June 6, 2007 And, just because I think someone is attractive looking doesn't mean I want to have any sexual contact with that person. I cannot imagine being tempted just based on what a man looked like. When I was a teenager that would have been a possibility - I was boy-crazy and very focused on looks - which seemed to be the norm among my friends at that time. But that was more about looks as in having arm candy than about true attraction. Which is why I said this is the clear distinction between men and women. A lot more men will be ready to jump in the sack with a hot babe than would a woman with a hot stud, as a rule. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted June 6, 2007 Share Posted June 6, 2007 Which is why I said this is the clear distinction between men and women. A lot more men will be ready to jump in the sack with a hot babe than would a woman with a hot stud, as a rule. Perhaps although not based on my actual experience with people (as opposed to the "polls" in magazines). and not my bf, certainly. I completely agree that looks matter to an extent but not in the way you wrote. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted June 6, 2007 Share Posted June 6, 2007 i know a lot of women that would jump in the sack if the guy was hot. probably outweighing men. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yates33 Posted June 6, 2007 Share Posted June 6, 2007 It's simple and it proves everything male dating gurus say about women. You say you are not attracted to him...BUT YOU ARE. Attraction is not a choice. He stirs up your emotions the right way. This will never happen with a guy, if he doesnt find the girl good looking, forget it. This is because women are more emotion drawn and men are more logic drawn. Who cares, you obviously like him and he sounds like a great guy, go for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cpc28655 Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 I imagine that this happens alot in cases where someone is not interested in the person that they are dating, but has some kind of ulterior motive. Hence the phrase, "screw their way to the top." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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