kekep Posted May 15, 2007 Share Posted May 15, 2007 Ok, so this question is probably going to raise a lot of hell on this board, but is having sex with your ex really so bad?? I've moved on to the point where I'm dating other people, but I don't want a relationship with anyone right now. I'm just having fun being single. The opportunity presented itself last night when he called and we talked on the phone for 2 hours...basically it led into us having phone sex. I figured...why not just do the deed? So we discussed it and agreed we can meet on Wednesday and have some fun together. We're both consenting adults, and although there are still some feelings there, I am not hopeful for a relationship with this guy.... Is this behavior unhealthy and awful?? Is something wrong with me here that I feel I can do this without getting my emotions caught up in the mix?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bear12 Posted May 15, 2007 Share Posted May 15, 2007 yes, seriously, unhealthy and awful. i've done it all too. i thought i was okay with it but in the long run it just kept me hanging on and kept me more emotionally attached than i should have been. also, the day when he says to you, "i'm sorry, but i just don't feel comfortable doing this anymore; i've started seeing someone else." is a really, really awful one. i'd rather just not know... but, of course, everyone is different and you're allowed to do whatever you want! but for me, it was a very, very bad long term decision (even if it was nice in the short term!! ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
needopinions Posted May 15, 2007 Share Posted May 15, 2007 yes, seriously, unhealthy and awful. i've done it all too. i thought i was okay with it but in the long run it just kept me hanging on and kept me more emotionally attached than i should have been. also, the day when he says to you, "i'm sorry, but i just don't feel comfortable doing this anymore; i've started seeing someone else." is a really, really awful one. i'd rather just not know... but, of course, everyone is different and you're allowed to do whatever you want! but for me, it was a very, very bad long term decision (even if it was nice in the short term!! ) i completely agree with this and will add that i did the same thing...and have a 4 year old son to show for it. love him more than anything in this world...hate his father...but that's a whole other topic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karvala Posted May 15, 2007 Share Posted May 15, 2007 Is this behavior unhealthy and awful?? Is something wrong with me here that I feel I can do this without getting my emotions caught up in the mix?? Not something wrong with you, but possibly a degree of self-deception going on. If you can *really* have sex with your ex without *any* resurgence of feelings and desire to get back with him, guaranteed, then go for it. But it's a very difficult thing to do; you think you can do it at first, but those old feelings creep up on you, and before you know it, you're back in the post-breakup mire again. Maybe you're one of the people that can do it, maybe you really are in that place, but don't think the fact that you think you're there convince you that you really are; many people think that, and find out the hard way that in fact they're not. It's up to you if you want to take the risk, but don't go into it thinking that there isn't one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mca1975 Posted May 15, 2007 Share Posted May 15, 2007 hi, i could never do this. it would hurt me (and my ex) too much. but then again im the sort of person who cannot separate sex from emotions for someone. be very careful about this. if you have some feelings there, then this sounds dangerous for you and its true, what if he turns around and says he doesnt want to to it anymore, you woudl be devastated! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomtommyboy Posted May 15, 2007 Share Posted May 15, 2007 Who dumped who? This seems pretty important. There's an element of not wanting to be used here...and if there isn't there should be! I cannot in a million years even contemplate kissing my ex let alone having sex with her without a gazillion feelings flooding back. So for me it would be a bad idea... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kekep Posted May 15, 2007 Author Share Posted May 15, 2007 I broke up with him, but it was after I realized his heart wasn't in it anymore. We have hooked up since the breakup a few times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hockeyboy Posted May 15, 2007 Share Posted May 15, 2007 hey there...you need to delete some of your pm's. apparently your inbox is full and I cant respond to your last PM. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kekep Posted May 15, 2007 Author Share Posted May 15, 2007 i just did it...sorry about that!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeaBisquit Posted May 15, 2007 Share Posted May 15, 2007 i had sex with my ex two weeks after we broke up. i realized that he just got off, left and went back to his girlfriend. my advice don't do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Me and myself Posted May 15, 2007 Share Posted May 15, 2007 I only had sex with an ex twice (same girl)...I proposed her that and she accepted...but I noticed she was still in love with me and I started to feel like crap...so I've ended it...saw her one year after with her husband (she was divorced) and their son. This was a really happy ending (altough I had the feeling she was still thinking about me ) Now, talking about my last ex, I told her we could be friends with benefits, I never used any of those benefits and, 3 days later, I told her to forget it 'cause that would make me feel bad and used. M&M Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Buttabean Jellayroll Posted May 15, 2007 Share Posted May 15, 2007 i dont know what it is but i wouldnt come into contact with any ex of mine, i wouldnt even shake hands with one of them.........but i think its fine if ya'll feeling like it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
auburnslp Posted May 15, 2007 Share Posted May 15, 2007 Well, in my mind it comes down to this...since there are still feelings there-you said it-it really depends on whether you want to move on or not. Do this thing, and you will completely delay your ability to move on and completely heal. If you think there is a chance you can work things out, then it is probably ok...I think many of us one here have done this, some of us many times. It's really a very personal decision, an important one too...you need to really sit back and consider the possible outcomes of it...good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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