kalikat

Hi all - this might get a little long so please forgive me. Just want to give the whole picture... My daughter is 33 and I am 60. She is happily married with a beautiful little girl (2 1/2). Back in February, I had purchased very expensive tix for her & her husband to see one of their favorite comedians. About a month before the show, she contacted me to say that would no longer be able to attend because hubby had been called to a business trip in China. I suggested that she and I use the tickets and get a babysitter for the baby. And she agreed. It would give us some time to bond since her job has been very demanding this past year as well. 3 Days before the show, She texts me to say that she can't go with me to the show. I tell her to sell the tix on stubhub so that the $$ wouldn't all be a loss (almost $400!). I was disappointed because I had really been looking forward to spending some time with her. But it is what it is. I texted her back & asked if we could make arrangements to spend Mothers day together(which was a couple of weeks away). She tells me that she actually was going to a wedding on Mothers day, and that she was going to be stressed because her husband would still not be back from his business trip by then, and she was working & dealing with the baby on her own, and then asked me if we could maybe get together sometime in June instead. Okay - so I stayed out of her way (didn't want to add to her stress). Meanwhile, I had shoulder surgery (which she knew about). Plus a few other things happening. She didn't contact me on Mothers Day. She has not even texted me to find out how my surgery went. I have reached out to her a couple of times but she has not responded. A couple of days ago, my sis calls to tell me that she talked to my daughter, who informed her that "she was taking a break from her mom" (me). I am at an absolute loss for words. I have no idea why she feels that she needs a break from me. I don't know what to think or what to do. The only thing I know at the moment is that I am so unbearably sad. I have done nothing to deserve this from her. Tomorrow I will reach out yet again to see if she will tell me why this is happening. will keep you posted. Thanks for letting me vent...

My father was just a month away from 75 when he passed away. And it was sudden - out of nowhere. I'm writing to you all here hopefully to help you get through this. Dad was also my best friend. he was the only one in the family that understood my quirkiness. The only one I could talk to as my marriage self- imploded. He supported my creativity - let me be my true self. We spoke on the phone about 3pm that day. I went to his house at 7pm and found him on his bathroom floor. Lots of other details, but bottom line - he was gone. Two weeks before, we had lost my mom's sister. Two weeks after, Mom had a massive stroke. Which she never quite recovered from. Everywhere I looked, everything was coming unhinged. Got a divorce. Lost my job. In that same year, we had 11 other people pass away in our family. I went into deep depression mode. What I call 'the black hole". barely functioning. Bathed maybe once a week. Ate peanut butter on bread - cuz it was easy & didn't require me to think. i am telling you all of this because Dad died almost 19 years ago. And as awful as everything seemed (and was), I am still here. It may not get any easier. And I Still miss him like it was just yesterday that he left us. BUT - Eventually you begin to sense them around you. The good memories together make you smile instead of cry. You learn to live your life for the living - your kids, your family. The pain never quite goes away. But it turns into something you can handle. The ache in your heart keeps him with you. Always. Embrace it. Not a day passes still that I don't think of my dad. Mostly with smiles. Sometimes with tears. But always, always with love...

Sunny So Cal - 70 today

awesome photo, Happy!

west coast

west coast

clouds above the bay

This will be the first of many - feel free to post any of your own

just a thought - leave the portrait black & white - add a teeny bit of red to the wound, or just some red droplets for blood. that might give it that edge your looking for.

awesome stuff! did you study? or are you blessed with natural talent?