Seraph

I think the potential for something is there. The only time when I've acted like that was when I was interested. So, I think he might be. But regardless, if you feel that way towards him: try it.

It's great that you think of your friends so much. If you two start going out, just make it clear to your friends that friendship is forever. Maybe devote some time just to your friends.

I hope everything works out soon!

Well done, man. I bet hitting that metal did feel good, yeah! You're showing alot of maturity here. Things are looking up for you! Good job.

Here's to the future, cheers!

WOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOO!!

Yeah, man! That's definitely something cool and something to feel good about. Now that she knows, she'll be thinking about you more and more. The pact is toast. You know it. I know it. She knows it.

But yeah, I like how you're keeping things cool and slow. That's the way. Awesome! Great to hear! Congrats!

I've never heard of that before, but it seems to make sense... At least to me I see more respect in using a name over a pronoun. But does he do that with every name?

What do you want from me?

Makes me feel cheap as hell.

Best I have: Take some time away from him. Let him feel insecure for once. You let him be so secure with your calls and your tears. But if you just take a week away from him. I know you say you can't.. but.. try? please? He'll snap to his senses if he realizes that you aren't calling everyday all of a sudden.

i really hope things work out.

I hear ya, man. I was in a very similar situation a few weeks ago. I was helpful. But being helpful as a friend ... or being helpful as more? eh. well.

Anyways, I think your intentions are clear to you. You want what's best for her because you care about her more than anything. And I know that deep down you would rather see her out having a good time than sitting at home being miserable or what not.

Breaking up is hard. But you care about her, so you should be there for her as a friend. Maybe she'll realize how much you really do care and snap to her senses, who knows. Be very happy and proud that you got her through a tough period in her life.

I'm not sure if I know what I'm talking about, but I hope this helps.

woah definitely. These lyrics remind me of when I was down in the gutter...walking in the rain thinking about her during lunch.

It's slightly different, but "Mala Gente" by Juanes is a great song for helping out after being dumped...it cheered me up alot.

I'd go to the party. But instead of expecting something to happen, assume that nothing will. You won't be let down if you expect nothing.

Try to treat her and think of her as a friend only. Unless you hate her now, I'd still try to be on good terms with her.

any other opinions?

wow, man. Some powerful lyrics there. I especially like the chorus part in bold. The ending too.. as if you're really fading. I like it alot!

Writing is perfect for expressing feelings.

Thanks for sharing!

You're being extremely generous here. The thing that concerns me is "I'll call you when I wake up"... I dunno seems to me like you went through alot of effort to arrange this, and it seems he's taking it lightly.

In that sense, I would be (a bit) ticked off. 8)

I hope things work out for the concert!

Umm. definitely what Jessie said, school's coming back in session soon, so that's a good choice. Doctors have to keep that confidentiality barrier, so maybe confiding in him/her might help.

Otherwise, check out google- it has some great starting points.

I searched "anger management" and one good link I got was:

link removed

Hope it helps.

well whatever. If anything it's an icebreaker. (eh?) You didnt even know your friend did that, you didnt even ask him to! So, I'd just be honest with the girl and see what happens. I don't think it hurts anything. Gives her something to smile about at the very least.

Hah wow. I don't know about you, but none of my friends say "no please dont go" to me.

To keep my opinion short and sweet...I'd say take things as they come. Since she broke up with you, I'd expect her to be the one to initiate something again. Just don't give her the cold shoulder stuff, and you're set.

I think she does want you back though.

anyone else?

lol that's quite quite sly. and I like the emoticons. heh

Well. If I were you I'd say something like "you know what's funny.. I've here looking at this jewelry but I've really been admiring your <..> behind these lenses.. it's just something about your <...>."

and then you know what to do.

eh? Anyone else? I dunno.

Good luck!

Actually, wow. I just waded through that and every word of it makes sense. And it is nicely organized! You made things very clear for me with phrases like --this is unattractive--.

You're helping me get over my ex. I haven't quite accepted that it's 100% over, yet... I'm still clinging on to the hope that we'll be back once school starts. But having my hopes up like that only sets me up for a fall. I have to move on.

Thanks a bunch!

Right. As these guys have said... Be extremely careful.

I think especially at your current state, try not to get way too emotionally involved with someone. Looks like you're having fun though. Don't put your heart into the guy until some time has passed and you're a bit more sure about yourself and where the relationship is headed. Well... that's my opinion anyways.

And, yeah, what's wrong with goin' out and seeing what others have to offer you?

I hope things work out!

I concur with these fellas.

It doesn't seem like you're desperate, but even if you are, don't let that leak through...sounding/acting desperate is scccaaarrrryyyy.

So, be friendly, be nice, be supportive. Keep the questions away from the relationship area. I bet she'll bring it up, though. When she does, make sure you keep your "aire of independence" about you... meaning make sure you act like everything has been a-okay in your life since she left. (which is probably true)

Nothing to get nervous about. Just think of it as two friends gettin' together to say "what's up." If you keep the expectations down, you won't get disappointed if something doesn't (or does!) happen as you expected.

Have fun!

Well, the fact that you're here in the first place shows that you put thought into your actions. That's pretty much the definition of maturity right there.

Being shy isn't a trait that brands you as mature or immature. I'm desperately shy myself, yet I think of myself as mature.

Don't worry about what she said.

Wow, Hopeful. There's tons of logic in what you're saying. Nevermind that apology post of mine.. hah. I'm a tad too idealistic.

It just got dumped a few weeks ago. First thing I did was stop talking to her for a little bit, during which time I scoped the internet for places like enotalone for help and advice. Everyone told me not to act sad and depressed. So I'm being happy now. So your advice about not acting desperate is definitely true.

Sometimes it's just hard to do that though. But I realize that you just have to force yourself to.

Argh!

I think the phone and face-to-face situations are two totally different arenas. I bet she'll open up when you see her on your date. She might be shy, or maybe just extremely modest. Maybe try goading her to tell you more about herself.

Might just be as simple as "read any great books lately?"

eh?

Have fun on your date!

Goodness. Yeah, well it's good that you understand what a big deal checking her mail actually was. Call me crazy, but I think there still is something possible here. The fact that she's still mad at you shows that there's still an emotion between you two, even if it's anger.

So do you leave her alone or what...that's what you're asking.

Is she totally anti-you right now? It's been 5 months! If I was in your shoes, I would sit her down (if possible), look her in the eyes and explain how you and her have both been adversely affected by a mistake 5 months ago. You regret it, you've regreted it with every breath you've drawn since that day. You know that what you've done not only violated her space, but even worse, it made her feel uncomfortable.

I hope that if she realizes that you sincerely respect her feelings, she'll forgive you.

But should you just ignore her for a little bit? I have no idea. Anyone else?

Maybe this should be a new thread but: Smalltowngirl: How exactly does someone become more of a badboy?

iNNoVaSioN: I find myself in the same place and I totally understand. It seems like that "nice guys finish last" phrase is true, buuuuuut.. I then read Colin Mortensen's book. It wasn't as good as I expected it to be, but it still offered a few interesting insights. I don't know if i'm remembering correctly, so don't quote me on this, but I think part of what he wrote suggested that you don't have to be a "bad guy," but pretend to be aloof, uninterested at first, but as the relationship gets serious, throw it out and start being the good guy again. I guess it goes along with the whole idea that some people like a "chase" or like to be kept on their toes...

I don't know. His site is @ link removed if it helps. Some interesting ideas in there.

But I definitely agree. I just get insanely mad when I see girls (or guys for that matter) act totally inappropriately and then talk as if they are the victims of a relationship gone horribly wrong.

Any other ideas?

Ah. First off, I'd say forget about that girl. TONS of things change in one month. And he said he likes you the most...feel special!

I think one of the hardest parts is over, now that you two know you like eachother. You want to know how much he likes you? Well that's sorta confusing for me. I think that the more time you spend with the person, and the more you get to know him, the more you'll like him (or the other way around).

Basically, calm down, chill out a bit. Spend some time together and let him find the "real you." Meanwhile, try to find the "real him." Don't worry so much though, try to take things slow and steadily.

Maybe? Anyone else?

Hey there haze,

Another way of looking at it is that he might just really be busy. But either way, I think it's best if you moved on and but some space between you two for a bit. Maybe a week, and check in and see if he says "not this week either"... You'll start to feel less emotionally attached to him. The distance will force him to do something (if he wants). I think it'll be good for everyone. If there's no future, you both walk away. If there is, there will be in due time.

Does that make any sense at all? It's late where I live... sorry if this isn't coherant. I'll reply again if not.

hope this helps.