Those of you that know my story, know that after the break-up of my relationship I did everything that everybody else usually does.
Firstly I pleaded with my ex to take me back, told her I loved her etc.
Then she met someone else, so I cut off contact…..she kept emailing though.
I then asked her if she was 100% positive that this is what she wanted? She said "Yes"
She was playing games BIG time. She'd tell me that she missed talking to me, that she loved me with all of her heart (as a friend lol) and that I was a great guy/boyfriend…..but that she didn't want to be with me.
The breaking point came last week when she said (and I quote). "I know that you're hurting really badly at the moment, but I know that you'll meet someone that is going to treat you like you deserve to be treated"
Well, needless to say I saw RED. Here I was receiving pity from this woman!! I just could not believe how little respect she has for me – firstly to play the "Push away, pull close, push away again" game….and then to give me pity because she thinks that I am having trouble moving on. Especially when my inability to move on is directly related to her mixed signals (ie Actions vs Words).
So, my friends, I have done something that has shocked the hell out of her…I stopped arguing, stopped telling her how I thought we were meant to be and I did something extremely radical…..I agreed with her!
I emailed her that after having some time to think, I had decided that breaking up was indeed the right thing to do. I told her that we were better friends than lovers (something that she has said) and that the spark had gone towards the end of the relationship (another thing that she said).
I went on to say that at the time of the relationship ending I was actually relieved (that is true BTW) and that after losing sight of that for a few months, my relief has returned.
In effect, I have made it a 'mutual break-up'….and you know what?......She doesn't like it one bit!! She emailed back saying that she sometimes still wonders if this is the right thing to do (WTF?) and that she still misses me.
What I have done is given her a bit of rejection – instead of being the guy who has been rejected, I am actually saying that there were some things about her (in the relationship) that I didn't like either…..and it's making her as insecure as hell.
She is now questioning her confidence, she is now worried about the loss of power that she used to have over me……and I am the one who feels in control.
Believe me, in the right situation (depending on the break-up), this is gold!
I have gone from being pitied by her to now feeling a little bit sorry for her (because of her insecurity). I have the power back and now feel (more than ever) ready to leave her behind…..because it is MY decision as well.
Trust me on this – if you want to boost your confidence and put more than a little doubt in your ex's mind…..just agree with them, simple but effective.