MrKadash

I don't want to be seen as the girl who won't put out.

That should have absolutely no bearing on your decision whatsoever. How you are perceived by others as far as your feelings about sex is none of their business, except for the person you are with....

My personal opinion is that dating someone from this site or any other website is the same - people are just as likely to be "hurt," "damaged," or not emotionally prepared to date from this website, as any another website, or even in real life. I believe the people that visit eNotalone give a good overall representation of the world population but more specifically North America. So, with that being said I think it's just as safe seeing someone from this website as it is anywhere - talk, observe, analyze, draw conclusions.

 

Good luck with whomever you're seeking.

Good paragraph, I was thinking the same thing. Although I would never consider dating anyone here, I don't see any reason why a respectful PM is out of the question or "Taboo."

Man, I'd be out trying to hang with girls C, D, and E also.

Seriously though, I'm with DiggityDogg here. There is no exclusivity yet, so be open about it....

Can you explain how it could be negative. Please support you answers. Thanks.

Simply put, I think a majority of girls don't like desperate guys. There are plenty of examples and opinions on this site as to why this is.... gives off a vibe that the guy is needy, clingy, overbearing, etc.

I've absolutely developed feelings for girls while starting with a casual relationship. For me it was prime because their were no expectations or pressure to figure anything out - we both knew what we wanted as long as the communication was open. But for me the emotional strain always got in the way (not true for all guys) and it either ended or I (we) wanted more. It all depends on the individual. Just make sure you both are on the same page to lesson the chances of one or both of you getting hurt.....

What a crapshoot. I've had friends of mine take it to each extreme, going woefully slow to the way of your new friend, with mixed results. Impossible to say which category he falls into -- me personally I never buy a girl flowers or gifts of any sort until I have a chance to know her better through a few dates. It gives that "relationship" feeling too soon for me, but of course everyone is different. Whether or not he's a player is for you to try to decipher, great advice I know. But you are in control of yourself, and let him know that if you need to. Keep in mind that he may be a keeper. A couple of my buddies who shower girls with affection early on more times than not are given the polar ice cap treatment, and I tell them to lower it a notch. But they are decent guys to me who deserve good things. Best of luck....

i don't wanna seem like stalker/needy by keep sending messages

You just gave yourself good advice, my friend. Give it some time (few days), and don't be impatient. Too much/often too quick can be a negative.

They gotta be scented. For me anyways.

No Amber, we just sit on the couch with a beer and pretzels watching sports.....

I use light conversation to start with some light teasing. I like to see what kind of a sense of humor she has, because its fun and most women (to me) respond well to it. If she can laugh at/with me then I can tell she would be someone I'd like to spend more time with. I guess if I send any signal it would be plenty of eye contact. Very important. If I think things are going well I just ask for her number. I guess it's the age old thing that's been with boys when kids. You tend to pick on the girl you like --

She must:

-- Never beat around the bush

Well, it really depends on my mood that particular day. If I had to come up with something that stands out more often than the others, it would have to be the "bum."

Because guys can be very dense. Unless you tell them flat out that it is THEM who you don't want to date, nor will you ever, they usually try to sneak in some way or another by becoming a "friend" and wait you out. That happens quite often.

What a relief to know I'm not dense. Whenever I've heard that response from a woman I'm heading for the exits.

Thanks for the replies.

An update from today. I had lunch and saw her, and she was all business today. I hardly talked to her other than "Hi, how are you."

I left her a note on paper before I left that read "You look really great today" with a smiley face, and got no real reaction that I could tell.

Hope I didn't do anything wrong, I don't want to freak her out. Just wanted to compliment.

I should elaborate.

I never did anything in front of others except for the cell phone instance, and no one laughed "at" her or in front of her.

I have always talked to her about hanging out or more personal stuff when she was alone.

I'm just getting a strong vibe, and wonder what to do next.

My quick story. I met an extremely attractive young waitress over a year ago and learned through friends that she was going through a divorce and had two small children. It got to the point where it was just a passing "HI, how are you?" each time I went.

About three weeks ago she waited on me and I gave her a hard time (playfully) and she seemed to respond positively. Things started to change after that. Two weeks ago I went in and she was different -- lots of smiles, more eye contact, etc. I decided to try and initiate something more because of a vibe I was getting. In front of a table full of my co-workers, I waited until she was walking by and I simply held out my cell phone, and asked for her number, and she obliged. I went up to her behind the counter before I left and asked if we could hang out, and she said yes - "call me" and I thought all was well. I called her the next day (too soon?) and she was busy for the weekend, but she said she would call me. When she never called, I figured I would wait a week and see her in the restaurant the day I usually see her. On this past Thursday I got there and she seemed different yet. Smiles and eye contact more than before. We chatted for a minute, I made her laugh, and was getting a strong vibe. She seemed anxious, and gave my friend $7 too much change. This struck my friends funny, and she was embarrassed.

My basis for this post is this. When I was leaving, I went up to her and she looked at me and said "you make me nervous".... That stopped me in my tracks, I really didn't know how to take that and I was too dumbstruck to ask her to elaborate. I asked her that I wasn't one to jump through hoops and if I was just spinning my wheels here -- she responded with a no. The short of it is she again replied that she would call me.

Any opinions on her "you make me nervous" comment? I didn't think I was doing anything out of the ordinary. I can only come up with a couple of reasons. She likes me but is being cautious about me and dating after her divorce, or am I coming on too strong and it was her way of telling me to back off. I have called her once in two weeks, so I'm not exactly pushing the envelope sort of speak. Thanks for any opinions...