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Dilly

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Everything posted by Dilly

  1. Dilly
    BTR, I'm so happy for you! YOu sound so fortunate and stable. I'm also happy that you're nearing the end of the second trimester. Gosh, THAT has to feel sensational! I'm glad R is seeing that he is causing himself problems with his mood swings and that you are not allowing yourself to be affected by the idea that he is not trustworthy. Raising a glass of non-alcoholic beverage to you to cheer you on to these heights well into the future. I am so curious what you and your mother might sell!!! It's so nice to have a friend in a mother.
  2. Dilly
    This is hilarious! Oh, SouthernGirl, I'm so glad you passed!!! YAYA!!! Sorry you had to go through the spanking machine first. What abuse!!
  3. Dilly
    It really is interesting imagining a Tickle-me-elbow in there. Gosh, how wild!!!
  4. Dilly
    Have you called the doctor's office to at least report this? I would place a call and have a conversation or two with the nurse. I'm very curious what they say.
  5. Dilly
    I'm also glad to hear she is recovering and might be coming home soon to hold her little precious Ian.
  6. Dilly
    Ohhhh, BTR, I was away for a few days! I'm sorry about all these feelings! I think if he only played by your rules, if he only earned and maintained your trust, then all of those things would become a part of your future! Ugggh, I know what you mean.
  7. Dilly
    Oh, thank you so much for the update!!! Ugggh, this is so difficult! My deepest regards and warmest thoughts are with you!!!
  8. Dilly
    I love this idea. Sometimes I find though that it requires a very cooperative partner, one who is willing to do that without saying, I don't see your perspective ... Still, for a mature couple, this tool will provide a successful intervention.
  9. Dilly
    Katie, Love, I am so happy for you!!! I really am!!! My family was totally unsupportive of me keeping the baby too and I felt so alone in the world and now, they are all truly happy and I am so happy for you, also!!! You are going to get through this!!! GOOSEBUMPS!!! Oh I am so thrilled. I was thinking that I was going to get an abortion, too and actually went to the clinic TWICE. Then, I cancelled and postponed it once more, went to the doctor, got an ultrasound at week 8.5 and saw the heartbeat. That was the turning point. What an amazing thing you have growing and what a miracle you two have made!!! I am thrilled for you that your boyfriend is in love with you and the idea of this child is lovely to him. Thank you so much for listening to your heart as so many people cave in to their families and society pressures. I know that with proper determination and support, you will get back to school and make it through. I know it's crazy but this is a blessing and your life will only be enriched by it!!! BIG HUGS, LOVELY GIRL!!!
  10. Dilly
    CONGRATULATIONS! That's a pretty nice-sized baby!!! Wishing Dani well! Stay strong!
  11. Dilly
    Excellent news. I'm so glad she was honest and forthright about her situation and that you now know the score. Also, I think women play around with guys' heads because they also have egos that need to be stroked. I would not say that all women are like this but I've seen some girls in relationships (one of my close friends even) and she would sit on guys' laps at work, let them do all of her work for her (and they did), and she just really was riding on a magic carpet. I don't think these types really change either so either way, you got good data on her and no, I would hold that against her and distract any residual interest for her towards something respectable. I'm so glad you know.
  12. Dilly
    Adaboy!!! Think positive and know you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
  13. Dilly
    Follow NJ ROn's and Annie's advice and just do it!!! It will give you such a rush and believe it or not, you'll feel better about it.
  14. Dilly
    Gosh, I think I heard you say you married him just to spite Lee. You might not even know why youre with him or what you love about him. I would suggest that you consider what you have with him (the good) and what you have with him (the neutral) and what you don't have (the bad). Because honestly, it doesn't sound like anything is missing but sparks. Maybe it's got the raw material to burn incessantly and keep your hearts warm for life, but the fact that you just kind of describe it as though you have never really been into Ray, well, you've been distracted. I think first you have to get Lee out of your head. I don't know if that means you tell Lee to get out of your head, it can never work OR if that means just nixing it from your imagination. Whatever you do, you have to give Ray and your family a fair shot. When yiou have someone else in your heart, you won't feel anything for the supposed intruder that is your husband.
  15. Dilly
    and without trust, there can be nothing more. But he did nothing to earn your trust either. Keep that in mind.
  16. Dilly
    Hey you know what, I believe he really really liked you and that he really really saw the best you had to offer and that he really really did get scared because he saw that you were falling for him and yes, possibly he was falling for you, too. Maybe he spent many nights on the computer late with his wife asking, why? Maybe he did feel guilty. And maybe he had a good reason to keep his marriage quiet (though I can think of none). But nonetheless, he handled everything so poorly and that's why I think he merits no additional consideration. I wish I could tell you he is thinking about you, dreaming about you... but that would only egg you on to fantasize about him further. I think it may be healthy to assess it fairly and assume he liked you and that you had something special, but that it could/can never be and that in trying to draw a boundary, you came to your ends as friends as you did not respect it and crossed it repeatedly. That is the most generous interpretation I can lend him, that he liked you, but will always lack trust for you and never will trust you to heed his boundaries.
  17. Dilly
    I just want to say one other thing... I was in a relationship with my first love and I woke up Saturdays wishing I'd have time to myself and looking at him with disgust as he proposed another damn afternoon spent rollerblading. It was too predictable, too easy, too cozy and you know what? I killed that relationship and now look back at it with such fondness because it really did have what it took to go the distance. Now, I'm just saying that your current relationship reminds me a whole lot of my first relationship. They get boring after the first two years of "romantic love" and they become "real". I describe this to many of my girlfriends and they all shake their head like, yeah, that's show I'm feeling now about my relationship and many go to counselling because that buzz of excitement is gone. Let me just say that it's as much your responsibility as it is his to make yourselves happy. Just try. I once knew this woman who married her first love and many thought, wow, he's so boring how does she stay with him?! They ahve it all and they are so happy! She thinks her life is wonderful and when people stand back, they see she has made it that way and that he actually is a really cool guy with so much to offer.
  18. Dilly
    I wish I could add to this, but I think Melrich has hit all the important points. So forgive me as I babble on in saying that ... I completely agree that Lee is a fantasy. You don't have the means to make a living for yourself and yet much of your emotional energy is getting robbed by this fantasy to be with a guy you don't even know any more? Our minds play tricks on us. The power of a first-love is surreal, but we have to remember that it didn't work and there are many reasons for this. If he was the one, you would have known it then, when there was so much on the line (especially with a beautiful little girl in the picture). You wouldn't have married someone to spite him because you would have had faith that he would come back to you. The love you describe is at best adolescent and hardly mature enough to sustain any healthy interaction between you and his daughter. It hurts me to hear how you might just pick up and leave if Lee gave you any indication that he would be interested in a reunion. It hurts me because that may be all he wants, to win you back and then, break your heart again or vice versa. You guys were playing games with each other and Lee is leaving all the hard adult work to Ray, a loving, responsible, respectable man. A car won't make you happy, but filling your life with goals other than winning some leaver back will. Romantic emotions can charge us with new energy and make us feel alive and really the feeling is nothing more than a drug addiction. I think you're suffering from the drug right now that is the chemical rush you get from the idea of falling in love. With all the responsibilities of being a mom, you probably just want an escape from it all, a trip back to your late adolescence when things were so much simpler. Click your heels three times, my love, it won't work. It's too late. Please snap out of it before you jeopardize this relationship that you have, because it's more than just one, it's five. What you had with Lee may have been special, but attempting to turn the hands of time backwards will do nothing but leave them wrapped around your neck with you strangled in it's timeless grip.
  19. Dilly
    Oh boy. I find that in my circle of guy friends, some refer to women as psycho stalker females and shake their heads while shooting pool and having eye-sex with the girl over their left shoulder. No offense to you, but he's probably moved on to his next conquest, a woman who will have a fling in private without letting her emotions get involved. I am still tied to the notion that he was looking for a cheap thrill. I don't hold onto any ideas that this guy is a good man who spent a couple of weeks walking down the path of temptation. Good men announce their marriage happily and are not prone to hide things like involvement with women that they go home to. In my experience, a man who conveniently hides behind the curtain of non-committment is a man who is asking for a side-relationship, period. You guy is blasting you in my opinion if not to his mates, to himself. He thinks lowly of you and is not harboring any warm feelings. Sure, he may want an ego trip soon and wish you would write him for the power that he had over you, but you are better moving on with your life and knowing that he is a scumbag.
  20. Dilly
    How did the day go?
  21. Dilly
    I agree with I'm that Girl (as usual ). I think that it's unfortunate he keeps occupying your thoughts, but know that you will get through it and that better things are coming your way, like you birthday. What you really could stand to do is get a sensible hobby at this point because the emotional energies that surround a love or loss of love can be so amazing that they can push you beyond your wildest dreams. Honestly, you hear of all those people who conquer amazing feats with divorce or when they fall in love. Either way, it's an emotionally energetic event (falling in and out of love) that we simply derive tremendous energy from it - channel that energy now into something constructive. I want you to focus on creative writing or something like that that suits you. I want you to focus on trying to get your mind off him. You are doing well, trust me. Day 8 is on it's way!!!
  22. Dilly
    Oh girl, it's good to hear from you on this high note. I understand, trust me. I think you're going to overcome this soon though, much sooner than I. I am only speaking to you in the vain that I would speak to myself if I could years ago. I want to give you a gigantic hug for being so receptive to the feedback. That really shows your interest in moving on.
  23. Dilly
    Wow, I also read in What to Expect When Your Expecting that the stuffy nose is a major issue later in pregnancy. It's so funny how nasal pregnant women sound, isn't it? FUNNY! Do you have the operator's voice? Thanks for the info on blood volume, makes sense to me.
  24. Dilly
    Thanks BTR! It's amazing how when you look at your own situation sometimes, you think you are trapped and then, someone else (like an infertile mother or an aged woman who waited too long) might see your "trash" as "treasure". I don't want to sway your decision, but I do hope that you take all things into appropriate consideration. The fact that your boyfriend is supportive is so freakin' huge. I think now that having children earlier in my life might have been such a huge blessing. But I understand if you don't. I also think that ... sometimes those early first-love relationships really do have magic associated with them... and when we allow ourselves to get dinged and scratched up by life and the turmoil of our decisions, we become emotionally damaged. I woudln't want you to move on a decision that you will undoubtably regret ... but please consider all angles of this - of course, without tormenting yourself. I know you will make a decision you can live with. But please engage all facets of your psyche in the making of it (your mind, heart, conscience, and gut) and if you believe in a higher power, by all means pray.
  25. Dilly
    My very first symptom was a strange stuffy nose (I had this 2-3 days before my missed period and continued to have it for several weeks). It wouldn't drain or drip - it just remained stuffy. I gather now that it was due to the hormonal action in my blood trying to build up a mucous plug. YUCK I know.... but I don't have the stuffy nose now, but did for at least six weeks. The sore boobs didn't come along until maybe 6-7 weeks (two weeks after my missed period). I knew something was wrong when I was trying to do a 16 mile run and at mile 7, my heart rate was crazy high. I didn't feel right at all. From the get-go, my heart rate went up. Now, in all objectivity, that could have been due to low blood sugar, but I had NEVER FELT LIKE THAT BEFORE in all of my two decades worth of running.
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