EvaGina

If she knows who you are then it is kind to offer help... keeping it informal and as lighthearted as possible without being flippant is good... the heavy responses you get when in grief can be heart wrenching, especially as you are not a close friend or anything. notsomuch had it spot on when she said she didnt have the energy to reply... making your presense known without making her feel obligated to reply to you is good. "Sorry to hear of your loss. If there is anything I can do to help, just sing out. Otherwise, my thoughts are with you and your family." I dont know... I dont deal with death well at all.

I would say she is attracted to you. But even if their marriage is open, do you really want to get involved with an attached woman? wintersolstice is right, hopso work tends to come with a lot of sexual energy. I did it with my mates at the cafe I worked at for years, but then they were my friends outside of work as well and we are all naturally flirty kind of people. this lady might just be enjoying playing with fire... shemight be in need of the excitment

I signed up to one and although I met some of the most horrible people I have ever had the displeasure to meet, I also met some of the best. Its a gamble... people, although you might only have your profile on "friends" still assume that you are looking for somthing more, and if they dont get it they can get shirty. I met a whole bunch of people who I got along with REALLY well, but didnt want to date, just be friends, and they couldnt handle it, they got all weird. there is a stigma that goes with them as well,... its embarrassing to tell people you met your new partner on an online dating service (if you do meet someone, that is)

Is it a small class? Would she know who you are??

It happens My friends and I do that a lot... We tend to be a bit more reserved with our friends, expect less from them... so it just shows that you two are closer than most

That makes sense... I like it when my bf opens up to me as well, Im just glad it doesnt happen after sex!!

Dress shirt is FINE!!! To be honest, different men suit different things and women have their own preferences I like a groomed man, I used to date a guy who wore suits all the time, and I loved it. But my bf now is in jeans and t shirts all the time, I hate him cleanshaven and he wears really kooky things (like a golfing glove... I dont know why) As long as you dress in what you feel powerfull in, what gives you confidence, I dont see the problem. Are they nicely tailors shirts? I HATE shapeless baggy dress shirts

The grass is always greener... BE CAREFULL... she is attracted to you and if you take it too far you will have to deal with the guilt of interferring with a marriage.

I have heard of that, but never experienced it. and Orgasm releases a huge amount of hormones into your system, so it could just be that.

Ok, even tho I am a girl, I know what my bf likes... He likes to go down on me... I think it makes him feel powerfull knowing that he is pleasuring me and that I trust him enough to make myself that vunerable to him. Apart from that, he likes me to dress up... knee high fishnets and high heels do the trick.

That Hiding from conflict will save me pain in the long run. Also that manipulating men into doing what I want is the best way... (it took a lot to realise that I was that kind of person, and its hard to change) Now I just try to be an honest and understanding as I can, and it seems to work... He does what I want because he wants me to be happy, as opposed to doing what I want (with resentment) because I challenge him into it.

Yea, thats fair enough. If they seem generally concerned and she feels she wants to tell them more, then of course its fine!! Its her problem and hurt It just seems to me that she wants to keep this a bit private, which is totally her desiscion to make. The last post I made was more of a general thing, as opposed to being directed at the OP.

I dont think lying is ever good... if you get caught out you look like a complete tool. Just act with dignity and keep your composure. I had a really bad one a while back where I had to warn everyone at my jobs about him because he was stalking me. Having to tell people how badly he treated me was degrading and uncomfortable for everyone involved. People dont WANT to hear about your personal life unless they are good friends (or super nosey, in which case they can stuff off ) If people DO find out that he cheated on you, they will think you are all the more stronger for being quiet and strong about it. Keep the moaning and crying and slagging off for your good friends and family

hmmmm, its a hard one because, as you said, its only been 3 weeks and you dont want to seem like a banshee. I would just say "I was really looking forward to seeing you on friday, I know work's work and all, but could you try give me a bit more notice next time?" if you are understanding then he will hopefully be good about it.

poor button, I hate the having to explain thing. I agree with Dako "it wasnt the best break up and I would rather not talk about it" in a nice, light manner will have people getting off your back Good luck

It also gives women a bad reputation. Men can do horrible things to women somtimes, normally things just born out of inconsideration... but they normally have motive behind it. Point in case: My bf didnt want me to come to a gig with him and his friends the other week, instead of telling me, I went along and got ignored all night. It was horrible, but after I talked to him about it I understood becuase his last gf would have had a complete mental at him if he tried to do somthing without her. If a woman treats a man like that for ending a relationship.. he is likely to be more sneaky and underhanded about breaking up with someone the next time. I know its not right, but women do it all the time, clinging becuase their last partner cheated and things like that.

Short answer: becuase it makes you look like an immature moron. If they cant handle their emotions, then maybe they WEREN'T being treated badly in the relationship in the first place, maybe the person was just playing the victim, being overly dramatic and needy. I have only done somthing like that once, and although I find the concept hilarious (flaming dog poo... classic) I feel like such a tool for doing it... I was obsessed and I should have just let it go, it was unhealthy.

A good friend and I are SO MEAN to eachother, all the time, she calls me fatas* and I call her saggy boobs... but we love it and we are very close Even my bf and i are mean to eachother, its a sign of endearment and if we go to far we instantly know and reassure the hurt party. It sounds like your friends are just doing this to you, but becuase of your adverse response (even if you try to hide it, they will know) they get irritated that you take it to heart, and they do it even worse Im not saying that its cool, or a good excuse, Im just explaining what they are doing. Next time, give it back worse... like with the female friend, if shes a bit slutty, ask her why she bothers wearing pants if they will be off for the first guy that asks... or if she has a flat chest, ask why she bothers wearing a bra... DONT me mean about it, do it in an offhand way... but although I dont normally condone "two wrongs making a right" you will either see its not a big deal and you will get into the spirit of things... or they will realise how it hurts and they will stop... Unless they really are that immature, then they will get all resentfull that thier doormat is fighting back... in which case you are better off without them

of all things, licking eachothers tongues... it sounds pretty odd... I cant really describe it... I discovered it while amazingly high one day and now its a bit of a treat, but it blows my socks off every time

I was friends with my Lecturer at uni a few years back... we went out for coffee and drinks and things, watched movies at one of his friends houses... But it kinda ended up bad If there is NO romantic motivation behind it, I say go for it... but be honest with yourself, its not worth leaving uni for, is it?

^^^ YES!! I cant believe I didnt think of that My mother had her thyroid removed and she had problems with her hair beforehand

When we just lie back and kiss for no reason other than enjoying kissing...

My boyfriend spent 20 mins kissing up my right arm once... from the tips of my fingers to my shoulder.... I have never felt so loved

I know where my boyfriend likes being kissed: ears (!!!) neck collarbones underarms and inside of elbows/wrists ribs waist (more bitten than kissed actually) inner thighs yeah... so pretty much everywhere

If I am kissing my bf in a place that isnt appropriate for him to be aroused in, he will push me away I dont mind, I understand that sometimes a general kiss doesnt make him get hard, but making out pretty much always makes him excited. I like it, I like that he finds me attractive