EvaGina
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Everything posted by EvaGina
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masty daily but build up a minute a week? a minute is quite a long time
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look at it like training... build up the time everytime you masterbate. try to add a minute a week or somthing
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May I ask what happened? Are you ok?
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-hug- sweetheart, are there any local gay youth groups you can join? I was part of one when I was younger, just to support my gay friend, it had a fantastic atmosphere!!!
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Thats fair I wasn't trying to pick on Tiredman (sorry Tiredman!!) I know I have run into men like that before, I have even played that instinct against them (acting like the poor helpless girl) I know that everyone has their own comfort zones and things, but it seems like such a foreign concept!! come to think of it, my parents relationship is probably just that... I know she is comfortable in it (having spoken to her about it a lot) but I also know she isnt happy. Perhaps thats why I get so up-in-arms about it.
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I think he will understand He must have had his own share of difficulties with being gay
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With the alcoholic thing? Yeah, its fine, he's going back to tech full-time in 2 weeks, so he needs the night-time work. Ill probably end up working in a pub or resturant next semester when I go back to uni as well I dont tend to lapse just because alcohol is around me, I tend to do it when I am alone and upset.
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The -not coming out until you are independent- thing, although unfortunate, is totally understandable. I wish you luck, and do post when Kinzie gets back, hopefully you will find a trustworthy friend in him
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I know it is hard with the gf, but its not fair to ANYONE, least of all yourself, to be going through with a farce of a relationship. I have no idea how to sympathise with your situation. I am bi, in a very open community, but I have had no need to come out to my parents so far (due to who I have ended up dating). I know the fear you feel, but no where NEAR the extent you must feel it at. I know that once you do come out it will be a releif, that you will feel like a weight has been taken from your shoulders, but its the fear you feel before taking the leap thats hard.
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LOL It helps explain a lot about some of my past "relationships" I just cannot imagine what the LASTING attraction to someone that naive would be tho? (Perhaps I have a bad "virgin" sterotype??)
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Totally understandable, but still kind of depressing. When someone can admit "Can't mix the two in my eyes", shouldnt that be a warning sign? I agree that people are right to have their standards, but when it becomes hypocritical, when a woman is disregarded as a partner becuase of her sexual appetites, I would think that a bit of soul searching would be in order.
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Gah This almost made me cry (Im sorry how old is 10th grade? Im in NZ) But despite that, its amazingly depressing that you are unable to live your life. First things first, break it off with your GF. It cant be any good for your soul to be adding one more lie on top of things. Second, I am sure that this guy you met at the speech meet will know what you are going through, why dont you ask him for help? For advice?
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I dont wish to offend anyone here, but I find that quite pathetic. In this day and age shouldnt one be able to explore their sexual desires without being condemed as "dirty" or "slutty" for it? And as for only Marrying the "sweet" type... my bf and I have wicked sex... but our relationship is overly sweet, almost sickeningly so. How you relate to one another in bed doesnt always translate to every part of your life. The opposite happens in fact (ie, high powered men seeking to be dominated and the like)
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It just seems to contribute to the notion that sex is dirty, which in turn contributes to feelings of guilt and so on and so forth.
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Ok, I have dealt with stalking and abusive ex's... and no, its not safer. You are letting him control your life!!! How is that even slightly acceptable!??!! He should KNOW that you wont stand for any misbehaviour, that if he tries anything untoward you will have him in trouble so fast his head spins. Take responsibility for yourself!! If you are willing to pander to his whims and put your life on hold on the off chance you might bump into someone who knows him... and they might tell him you are out of the house, then how can you expect to get your life back? You are going to have to take a risk. A big one.
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You are going to have to get outside of your comfort zone if you truly want to break this. I know its scary, believe me, I could give you a list of reasons that makes leaving the house nigh impossible for me everyday... but in the end you have to choose what kind of life you have to lead and live with the fear that accompanies it. Excuses are just excuses, you are makinghtings worse inside you head than they actually are. WHY would it be so bad if you saw a friend of your ex? Apart from generally feeling uncomfortable?
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Really? I find that very odd. I could never love anyone completely if I couldnt be adventurous in bed with them. I suppose its a trust thing for me.
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It doesnt even occur to me to look!! But then again, I am only 23, I dont know many married people socially. I used to wear a ring on my engagement finger, its the only finger a ring feels comfortable on for me.
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I have told him how I feel about his drinking and pot smoking (Im an alcoholic, and he works in a pub, but it doesnt seem to be an issue to me like how it was with my last bf) and he respects that. he doesnt get trashed around me and he smokes pot to be more socially acceptable, that I PREFER him when he is sober and crazy is somthing he really likes. I have also told him that I hate him smoking ciggerettes, and he wants to quit too but he doesnt feel he is in the right place right now, which I understand (I used to smoke) and I have told him I will help him when he wants to quit but I wont pressure him. In short, no, he knows I am not trying to control him I suppose the history thing is true. He knows how much it hurt me last time and I know he wants this to last (small hints) and after his last gf, I know he appreciates that his family likes me. I suppose he is a bit scared that after being back together for a week I was ready to move for him (I was planning a move anyway, so it was just good timing) although he told me he wouldnt change it for the world. sorry if I am ranting, I am just trying to sort through things in my head I suppose, I am normally quite cynical about relationships.
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-hug- youre very brave!! I would have run for mother by now!! I stand by internet dating sites (BE CAREFULL) I met a lot of new, great people through them when I moved cities. I made friends with the bartenders at the local, popular pub first (went for a drink with the flatmates and got talking to the bartenders) and I would arrange to meet people from the internet at this pub so that I had an allie if it turned pear shaped (I ended up dating one of the bartenders!!). I say get a flat with people you dont know. When I moved cities it was a flatmate who introduced me to a whole bunch of new people. Plus, living by yourself is so lonely!!!
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We havnt been back together for very long at all, only two months, the first of which we were mostly apart before I moved to his city. I know it doesnt sound like much, and I know its cliche', but we both feel like we have been together forever. He can tell my mood just from the way I walk!! I dont think you can put a time limit on love, as soon as I saw him again I knew we would be togther, it was almost instinct, we gravitated towards eachother physically and it sure would have looked like we were a couple. I do trust him. Every now and then I get a bit of a fright and get scared he will cheat or somthing, but I know the difference between a "gut feeling" and just reminants of issues from the past. I know he is trustworthy, and when I todl him I was scared he didnt get mad, he just said "I suppose it will take time for you to trust me completely, but I am not going to break your heart". I dont need to hear the words, even if I was to say it I wouldnt mind if he wasnt ready to say it back. I just have to hold myself back all the time, I think I said it to him when I was half asleep the other night, but it may have been a dream. I just desperatly dont want to make him feel uncomfortable by saying it. Last time we broke up it wasnt anything major, I was very upset and he wasnt exactly a gentleman... but he smoked a lot of pot, which I wasnt happy with... and both of us dealt with it badly, leading to resentment. I dont even think about that anymore tho, all I can remember of those days is how much we used to laugh. I was heartbroken after we broke up, I left the town (I was in boarding school) and I saw him every now and then for the next 2 years... we would normally end up in bed, but he was still angry at me for "trying to control him". He has the weed thing under control now, he has the occasional smoke on the weekend with mates, which I am fine with, but I dont like how he is on it, so he doesnt do it around me he has an EXTREMELY extroverted personality (outwardly, anyways) so he smokes pot to calm him down. Hes what most people would consider a weirdo, I think hes amazing
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With the "I look forward to seeing you in school again"... to me, if I was stressed and upset, it would just a reminder of obligations I was not filling.
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There is no such thing as %95 trust, you either do or you dont... and you obviously dont. Tell her... She would most likely be upset if you had a female friend you didnt let her meet... I know why you are anxious, if she was totally open about you meeting him then you probably wouldnt care, but if she is acting like she has somthing to hide, she probably does.
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Im Engaged and Need Suggestions?
EvaGina replied to my.alias's topic in Marriage/Long Term Relationships
I would say that although it is kind of cliche'... a night of total pampering never goes astray. Make sure you have the house to yourself and then organise everything from his favourite dinner and dessert to a completely indulgent sex session... use everything you know about him to make him feel amazing and loved -
I am just a bit confused, batteling between my heart/desires and what I know is best for my boyfriend. I have known him for 8 years, he was my first proper bf when I was 15. We have recently met up after not seeing eachother for 5 years and its great. We had a connection all that time ago and I have never forgotten him. He was single for 2 years before we met back up last year... his last gf tried to make him choose between him and his family and although he acts quite flippant about the whole thing, I think it hurt him more than he lets on. He is also very self-conscious, one of those men who acts like they are super happy and jovial all the time, but he is really quite down on himself. We have an amazing amount of fun!! I know how he feels about me, he doesnt tell me he loves me but thats just three little words, right? He treats me better than anyone ever has before, and he has been my motivation for me to start working on the flaws in my personality, I want to make him happy. I am so in love I tear up at the thought of him. Its just that every now and then I feel like he is going to talk about somthing important, but he clams up. He doesnt trust me enough to fully let go yet, and although I am being patient and I dont pressure him into anything, I sometimes want to shake him and yell "DONT YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU AND YOU CAN TRUST ME WITH ANYTHING?!!?!!!" I just gently ask him questions and try to get him to come out of his shell. I know he is trying hard with me, he is so patient and kind, and I am sure I could tell him anything and he wouldnt hold it against me. I just wish he knew he could trust me. he knows how I feel about him. I am leaving the "I love you" thing up to him, but I am always letting him know (not just with words) how much he means to me. I have some trust issues as well (I have a long history with cheating, beating and rape), I have told them and he understands. I know he would never do anything to intentionally hurt me and I am desperatly trying to get over my issues. I think its unfair to let the horrible people in my past effect what he and I have. So yes, I know I just need to be patient and let him relax, this thread is more to set my thoughts out and hopefully someone can tell me I am doing the right thing and perhaps tell me any experiences they have had?
