EvaGina

There is nothing, no one I would rather put my energies into

LOL! I know!! But, it does take work, it's not like some magic spell, and, I had to go through hell to find him. Totally worth it though.

 

!!!

So many people dont understand that... its not easy... its not automatic... you have to swallow your pride a lot, fight against any bad habits you may have...

 

totally worth it tho.

That doesnt sound like she was using you for sex at all.

Think about it, if she was in abusive relationships, she probably only knew affection through sex and things...

She was probably desperate for someone to be with her for her, but didnt know how to do it. and about the other guy, she is probably just clinging to whoever shows her affection becuase everyone throws her away.

Instead of being heartless and flinging her away like that, you should have realised that she is TOTALLY messed up, sat her down and talked to her, told her you werent interested in a sexual relationship but you would be there for her as a friend, that she didnt have to use sex to keep you around.

You probably just contributed to her problems, seeing as she opened up to you, messed up, came back and put herself on the line, and you ignored her.

But it is also possible that the person realised that the relationship was going nowhere - that the feelings were just not there. That is a risk that both people take. And no one should stay in a relationship in which they are not happy because they feel some sort of obligation as they had sex.

agreed

I have been accused of using people for sex -snort- but I really WANTED to like them more than I did... that spark just wasnt there... I was kidding myself by thinking maybe sex would bridge a gap or something.

I've never masturbated during sex we talked about that once b/c I came very close ONCE and began to finish myself, but he moved my hand and said he wanted to help me finish. He's a bit of a control freak in the bed...he likes to be in control of what's happening and if I tried to do that I feel like he would be offended and think he's not doing a good enough job.

that is not a good sign at all.

If you arent comfortable telling him what you need, then why are you even having sex with him?

I hate to be a wet blanket, but I cant see you ever orgamsing in a situation like that.

Me too E find that it is difficult to make friends with women...When I was single (not married I mean) it was worse cuz all of my friends were married. Now I am in a new State, with my live in bf and its all his friends and family. I do not feel like a wallflower though as I always jump in to any conversation being the comedian that I am! (Hides the insecurities) But I would like to have at least one female friend in this area....lonely...

yep

I joined (of all things) an online dating service with a "friends" option

macca isnt that pleased about it, just becuase I get a million messages from sleazy guys, but I explained I need my own friends, that I get really upset when hes out and I am stuck at home. and that Ill only be meeting women...

Im chatting to one awesome chick who lives in my area too!

I have a friend who at the age of 26, is only now finally staying past the 3 month mark in a relationship. I asked him about it and he said that he always leaves when the "crap" starts -- when its no longer fun, and when the girl just becomes a big hassle. I can only imagine how much fun he's had over the years experiencing sex with so many different girls.

so in other words he is too scared to have a real relationship where you work out your problems and develop a real bond.

And I doubt the feeling is mutual for the girls, unless he TELLS them he is going to leave after 3 months, he is a complete and utter toss-pot.

and if he did tell them that, then he is basically blackmailing them into swallowing their needs so as not to cause "crap"

He sounds like a complete winner!! not an immature manipulative little child at all!!

... really have very little recourse in society when something is done to them. "

 

I don't think I've ever heard anything farther from the truth. All women have to do is make the accusation, and the man's life can be ruined.

its not actually as easy as that.

remembering that we are still shackled by old-fashioned society values a lot of the time.

Fer christs sake, they think that only a THIRD of rapes are reported... I would estimate more like only a 10th...

I know you have never really had good experiences with women, but can you please stop acting like we are all evil liers? we are people too, you know.

Been used for sex a lot... and used sex to get affection (as lousy as that is)

Been raped by three men and pressured by lord knows how many others...

But then, when you are with someone who is with you for you, the sex is amazing... it means so much.

Sometimes, it great to actually kick back and take the time to make love with your partner, instead of saying "this is what gets me off easiest/quickest" or "I'm tired, let's make it fast" or anything to that effect.

Yep

I mean, nothing wrong with just attacking and going till one of you finishes, but when you have the time, its important to just keep it going as long as you can... enjoy the whole thing, not just the climax.

So, I was just curious to know, when was the fastest you ever told anyone that you loved them (like in love with them). How did that relationship end up? Did you actually feel like you were in love with that person at the time, or did you just "respond appropriately"?

 

My boyfriend of 1 1/2 months exchanged "I Love You's" in a super intense moment, and people are saying that that was way too fast. So it made me curious to come on here and ask.

 

I know there are so many different scenarios. But I'd like to hear about them, whether they are past relationships or current ones.

I said it after a month or something, (well, one month in this city, two months since we got togehter) and he didnt say it back... I dont really mind, I know hes different to me and that he feels something strong.

I have known him for years tho, and he was my first real bf... I never really lost those feelings for him, being back with him feels like going home.

I fall in love hard and fast

the chance you are pregnant is TEENY WEENY, I promise

stress can do amazingly strange things to your body

I would be late, take a test, breath a huge sigh of releif when it came out negative, then my period would start 10 mins later

I am continually in fourescent lighting... that could suite possibly explain the eyes getting worse, but I started getting the "swimming head" thing when I was going through some real heavy stuff with an ex, before I was in this job with the lights.

Im not using a ray tube (??) and I dont wear clothes that restrict me around the neck or anything.

It could be loss of breath I suppose, but I dont think I breath badly when angry, people dont even KNOW im angry if they can see me, unless Im shaking or something...

Gah, I hope it has nothing to do with a drug binge I had last year

No one MAKES you feel anything

Would you rather they spent years in a relationship that they felt wasnt going anywhere? or was neglectfull, or abusive?

I would MUCH rather be hurt than hurt someone...

sorry, I dont mean to belittle your heartache, feelings are always valid, but its not fair to attack someone just for breaking off a relationship.

If they did it horribly, or were abusive or somthing, then sure, but most relationships end... you cant hate someone just beucase it didnt work out

So here it is Day 2...Ive stayed strong, haven't talked to him. Never returned the text from yesterday, and didn't hear anything from him today, but I didn't expect to. Ive had rough moments, but over all it hasn't been that bad. I know this wont kill me, it will just hurt for awhile. I honestly think he will be very shocked by the end of the week that I have made no attempt to contact him. It hurt yesterday when I got his text, just bc its like this is all no big deal to him, that he just expects I will be there still.

why should that hurt you? YOU know he is wrong... next week he will be climbing the walls, ego in tatters...

You are doing SO WELL

it doesnt sound like your dumb, it sounds like you may have a literacy or learning problem or something...

Perhaps its a problem with relating to people?

as much as I hate to analyse people, it sounds like it could almost be mild autism...

studies have shown that autism is more common than we may realise, although it is more common in men.

I am worried about her... my parents want me to talk to her, because ive been there and done that... but i ALWAYS had some interest in extra stuff.

but this isnt about you, and if anyone compares her to you she will be hurt, annoyed, feel like she isnt good enough and resent YOU and your parents.

I think my father will be taking away the TV priviledge from her today because of the whol orchestra situation...

Why? becuase she doesnt want to do something that they want her to do?

thats just nasty.

She is going to really hate you guys for that... itll be the kind of thing she will bring up in ten years time and tell all of you how hurt she was and how unfair it is... and she'll be right.

My parents did that kind of thing to me and it just made me worse, I completely shut them out of my life.

think about it, shes FOURTEEN, hormones, boys, social dilemmas... just let her grow a little, ok? However she feels fit.

How old are you?

and what kind of physical hurt has he caused you?

oi, im sunburnt atm!!

yeah, its freaky, like my brain sloshes in my head or something

I want to get it in my shoulders to help ease the pain

but I like my lines on my face

Okies... so... my eyesight has gone down the pooper recently from looking at a screen all day, thats to be expected...

But recently, when I get angry/stressed (if someone is getting me riled in a thread or when I was really upset over hte weekend) my eyes get really blurry...like I am about to fall asleep...

not only that, but if its really bad my head will spin, like I am fainting, and if its REALLy bad I can ~feel~ and definetly hear this big "zip" sensation up my neck...

its pretty horrible... do you think Im lacking a vitamin or something?

YOu dont

you let her do her own thing

if you try to force her around to YOUR way of htinking, she will rebel...

believe me.. I was that girl once

My Cat

my mum

my friends

my brother

better than "i have a boyfriend, he might not be a good person, but hes really good looking!!"

Believe it or not, you're a really effective flirt.

And you're so good, you hardly notice that you're flirting

Your attitude and confidence make you a natural flirt

And the fact that you don't know it is just that more attractive!

except I do know it...