charley

I can't say what his intentions are, or his desires. I do know that it can very difficult to know another person's mind, especially if they are shy because shy people tend to hide their inner emotions. I do know this, I'm a bit shy even now. I used to be very shy. So I have perspective on that. Shy people keep their cards close to their chest and try to hide their feelings. This makes it difficult to tell the difference between a shy person who might be interested romantically vs. a person who is just indifferent and not interested at all. However, there are clues. Over time you can start to see them. Also, time itself will ease his shyness, if that's what it really is (and not indifference). Also, as you've already observed, the more you relax, the more he will relax. This suggests to me that he is shy and interested-attracted to you because an indifferent person would have no reason to be nervous since they don't care. Since you suggested that he was, or is, nervous I then suspect that he really is shy and that his interest in you has been triggering his shyness. Time together will reduce and moderate shyness, if that's what it is. I still consider myself to be a shy guy initially, even though I've got that much reduced. I know that for myself, two types of women make me more shy and uptight: those who are very aggressive, and those who are shy. It's the women in between who I feel most comfortable with. A woman who is relaxed helps me relax, and if she is just mildly aggressive or suggestive enough so I know she likes me that way, then I know I have a green light. Eventually I'll drive through the green light. It sounds to me like you are already using a good approach. Time together and being relaxed yourself will help him relax more and his inner feelings will start being shared with you. I think you should just keep doing what you're already doing. As time goes by, you'll find out if he was just shy, or not interested. If he's shy and interested, then he will gradually become more comfortable and bold with you over time as he get's used to being around you and he absorbs more of your relaxed attitude. I think he's probably shy and interested in you. Just keep being relaxed and doing what you're doing. Once you break the touch barrier, I think things will pick up speed from there. I think holding hands as a first step (eventually) is the most relaxed way to break the touch barrier. Also, does he know what your interest in him is? Maybe he thinks you just want to be friends. That's why you expressing a desire to hold hands, or some other mild form of touching might be helpful. It breaks the touch barrier and shows your interest in him. He might then start showing his interest in you more openly. I know that for me, my first GF was my friend of 6 months until I had a backache and she gave me a back rub. Then I gave her one. It was only polite to reciprocate. Things progressed more rapidly after that because I knew it was OK for me to touch her and she liked it. That was a huge confidence boost and helped me relax with her. Hugs are another mild, pleasant, and effective way to begin breaking the touch barrier. However, hugs can be confusing. Did she hug me as a friend, or was that a GF hug? I know what tells me the difference between the two kinds of hugs, but maybe not every guy knows.

I'm not that experienced with GFs, but I am experienced with women friends, and somewhat with GFs. What is your interest in this lady? What do you perceive her interest in you to be? I personally would limit contact to once a week, unless or until she indicates she wants to see or hear from you more often. However, I can't say for sure what is the case in your situation. I've personally found that once a week is often enough to keep her interest as a friend or possible GF, if there is any interest, yet once a week is little enough contact not to creep her out, if she's not interested. How about on the second or third time you talk to her, you just ask her if she'd like to have lunch? or coffee? or ask her what she likes to do. Then, if you have some common interest, ask her if she'd like to do that. Also, you don't have to just jump right into asking her out. You can test the water in stages and watch her reactions to see if you want to go farther. For example. Tell her she's fun to talk to. Pay close attention to her reaction. If it's positive, then tell her she's pretty. If her reaction is still positive to that point, then tell her you like her. If her behavior is still positive, comfortable, and happy, then ask her if she'd like to have lunch. In this way, you're taking small steps. This will help ease your nerves if she's taking each step in a positive way. If she gets nervous or uncomfortable in one of the earlier steps, then you can decide if you want to give up, or keep trying. At least this way you ease into it. That's my opinion.

It sounds like you really like her a bunch. Good for you. Congratuations on having a good woman. Double congrats for having one who even fits your tastes. Way to go. Now if only I could be so lucky. I will. I can visualize success coming around the corner. I'm not assigning any specific hair color to her. I only know it will be a mutal attraction. I'm not thinking any more specific than that. That way my eyes will adapt to appreciate her when I meet her and like her personality. In other words, I've learned not to try and fit her to my preferences, but to fit my preferences to her. I'm referring here to my looks related preferences being adaptable to fit her. Brunettes are my default preference, but I can easily adapt from there if I meet a nice blonde or redhead or whatever. My preferences for personality are more well defined and I have a general idea what I want in her personality. You can have the firey ones and you're welcome to them. Enjoy. Give me a mellower lady who'll put up with me and love me even if I am a dufus some of the time.

I agree with the idea of not making hair color a requirement. I would not disqualify anyone due to hair color, but I do have favorites. I think people are just listing their favorites, not actual requirements. The young lady I recently asked out is a beautiful, natural blonde. Not my normal preference, but she is so sweet and hot that I liked everything about her. Since we have a mutual attraction and I've now got that former shyness problem under control. So I went for it. Another two favorites of mine are auburn (reddish brown), especially dark auburn, and also strawberry blondes. Normally, I wouldn't be as attracted to someone as light as a strawberry blonde, but once you've seen a beautiful strawberry blonde, she's like a strawberry and vanilla sunday. Those qualities go irresistably well together. Who could resist? However, I usually prefer brown or black hair, the darker the better. That's my normal preference, but it's not a rule. I don't have any rules regarding looks. I used to in the past, but I've since learned better. Personality is more important.

Really? I think they do look good sometimes, but I fear for your safety. A few local redheads come to mind. Beautiful, but best admired from a safe distance. Emotional. However, I do know one redhead at work who is beautiful, sweet, and mellow. I like.

I'm not pitching on blondes. That'd be pitching on myself. However, I do prefer brunette women. No offense to any blondes.

Oh ya. Blondes are not dumb. Why are blonde jokes short and simple? So brunettes can understand them. Ha ha ha, he he, heh, he ha

I prefer women with brown, black, or auburn hair. Who says all guys prefer blondes? Actually I wish all guys did prefer blondes. Then there'd be more brunettes available and less competition. Attention men: You are getting sleepy. Very, very, sleepy. You prefer blondes. Actually, as I've said before, I'm a natural strawberry blonde in summer and a reddish, light brown, in winter. My eyebrows are golden strawberry blonde. When I look in the bathroom mirror and see my gold eyebrows glowing, sometimes I think I look weird. Other times I think I look awesome. For sure I'm not an average looking guy. I prefer women darker than me. It is normal and common for natural blondes (men or women) to prefer a mate darker than themselves. Why? I don't know. I think it's a case of opposites attract. thereforeeee, doesn't it stand to reason that some darker people (darker than a natural blonde) would prefer a blonde? In fact, natural blondes are projected by some scientists to be headed for extinction within 200 years. Yep. Genes for blonde hair, light skin, and blue eyes are not dominent genes. So if we marry a person who is darker than us, the kids will end up darker, or somewhere in between the two parents, but not blonde and probably not blue eyed either. This is why natural blondes are becoming less common and we are a vanishing people, or at the very least becoming much less common. Don't take my word for it. Look at this scientific study on it: link removed

Mmm. Interesting thread. You're on a role, threadstarter. Cat calls to strangers? I'm not comfortable with that. To your GF as a joke when no one else is around? Maybe funny, depending on the cat call and her sense of humor. I have never made a cat call to a stranger. The idea of it embarrasses me, but then I'm shy with new women and I find it difficult enough to politely talk to them. Most of my male friends would not make a cat call. However, I have three male friends who do make reasonably polite cat calls, and maybe some that aren't so polite, but aren't to bad compared to others. In each case they've made a cat call, I was standing next to or near the guy who did it and I was so embarrassed that I was blushing and speechless and afraid she'd think it was me who'd done it. I've made some interesting observations. Some women don't mind, if it's reasonably polite. Some like it. Some hate it. One of these guy friends always draws a negative reaction, yet he never learns. Another (who is very good looking and reasonably polite) usually gets a positive response. Another who looks like a biker gets mixed reactions from various women. One time my biker looking friend said loudly, "Nasty!!!" when a really good looking brunette 25 to 30 was facing the other direction. "Nasty" is a new one to me, but I guess that means she's good looking. She was indeed very beautiful and perky from all directions. After he made his cat call, she turned around and walked right up to me. Yipes! I was really embarrassed and half expecting she was going to slap me for his cat call. Nope. She tried to start a conversation with me, but I was in 110% shy mute mode and I stared at my shoes and said nothing. Meanwhile, my friend was 5 feet away and he's like, why don't you come over here and talk to me? She walked off while he stared at her and I stared at my shoes. OK, I blew it. However, it does show that sometimes some women like that stuff, if not overly rude. Possibly she knew it was him and was making a point. I'm not sure. He looks like a narly biker while I look GQ and 2/3 angelic. I'm not sure I entirely understand what happened in the incident, but I'm pretty sure I blew an exellent opportunity. I can see her in detail in my mind right now. Darn me. So now my friend and I tease each other about that incident - the mmm mmm one that got away. She really was beautiful and she gets better looking everytime I remember her. I tell him that he can yell at them all he likes, but it won't do him any good because if they like it, they'll walk up to me. He then says it was a one time fluke, and that it wouldn't do me any good anway, even if they do walk up to me. Then he also points out that he might yet get me slapped, if he keeps trying. I also remember a young lady friend who was at a dance. I was there to, but not as her date. This other guy calls to her, "Here kitty, kitty." Now that's a cat call. I thought she'd be really upset. Nope. She was totally into it. There have been a few times women have made cat calls at me. It really embarrassed and confused me. Were they into me, or just making fun of me? Still not sure.

Come to think of it, I am immature. Just the fact that I've never been married or had kids makes me immature for my age with regard to relationships. By contrast, women my age are typically married, or divorced with teenage kids. I had a thought about the value of experience. It does have value as we all know. However, it also has some drawbacks. As a person has more experience over time, they also collect more baggage. Be it emotional baggage, teenage kids, which I'm not ready to deal with, X-spouses, etc. Less experience also has it's advantages. A fresh new perspective, the excitement of things being new, less baggage, etc. The new perspective and excitement is contagious and can be shared by their partner. The less baggage can also be appreciated. FYI - I don't consider young children to be baggage. To me they are fun and wonderful. Actually, a nice mix between experience and inexperience can be attractive to me and I often see that mix in women 25 to 30, but also sometimes in women younger or older. I also am a mix and that might appeal to some women. I don't think that people have to be on the same level, or exactly the same stage of life, but it does help a lot if they are. I think they do need to be at least similar in expectations, which probably requires a similar stage of life.

Now I'm going to be silent in this thread for a couple days or more because I want to be considerate to the ladies. They had a great, fun, educational thread going here. I found it educational. Then the thread starter invites the guys to participate and all heck breaks loose. We men have monopolized this thread for a while now. I apologize to the ladies for my part. I'm sorry and I'll be quiet for a couple days or more after this post. Ladies, please resume where you left off. Guys, let's cool it, please. Also ladies, if I did offend any of you, please let me know so that I can apologize to you and learn from it. Thank you, Charley

I have said similar things to what I posted to a GF or two in the past when I was really comfortable with her and I knew she was cool, enjoyed a good laugh, was easy going, and enjoyed me making a fool out of myself for her entertainment pleasure. I do like a good sense of humor in a woman so they had a good sense of humor. I think there is a certain charm in a guy who's willing to embarrass himself, or look foolish to make a woman laugh. Of course, certain jokes are for a GF only. One gal thought it hilarious when my tie landed in my soup. Though that was not intentional, it was fun since she liked it. Most women have a great sense of humor and I like to try to make them laugh. The reason I figured it would be OK to post those things is that I thought many, most, or possibly all the ladies would understand that some women would find it amusing that I will find creative ways to make a fool of myself for her entertainment, especially if it contains some elements of flattery. If the flattery is ridiculous, then all the better for the joking around and playing. Also, I know that women are capable adults who are just as intelligent as I am, if not more so. thereforeeee, it follows that they are capable of forming opinions, expressing their thoughts, and verbally defending themselves if necessary. I know that if I offended any ladies in this thread, they can tell me, and probably will tell me. If that happens, then I will apologize for offending each and every lady who says I offended her and I will be totally sincere about it because I respect them, I enjoy their company, their thoughts, and I do care about their feelings. I really do care. I'm sure you meant well. However, I'd like to point out that jumping in to defend women before they've even had a chance to think for themselves about an issue or a post is actually disrespectful to women. I learned that fact from my own mistakes with local lady friends, my sister, and former GFs. Women are capable. Give them a chance to think, decide, and tell me what they think about my posts in this thread, which were addressed to women. I know you would never intentionally be disrespectful to women. However, not giving them the chance to decide for themselves what they think and the opportunity to express themselves is mildly disrespectful in a chauvanistic, yet unintended way. See, I did learn some things from the feminists. I'm not the caveman that I may appear when I joke around. I always keep in mind that women are capable people and if they don't like something I've said, they'll tell me. Then I can apologize, learn from them, and adjust my thinking and behavior. The few GFs I've ever said flirty, silly jokes to laughed in some cases and smiled a lot in others. I'm very careful who I joke around with and under what circumstances and context. Despite my occasional caveman behavior, it's actually only a joke with myself as the butt of the joke and the best of intentions and respect for her independence to decide if she likes. Then I adjust to her wishes.

Try to consider how it was intended. It's a goofy joke, a funny joke, or a dumb joke depending on your opinion. In any case, it's a joke that might flatter someone, if she has a sense of humor geared to it. Yes, the few times I've said anything like that to a GF, she did enjoy it immensely, but mostly for the humor. My goal was to make them laugh more than flatter. The few GFs I've had had excellent senses of humor and enjoyed joking and playing around. Don't take me to seriously. And no, I wouldn't be saying those things to strangers or acquaintances or friends. Only to a fun GF who has a wacky fun sense of humor, and even then only occasionally. Also, if the women here have a problem with it, then please tell me and I'll apologize and shut up. However, as yet I've only seen objections from 1 man and likely an other. The other is on my ignore list, yet everywhere I go and everywhere I post on any subject, there he is trolling after me and posting something right after me, no matter the subject and almost no matter what I'd said about it. That's how it's been with this guy for several months since the first day I came to E. Pathetic behavior if you ask me. I don't follow him around harassing him. I never have. Rather, I try to ignore him. I don't actually know what he posts these days since he's on my ignore list, but I do observe him seeking me out everywhere I go and that his posts are always right after mine. Is he obsessed with me? Buzz off guy. I'm not into you. And no, that is not directed to Melrich whom I like. The party I'm referring to knows who he is.

My preference for younger women is a reaction to a fair portion of them preferring me or other guys my age. I then also oberved that many younger women are very intelligent, some are smarter than I am, and I'm pretty darn smart. Some of them are also very mature and capable. I just recently met a 26 year old lady with a law degree. She's no helpless 2 year old. I also know three other young ladies in their early and mid twenties who are literally certified geniuses. I totally respect them. I don't think they'd appreciate being compared to a 2 year old. Actually, it's the extra smart younger ladies who I like best and often they are the ones who like me best. Not always, but reasonably often. I think part of the attraction for me is respect for their brains and appreciation for the fact that they usually don't have grudges against men like some women my age and older do. So I'm not being gigged for something some other guy or ex-husband did in the past that I had nothing to do with. Also, women my own age very often think I'm to young or immature for them. They typically like men at least 5 years older than me, and often much older. So look at my situation. Women my age usually not usually interested in me, or married, or divorced with teenage kids. I'm not ready to be a father to a teenager until after I get some experience being a father to younger kids. Younger women often interested in me, may or may not have kids, but if they do they are younger kids whom I can easily bond with. Add to that how mentally impressive and accomplished some younger women are, plus I find many of them to be very sweet people with wonderful personalities. In conclusion, they're also darn good looking. Why wouldn't I want them, especially if it's mutual? I say all of the above with respect for women of all ages, zero guilt, and no apology for liking younger women. I owe that confidence to my local platonic lady friends who are younger, my age, and older all the way to 80. Everyone of them told me age-gap relationships are fine if we like each other and treat each other with respect.

While I start out shy with women, I do eventually start getting comfortable and then watch out. My fomerly semi-mute tongue starts getting looser. I can actually become rather interesting and affectionate. I think it's fun to have the other person wondering what in heck you're going to say next. That requires variety and spontinaety. Sometimes it's fun to spontaneously string them together into the longest sentence possible for a GF. To do this spontaneously, it's necessary to just say what comes to mind and rolls off the tongue without to much regard for PC. thereforeeee, I might say baby or other words I don't normally say. For example: "Hi honey, baby, sweetie pie, super duper hottie tottie!" That'd be ideal when handing her a hot tottie. For a shapely GF: "You're my beautiful, boobalicious, bubble butt, baby." or "you're a double delight" For special occasions like Easter or Valentines Day: "Be my snuggle bunny honey", or just "be my snuggle bunny". The above I made up, the next is a poem by Spike Lee. Baby, baby pleeease (slight pause) Please, please, baby I like things that roll off the tongue and things that trip the tongue. My favorite is making a tongue tripper roll off the tongue while flattering her. Creativity is it's own reward. If she likes it, that's even better. My personal motto is be creative enough to innovate, humble enough to copy, and generous enough to care.

I do not have any personal animosities against anyone. I do occasionally make an objection if some statement seems grossly unfair or insulting to anyone, be it myself or others. However, when I make such an objection, it's an objection to something said or an idea put forth that seems to put others down. I don't like put downs or perceived put downs. If I have ever put anyone down, I apologize. I do not object to any individual person and I wish everyone well. I hope that any disagreements that occurred within this thread can be left within this thread with no hard feelings. I especially hope that no disagreements are carried over to other threads. It should be left here. To Bikjj: I congratulate you on starting a very popular thread, which I think is also informative.

Perhaps I should better explain why I was offended by that joke. She's using a joke to make an analogy that the older person in an age-gap relationship is equivalent to a pedophile, and the younger person is equivalent to an immature, helpless 2 year old. I think that insults both people. That is the analogy she appears to have made. My question is whether she made it accidentally or intentionally. Her joke is the equivalent of making a racial joke and then saying, "No offense intended. It's just a joke." Except in this case, the butt of the joke is age-gap couples. Does this better explain why I find the joke offensive? OK, I won't mention this again and I might moderate it substantially or delete it depending on response.

I don't see the humor. I don't think anyone in this thread posted anything inappropriate that I saw. I don't think that there is any justification for using the word "pedophiles" in an age-gap thread where nothing of the kind was said. The moderator is going to allow that? Maybe I just don't get your joke? Maybe you didn't mean it that way? Am I missing something here? I just observed that 11-15-2006 to 11-16-2006 is the International Day of Tolerance. Could we show some tolerance for age-gap couples? Some sensitivity? If I misunderstood you, then I will apologize and delete or moderate this post. If I did understand you correctly, then perhaps you should apologize? What was your explicit and implicit intent of your post? Do you see how someone might interpet it negatively?

I didn't mean that you are planning to have sex with him. I think he's the one with the plans. It sounded like he is pressuring you. That's how I read it. Apparently others thought so to since they said he sounds like a player. I only meant to be supportive of you by saying that you don't owe him anything, not even a kiss, unless you want to. He sounds pushy to me. My only meaning is that I'm supportive of your rights and I don't like a pushy guy. I'm on your side.

In your original thread starting post, you addressed it to the ladies. So I think the guys are just reading, but not posting, which is what I've been doing (up til now). I suggest going back and editing your original thread start post to invite guys to participate with the ladies. Ladies or lady is the term I most commonly use, sometimes woman, and often her name if an indidvidual lady known to me. Why does it seem that men invent the pet names most known to the public and then women accept or veto them? Ladies, start inventing some new ones and laying them on the guys without asking us. Something we never heard before. Actually, this thread should also include pet names women call men, shoudn't it? How about "stud" for one. I've been called that a time or two, but it embarrasses me because I know I'm not deserving. After all, I've always been rather shy with women. That's not stud behavior. However, I do appreciate the thought behind it when I occasionally hear it. One of my Xs called me "babe". It seemed weird at first since she was older than me, but I started liking it because I took it in the spirit that she intended it, which was what CarnelianButterfly said (babe = hot stuff). FYI - years ago "babe" meant "hot stuff" and just as many women as men used the term "babe" in the early 90s. At least that's how I remember it. Later, another GF called me a "babe" and I liked it right off because I was pretrained to like it. I will happily call a woman babe if she calls me that first, or if she's a GF I might test the water and try "babe" once and observe her reaction. When I say "babe", I mean "hot stuff". I don't think I've ever called anyone "baby" and I don't much like it when women call me that. I had an X who called me "baby" and I learned to like it from her because she meant it affectionately. Intentions count a lot with me. However, my initial gut reaction to "baby" is negative because my mom used to call me or my sister "baby" in a nasty, sneering way when she was berating us. I like to call close women friends and/or a GF "sweetie". Some of my friends call me that. I'm rather fond of "sweetie" given or received by lady friends or GF. I think "honey" is another good one, but not usually for a friend. Also, "honeys" and "sweeties" as in "Wow. Look at those honeys!" or "Look at that honey" (said when seeing a beautiful woman, but said quietly enough so she doesn't hear me). Also, said to a lady I know well and have some type relationship with: "You're a honey". Also, "you're a sweetie". "You're a sweetie and a honey." "Thanks, sweetie." FYI - the context of my use of "honey" and "honeys" means "hot stuff" to me. My use of "sweetie" and "sweeties" means a sweet personality. So a lady who is a "sweetie and a honey" is as good as they come. Generally, I stick to "sweetie", but variety can be nice. However, I only say those that I think are polite, affectionate, respectful, and appropriate according to context. Sometimes it's fun to try to use a different one each and everytime with a GF. A fun game. Whoever repeats first loses the game. "Shorties" is a new one to me I just heard yesterday. I'm thinking some ladies might not like that, but maybe some might. It does make me laugh a lot and sounds cute to me, but I probably won't be calling anyone a shorty. Not even if she's a sweet shorty, or a short honey, or a honey sweet shorty, or a short'n'sweet honey. But I'll be thinking it thanks to this thread. What's wrong with "gal"? Miss M told me that's not appreciated by some women. Bless Miss M because she is a sweetie and was being helpful to me. However, I don't understand. Isn't "gal" just the female equivalent to "guy"? What's wrong with that? I do try to avoid saying "girl" or "girls" whenever I can remember. I don't want to be disrespectful. However, so many women of all ages call themselves "girls" that after talking to a lady (almost said gal) who calls herself a girl, it's really easy for "girl" to start coming out of my mouth. Likewise, a lot of women call themselves "chick" which is contagious because once a guy hears a peep call herself a chick, he tends to think it's OK with her, and maybe OK in general. Whoops.

I think it's socially fine. Don't worry about that. Most people wouldn't care. If anyone did care, so what? Envy might be the most likely response of others. Experience levels don't need to be equal. A difference might even be exciting for both people. Don't over analyze this. Do you like each other? Are you attracted to each other? If yes to both, then it doesn't matter what anyone else says. Follow your heart. It could prove to be a very sweet and loving relationship with or without sex. If considering sex, then consider this: sexually, I think it'd be dynamite. Think about it. He's in his prime and will be for about 5 more years and you are just entering your prime and you will be at your peak for the next 10 to 15 years. I notice that your name is ShyGirl. I'm a bit shy myself, but becoming less so. However, I'd like to point out that my shyness is limited to women I'm attracted to and no one else. I am interested in hearing other's opinions, but no one outside my closest friends is important enough to determine my behavior. What I'm trying to say is this: Gather opinions, but in the end, only the opinion of you, the guy, and those closest to you in your life matters. The rest of us may contribute our opinions since you asked, but none of us can or should tell you what to do. You decide. Be true to yourself.

Sorry things didn't work out. You never know until you try. Forget that guy. There's always other guys and it sounds like you already found one. Don't let one bad experience sour you on meeting people at work. It might be great next time, or some time.

The building I spend most of my time in at work is a very elegant building. A couple years ago we had a wedding there where two of my coworkers who met at work got married there on their day off. Their families, friends, coworkers, and many customers were in attendance. Several other coworkers date each other, though at work they act like "just friends" and coworkers so you can't tell they're dating to look at them when they are on duty. However, if you see them in the parking lot after work, it becomes obvious that they are dating. It can work. On the other hand, there have been a couple people who had a problem with it because they didn't act professional while on duty. They flirted excessively when getting along and fought the rest of the time. So management made their shifts never cooincide again. End of problem. At both places where I work, there is no written policy about dating coworkers. Only policies against harassment and to be professional at work. Our employer feels that employees are free people, not slaves and it's not management's business what they do when off duty. They do however need to be professional when on duty and when on the premises. i.e. - no making out on breaks because you're still on the premises. That's it. Well, I might add one thing. If they had a policy against it, I would ignore that policy. They won't know who you're dating if you act platonic and professional at work, which you should anyway.

Your post is well informed and I mostly agree. However, I'd like to respectfully disagree with a couple things. US society has loosened up a lot in the last 10 to 15 years. I do know many younger gals in their 20s who show no interest in me, or likely any middle age guy. However, I also know many who don't care about age, and a few who even prefer older men. My best friend is a 31 year old woman who's told me many times that she prefers older men. I said really? Then she said, "Yes, but you're not old enough for me." I'm 38. She told me she likes guys from 45 to 50 and she's serious because she's dated a couple of them since I've known her. I recently met another gal who looked 23, but turned out to be 28. She is beautiful, smart, successful, and a local professional woman. I wanted to ask her out, but she told me she has a boyfriend. I met him. He is 47. I'm in the middle, halfway between their ages. So I know darn well that many USA women don't care about age and some prefer older men. The gals who like me are typically 24 to 26. The gals my own age seldom pay me any attention because they usually prefer older guys, typically 5 to 10 years older and sometimes much more. However, I do agree with you that the age-gap relationships in the USA are typically kept within closer age differences than in the rest of the world. I think it's typically within 15 years in the USA. Within 10 years is considered similar-age in the USA, according to what I've read in several places. Outside the USA, I think that 15 to 20 year gaps are common. Regardless of local norms, I think people should be free to be with who they want.

When you said "whenever", maybe he thought you said "whatever", or maybe that's how he perceived it. I didn't hear your voice inflexion or see your body language. I wasn't there so I couldn't begin to know what happened. I can only guess. Some guys like a challenge and your casual demeaner of indifference would turn them on as a challenge. Nothing short of a restraining order or pepper spray is going to make a guy like that stop hitting on you. I have a guy friend like that. He likes a challenge. I don't want to be like him, but I do find it highly entertaining to watch him succeed or fail. On the other hand, myself and many other guys would interpret indifference, or perceived indifference, as indifference and we'd give up and move on. In fact, I recently did that when a gal was being indifferent to me. The next time I went back to the club where she works, my best friend (woman) was with me. The indifferent gal started acting jealous, according to my friend. I didn't notice since I'm now ignoring her. I didn't even want to go back there, but my friend insisted. My friend likes the music there, plus I think she wanted to mess with the other gal a bit. My friend was acting like my date that night, which she was not. My friend doesn't like me that way, but I think she was making a point to the other gal. Anyhow, I interpret indifference as not interested. i.e. - if she's very casual about everything, especially compliments, then I'd think she's not interested and I'm giving up right there and then. On the other hand, on those occasions when I was given a number, I waited 4 to 5 days to call because I don't want to look desperate. My friends have told me a guy should call on the 4th or 5th day because it's not to soon, or to late. So maybe this guy will yet call you. However, what kind of guy would show off like that in front of his friends by complimenting you, getting your number, etc? A player. I think a sincere guy would want some privacy, not an audience. Maybe you're better of if this guy doesn't call you.