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CarnelianButterfly

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Everything posted by CarnelianButterfly

  1. CarnelianButterfly
    I don't like tongue piercings, nipple, or southern ones either, I think they look tacky. Eyebrows are a little odd, but I don't mind them. Nose and ears are great as long as its studs and earrings, I don't like the tube things or disks.
  2. CarnelianButterfly
    You yourself even acknowledge it as being manipulative, the "perception" that you are what they want is what I think is wrong. You don't try to match someone and coerce them with the idea that like goes to like. You are what they want or change to be that way for good not just to get them back. You need to want to be that way for the reason that you agree with it not because someone else likes those qualities. You say you were with out backbone before, HOW IS THIS ANY DIFFERENT? You are just molding yourself into their ideal, not remaining true to yourself. If you really want to win someone back, look at yourself first and try self-improvement, being a better person and finding and working on the qualities of yourself that YOU want to improve. You want to be happy then you can't deny yourself who you really are, placating someone trying to be their ideal mate will only leave you striving for some unobtainable goal. Pavlov's dog is the first thing I think of reading this. You ring a bell and she jumps on your crotch? This is highly manipulative and I would be offended to know my boyfriend had "embedded commands" in me to illicit desired responses. Why not build a robot, that would save you the trouble of dealing with all those little personality quirks like free will or emotion. Better yet why not just get a puppy, they're pliable and easy to manipulate, oh wait I mean embed commands. What, we go for the Ninja love moves, very nice. So now you suggest a daily regime of brainwashing your partner into to being your slave, what ever happened to doing things for yourself? OR Why not just say please? OR Better yet, get your butt up off the sofa and put some clothes on? Why cheapen love to a process, would it even be love then? Would you really like to tell your kids the story of how you won their Mom back to involve things like "covert influence" and "embedded commands"? How romantic.
  3. CarnelianButterfly
    I think manipulating someone into coming back to you will just compound previous problems and make matters worse. Image a year down the road when the shine has worn off and that person comes to the realization they've been in a constant state of manipulation and you're the culprit, they aren't going to find it endearing, they will most likely hate you forever. Those techniques can work for a short time only and the real strength of a realtionship comes from two people working together and caring for each other, not one party tricking the other into doing crap for them and essentially being subverted and mind ****ed. Pickup artists can excel with this junk because their goals are short term, if you want a lasting and happy partnership try being caring and not just pretending you care.
  4. CarnelianButterfly
    serenity, Its sad to say, but sometimes people who have problems will use someone to help them get through a rough spot and when they're better dump the one person who has done so much for them. Its not always intentional and may not be malicious, they hurt and reach out for what ever comfort they can. You need to be strong, you're a good person to help him and care for him. It may help to spend some time away from him, not putting yourself in situations where he can hug you or make contact. He's still holding on to you, if you cut him off completely then he'll know what he's really given up.
  5. CarnelianButterfly
    My first week was pretty crappy too. I was depressed and tired. My second week has been much better. I try to make new friends by smiling and being friendly during class. Look for study budies, some of my best friends started out as classmates. Its going to be lonely for a little while and not living in the dorms will make it a little harder to meet people, but you can still have fun. Try talking to people who sit near you before class. A lot of times people are just as lonely as you are and will like the chance to make a new friend.
  6. CarnelianButterfly
    I'm not ridiculing you, I'm just saying see things from her point of view. Maybe she didn't agree with how you treated him.
  7. CarnelianButterfly
    Were you yelling or did you try to really express yourself calmly and tell him that you want to be with him. Did you tell him why you left or did you just tell him you had enough and left?
  8. CarnelianButterfly
    You dumped someone just for an effect and you expect to be treated like you're the victim? That's not how it works. If your friend knew you were dumping him for that reason then I totally agree with her in supporting him. You are treating her boyfriend's brother very poorly and as she is still with the brother his feelings are most likely important to her. When you dumped him, did you tell "this is just temporary"? In all honesty who really wants to be jerked around like that? Its not a game, he has feelings too, and dumping him for an effect is not respecting him.
  9. CarnelianButterfly
    Did you dump him?
  10. CarnelianButterfly
    For me over 20 would be way too many, but thats because of my views on sex. I don't think its important as how many, but how significant each person was. I would be offended if the partners were not important and were just one night stands or bed-buddies. Age is also a factor too, the older the person the more sex partners they will have. Sex has a strongly emotional value to me and I would only be willing to be with someone who I knew shared that view. I also have a lot of health concerns as well, I have a minor in stastics and I'm well aware of the numbers the US has for STIs. Sex in this day is a high risk activity and even with condoms the risk of exposure to disease increases with each sexual act. I would rather be healthy and happy for a long life, then have one night of fun and get something that could kill me.
  11. CarnelianButterfly
    Bite her foot and end up a snake splat... Kidding aside that was wonderful.
  12. CarnelianButterfly
    This all sounds like just a passive aggressive way to control her. She may not be showing off, its summer, its hot, skin exposure helps cool the body. You should looking into seeing a counselor, you aren't going to be able to change these issues on your own, you sound like you have some serious problems beyond just t-shirts and skin. Did you ever think she's wearing them for you?
  13. CarnelianButterfly
  14. CarnelianButterfly
    Maybe because she was hot, I wear clothing that I don't like the looks I get, but I'm not frying because I'm completely covered. Her wordrobe doesn't need to change just because her relationship satus has.
  15. CarnelianButterfly
    You are be controlling, if you bring up things like this all the time, I would get mad. How are you concerned? What is it that makes you so worried, another guy might look at her? She doesn't have to listen to you, if you don't like, then why are you still dating her?
  16. CarnelianButterfly
    She has every right to chose what she wears. You are her boyfriend not her owner, or her dictator, or her parent. T-shirts do get hot and most women sweat a lot around their breasts and lower cut shirts allow more air movement. What changes has she asked of you, has she asked you to make yourself physically uncomfortable all day long because its more respectable?
  17. CarnelianButterfly
    What happens the next time he's not arround? How do you know you're not going to cheat again?
  18. CarnelianButterfly
    Women have been socially conditioned for many generations to conceal their sexual appetites. There have even threads on here on how acceptable a guy thinks it is for a woman to want sex the first date. There is still a stigma associated with women having a high sex drive and being as sexually aggressive as men. It very much tempers the way we act in dating situations. There are women who don't conform to this pattern, but there are a lot that do. Religion and upbringing have a great impact on how sexually open a woman will be with a man while she is getting to know him. There are some women who view sex is recreational and engage in it indiscriminately and with little importance to the act beyond it being pleasurable and fun, these women will most likely not be discrete about their desires and will show how much they want sex. Then there are women who place a high emotional value on sex and see it as a time of intimacy and bonding, these women will not be as readily willing to have sex in the early stages on a relationship unless they feel they are with someone who cares for them. This woman once she becomes sexually active with her partner can go two ways, 1) continue to conceal her arousal and conform to societal pressures or 2) she may view the intimacy as a way to be open about her true nature which is just as sexual as men. However, neither behavior pattern is a true indication of sexual drive. Women have as varied sexual drives as men, but because of the way women are socialized there is no litmus test to give you a true answer as to whether she will have a high or low sex drive. That means you still have to get to know the woman and not think there is any easy answer like “sex on first date = sex all the time”. Women or men for that matter are all different, you have to base your decisions on the individual and their actions and preferences not some generalization you formulate.
  19. CarnelianButterfly
    Who told you he had sex with other people? Have you spoken with him about this? You need to talk to him, I know at your age, gossip about sex is the hottest thing and its usually a lot of bunk. If it is true... Something as significant as that is a big lie. He could have STIs or still be messing around, who knows, if he is willing to lie about something that important I would say there is a lot to be questioned.
  20. CarnelianButterfly
    I think that sounds like a good plan, if they call you out on it be prepared to be a little uncomfortable. I've had people want to gossip and say nasty crap and I've flat out said not in front of me. They can be nasty about it, but if you stand your ground and make it clear that its not interesting and you don't care they'll eventually get the picture. I say eventually, because it can take a while to get through.
  21. CarnelianButterfly
    Well, when you have sex the cervix will take a lot of pressure depending on how vigorous it is. The cervix is thickened by the hormones in BC, which is part of the simulated pregnancy, when you are on the blanks the cervix will thin and just needs time to breach and menstrual fluid pass before your period actually begins. Pap smears and other probing of the cervix are known to cause periods to start early since it ruptures the membrane.
  22. CarnelianButterfly
    Guys gossip, I hear most of the gossip around my school from men! I don't spread it though, I prefer to be impartial and take every thing I hear with a grain of salt. Unless an individual tells me something specifically I'm not going to hold any gossip info against them. So please don't say all women are drama queens and gossips, its really a poor way to start off asking for advice by insulting half of your audience. As for what to do, don't hang out with them. You are responsible for choosing your friends, if you don't think someone is of friend material don't hang out with them. Simple.
  23. CarnelianButterfly
    I'm in a field where there are very few women, less than 20%. There was a new girl in the department, she was very pretty and friendly. None of the guys would talk to her. They would all talk about "The Red Head" and how hot she was and how much they enjoyed watching her. I talked to her and got to know her, she was a very fun person, but was SOO lonely because none one would talk to her. I was with my guy friends at dinner one night and they kept going on about "The Red Head" this, "The Red Head" that, and on and on, I got so angry I yelled at them "SHE HAS A NAME!!!" They had reduced her to some show piece and it was so horrible for them to be talking about a person like that. They still don't talk to her and its been about 2 years, I personally think they're all a bunch of little boys.
  24. CarnelianButterfly
    Every time I see a motorcycle, a tall guy, or pet a dog I think of my guy. Just about every thing I see reminds me of him, I miss him, but I'm happy to think about him and can't wait till the next time we talk.
  25. CarnelianButterfly
    My doc has decided that since I had such a bad time with the creams that any time I'm on antibiotics I get a script for Diflucan too, just in case. I felt worse after starting the OTC stuff, it got rid of the yeast but I had some serious problems, it was like my vagina shed all the tissue along the cannel, I was in a lot of pain. I kinda wished I just toughed it out. I drink cranberry juice every day (helps maintain a good pH) and I'm very careful about washing.
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