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CarnelianButterfly

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Everything posted by CarnelianButterfly

  1. CarnelianButterfly
    I would have to go with "no" on that... I don't think there is any way you could have a valid reason to betray the person you have told you loved.
  2. CarnelianButterfly
    BMI, weight, and many other factors are all part of being healthy. You have to look at cholesterol, heart rate, blood pressure, liver functions, white cell count, blood oxygen levels... Having a BMI below 18.5 is unhealthy too, being too thin can cause heart failure, anemia, weak muscles, osteoporosis, kidney failure, and many other problems. Society pressures people to be thin and making any body fat out as bad, but fat is there for a purpose and all the emphasis on being thin they neglect to mention how unhealthy it is. There is so much said that being overweight is unsexy because its a sign of being unhealthy, but those supposedly beautiful models that are 5'10" and 115lbs have a BMI of 16.5, don't be surprised if they don't menstruate, have fine body hair, yellowing skin and nails, bruise easily, and aren't able to do much than put on make up and make a couple trips down the run way.
  3. CarnelianButterfly
    You can be healthy and overweight, look at the guys that lift weights for a living. They're highly overweight, but their body fat levels are low and they are healthy. You can't assume that weight and attractiveness are the only factor in sex appeal, there are many people who are not constrained to the modern sense of beauty as being stick thin. In actuallity, thin women are at risk for as many health issues, thinness doesn't mean healthy either.
  4. CarnelianButterfly
    Role playing is only fun when it involves dice. The whole thing about we all have roles and a place is so old and tired, we're people, we have minds of our own and can think beyond some cave man construct. I don't test my significant other, he's a person not a lab rat, he has his own life, goals and character. We get along together because we are open and honest with each other, not because we've ranked well on the latest round of emotional examinations.
  5. CarnelianButterfly
    I consider him a jerk because he barely acknowledges her except to try to get in her pants. He's using her. To me, men that only want sex are jerks, expecially if they try to get it thru methods like this one is using.
  6. CarnelianButterfly
    He could be socially deprived. A family friend of mine has taught kindergarten for many years now, she's had some very interesting behavioral problems with some kids. She had one little girl that only knew how to verbalize songs from the radio, she hadn't been socialized enough that she understood talking and communication if it wasn't signing. The teacher started singing to the little girl and she started learning, she slowly developed the ability to talk, but would always revert back to the sing song way if she was stressed. If its something similar to that, the teacher really should have seen that and not just skipped on to the next child. It shounds like they aren't really doing their job taking care of all the kids. Being at day care maybe the only time people interact with him.
  7. CarnelianButterfly
    This guy sounds like a jerk. He wants to have sex just to use you for sex. If he can't take the time to talk to you except to say "come to my place so I can try to score" Hes not worth it. Tell him NO flat out. It won't be rude, it won't be wrong, you have the right to expect to be treated well and not like sex on tap.
  8. CarnelianButterfly
    I think there's a program called NetNanny or something similar.
  9. CarnelianButterfly
    Don't put it off or you'll regret never asking.
  10. CarnelianButterfly
    You like the guy, ask him out, if he's not mature enough to date a girl he likes that doesn't meet the approval of his friend then that his tough luck. You're not on display, his roomie has no right to judge you, if he does tell him exactly that.
  11. CarnelianButterfly
    Was her father seriously ill before he died? If she felt a lot of stress from family that's what could have caused some of the problems. Also, her father died and she had that stress added too, she does have a right to be unhappy, a member of her family is dead. She sounds like she has some issues with depression and maybe counseling could help, but either way she may not be ready to be in a relationship if she doesn't have her own life together.
  12. CarnelianButterfly
    I wash my face with Clearasil and use a light liquid cleanser by Estee Lauder. Anything more and I get dry skin.
  13. CarnelianButterfly
    Its sounds like the guy your interested in has a more open mind to the question of looks vs personality, he just happens to have a jerk for a roommate.
  14. CarnelianButterfly
    If I'm not required to succeed then who is going to pay my bills? I'm not going to get married and have kids just so some man can fill an antiquated roll. I have to take care of myself. We all have to take care of ourselves no matter our sex. Men can stay home and care for the children they however don't because they give into the societal pressures that because they aren't VPs or millionaires they failed. Not everyone thinks like that (THANK GOODNESS), there are people in this world that place value on ideas and talents and not things and money. gersanos: You make a great point about how its a system set up by white Christian males, it really is a system that isn't necessarily conducive to women or people not fitting that standard. I read an article recently that was examining the path professor must take, the system is really set up such that a man can succeed more easily because he has someone doing every thing outside his office work, that someone generally being a wife. Single men and women, have a much more difficult time because they have all of the load of home and office on them. Nor is the system accepting of pregnancy, especially sciences, I've heard from many women that when they started showing were treated like they became stupid instead of becoming pregnant.
  15. CarnelianButterfly
    Then don't worry about looking for a person to settle with. I'm not interested in settling either, it doesn't mean I can't enjoy a meaningful relationship though. Mr/Ms Right Now doesn't mean they are vapid or disposable, they just may not be the person you're with 10 years from now. Relationships not bounded by expecting marriage, kids, long commitments and such are usually more able to grow, the partners may grow apart, but they could grow closer.
  16. CarnelianButterfly
    She obviously going to keep doing this to you. The fact you've been married only a short while and she had sex with another man suggests she probably got married to have a "safe" guy to fall back on. She's putting you at risk to, having unprotected sex with others and not telling you could cause you trouble with STDs and not to mention jealous lovers hanging around. She needs to grow up and start living her own life and not trying to be someone else. Dump her and don't let her guilt you into to taking her back. She'll become the sweetest person and try to get you to stay, don't fall for it, be stone.
  17. CarnelianButterfly
    As the person is your ex there is something that made the two of you incompatible as a couple. If she was the person meant for you, you would still be together, that said, she should not be the standard you hold all other women to because she is obviously not right for you as a mate. Looking at each women as an individual, her positives and negatives, decide on what she is like as a whole person and not rank her against a check list from your ex. Be open to new people as just that new and different, each chance is a fresh start. Don't let your ex taint each relationship you have but continually superimposing her on the other woman.
  18. CarnelianButterfly
    The scholarships we were looking at all have very rigorous approval processes and require that you have excellent grades. It's not just because you're a woman you get it, its that only women are considered and the best will get it. I know the women who have received some of the funding, they are hands down exceptional.
  19. CarnelianButterfly
    I do think there should be more male nurses, I've know several and they were wonderful nurses. But there is still a societal view that nursing is not a “male” profession as engineering is not a “female” profession. My University actively recruits men to the nursing school, but society makes it hard for men to feel comfortable as nurses because of the feminine or gay connotation. Its these views that are what the incentives and encouragement scholarships and funding for minorities are for. Women are given equal opportunity, but socially it is still not encouraged. Outreach programs that steer women to these programs found that by the time girls reach high school they are already being discouraged to be intelligent, math savvy, science and logic minded. Look at the stereotypes of women, they paint females as illogical, emotional and passive, which are traits not consistent with science or mathematics. Society wants male students to be aggressive and participate in sports, but look at how many derogatory terms there are for intelligent people, geek, dweeb, nerd, book worm, and so on. So even men are discouraged from being smart or bookish, now address how it is for a women to be smart. At that age value is placed heavily on looks and social status, popularity makes being smart not as important as being pretty. So the girls strive to be popular, every one wants attention and friends, so they shift their energies from school and being the best to being fashionable and attractive.
  20. CarnelianButterfly
    I am a female student in a engineering school. In my school there are 212 graduate students both master's and Phd programs. Of those 212 students 29 are women, that's 13.7%, far below what it should be, 50%. Over all the college of engineering, the numbers are a little better of the 2125 students 396 are female (18.6%). What's the point of this? There are scholarships that are only offered to women that are entering the graduate program or are working on a thesis in the hard science, mathematics, and engineering, several are full tuition and monthly stipend funding. There are 5 women in my research group, 2 Phd, 3 MS, we have in the past discussed funding with each other on a regular basis, telling each other what's offered, who has a tougher process and so on. We discuss not just the women only funds but scholarships in general. The 2 PhD students and I were all talking about funding specifically for women in PhD programs; I'm starting my PhD next year. At the time we were in their office with the door cracked. Our professor's office is down the hall so you need to pass our office to get to hers. One of the guy's in the group was passing by and stopped to say how outrageous and unfair it was that we could get funding that was based on us being female. He thought it was sexist and wrong, he was nearly irate that we were even talking about it. He thought it was rude for us to even be bragging that he couldn't get the funding. He was never mentioned, it was a private conversation, and considering how few women are in academia where we are it is more that justified that there are incentives to break through. This guy has in the past made it clear that he has issues with any woman showing interest in feminism or activities for women. He resents that the women in our research group have dinner together with other women from the school, but make it so that it's a women only event. Is it wrong that a minority sticks together and takes care of each other? Is wrong that we have time were we can be women together and talk about women centric topics, conversations that would be squelched or laughed at by men? We are a minority and certain organizations offer us funding, that does not mean we do any less work or we have privileges in the program. None of the funding is given without going through approval processes, which are not trivial.
  21. CarnelianButterfly
    He's endangering his wife's health too because he still has sex with her too. The difference between sleeping with a hooker and looking at porn is that porn doesn't give you infections that you can spread to every one else you sleep with.
  22. CarnelianButterfly
    I know a guy that really likes me, he has no chance though because I know he's slept with prostitutes. He's "dirty", so are most men that have had one night stands, over 10 sex partners, and such.
  23. CarnelianButterfly
    If you live in someone else's house then you are subject to their rules. Preserving your relationship with your mother will mean you need to look at things from how she might see them. Getting your tongue pierced, staying out late, not going to college, these all are situations that put your future at risk. The tongue piercing could give you an infection, damage your teeth, and cause nerve damage in your mouth. Staying out late, means coming home late, which means you could very well be waking the whole house hold by your late arrival (my Mom is a light sleeper so she hears every socked footstep or gently shut door). Making sure you get an education is her way of making sure you will be able to get a good job and take care of yourself. Don't confuse concern with being treated like a child, she's acting out of love and protection for you. Maybe you can talk to her about paying rent and getting more privileges then she can make sure you go to school and let you live a little less restricted.
  24. CarnelianButterfly
    Why did you date him in the first place then?
  25. CarnelianButterfly
    How is sitting up straight or walking with a different stride going to make his children feel any less animosity for the fact their father is sleeping with a hooker? How is that going to make the fact that he betrayed the family and wife he promised to love and care for? You want change, you've got to stop being so selfish and look at the fact that there is a family that is your responsibility. They are your children, a part of you is in them, not caring for them is not caring for yourself. Let your family fall apart for a woman who won't even kiss you, throw away the lives of every one you were supposed to care for for a hooker, sounds exciting and sexy doesn't it.
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