ElektraHere

You know Yvette

Check out the questions you have posted in the last month or two. They almost all relate to this guy and if this is normal or that is normal. I hope it works for you but the reality is this is a clear long shot.

RayKay:

I've heard ypur opinion one too many times. And I don't care what you think about the situation honestly. We DO see each others quirks, we HAVE spoken to each other after a stressful day or a bad mood and we HAVE seen how we handle conflict!!! I told you we talk ALL the time!!! we have gone through those things and seen both sides of each other. Please don't make assumptions because you really have no idea how are relationship REALLY is.

Ok here are the lemons within the last two years:

1 death of a close loved one

4 "its not you it's me" speeches

1 firing from a job

1 job that sucks lemons

1 bank account that if lemons were a commoditey I would be well off however I am not so looking at my account makes my face pucker like I just sucked on a lemon.

Yes, people are alot different than a photo or video.

well if he is moving to you he wont have friends or family. What are his favorite hobbies? Does he like to spend time alone? I think this is sooo risky to move out without even meeting.

Could you both just be so caught up in this that you are clouding your judgement. I just flew out to meet someone I was speaking to online. We clicked like crazy. Had an awesome time, however he did some thinking and he just wasnt ready to give me what I wanted. Him..

So I speak from experience and I wish you the best but the reality of it all is this is placing all your eggs in one basket. Not a good thing.

This is in regards to you and your guy. Do you both have all those other things or just the one box with the one thing in it? If the relationship fails to get off the ground you will have nothing.

Hun you get what you put out. My friends say I seem to aloof or unaware when guys are trying to hit on me or approach me. Then I say the same things as you?? Where are the guys??? They are all around but if you show you are strong, confident, and have boundaries you WILL attract those guys.

You have some skeletons you need to throw out of your closet. You have to start believing in yourself. You REALLY need to STOP letting your mom walk all over you and wiping her feet on you. Enough is Enough!! If she doesnt quit i would really evaluate is it worth being around her?? I know she is yor mother but come on you need to set her straight.

RW

I just posted this on another post but thought you might find it interesting.

Ok a good friend showed me this excersice. Here it goes

Draw a box and write RELATIONSHIP in the middle

Draw a tic, tac, toe board and then connect the outside borders so its in a box.

Now write in each box the following

Hobby

Personal Growth

Leisure

Family

Friends

Service

Contribution

Alone Time

Relationship

Now in the the big box with the word RELATIONSHIP cross it out

and

In the multiple boxes cross out relationship

So......

The big box represents what you have if that is all you have is a relationship....Nothing

If you look at the other box yes you may not have a relationship but you have all the other things.

Hobby

Personal Growth

Leisure

Family

Friends

Service

Contribution

Alone Time

Ok a good friend showed me this excersice. Here it goes

Draw a box and write RELATIONSHIP in the middle

Draw a tic, tac, toe board and then connect the outside borders so its in a box.

Now write in each box the following

Hobby

Personal Growth

Leisure

Family

Friends

Service

Contribution

Alone Time

Relationship

Now in the the big box with the word RELATIONSHIP cross it out

and

In the multiple boxes cross out relationship

So......

The big box represents what you have if that is all you have is a relationship....Nothing

If you look at the other box yes you may not have a relationship but you have all the other things.

Hobby

Personal Growth

Leisure

Family

Friends

Service

Contribution

Alone Time

RW

You are too obssessed with this. You should focus on you right now. Look at yourself and who you are right now. Now place all that in a male. Would you want to date him? I would highly doubt it. However, if a guy came to you who was self assured, had boundaries, and had their own life and wanted someone to share it with. Now you probably would go for that in an instant.

Well you have some tweaking you need to do. Then you can attract those type people.

Honestly you are easy prey for someone who is out for someone to manipulate. I hope you really really take this time and FOCUS AND STRENGTHEN YOU!!!!!

Man or woman NC sucks all around. Its hard, it hurts, and it is a test of ones will.

They say it is for your own benefit, I find that true however I sometimes find myself thinking of the only ifs. (sigh)

Stick to your guns, be strong, and it will get easier.

Female,

Could be that first meeting or after a few months. Depends on the attraction and if you both are really into that moment. Although ssex to me is about sharing the most intimate part of yourself. That is when the true you comes out.

I think I would forgo something in the wedding if it meant peace of mind right now. I am so sorry to hear about this and yes he did do the right thing. You should be very proud of him for that. Don't burden yourself with the negative thoughts of being mad at his friends. He doesnt need that stress nor do you. Let that go for right now and try to get a flight to see him.

Clingy = BAD BAD BAD oh yes and BAD!!!

independence + self worth = HAPPY HAPPY GOOD GOOD

Ok I posted this once and pulled it off. I wrote this while at work but it is about well you can interpret it any way you want.

Little girl your smile is so bright

Your eyes are full of love and life

Little girl your laugh is endless

The sound is musical and so infectious

Little girl your dreams are many

They are never ending and they are a plenty

Little girl oh little girl wait where are you off to

Will you be gone long or for only a few

Now I am alone to only see

An older reflection staring back at me

Is that bright eyed little girl ever coming around again

Or was she just a fantastic and glorious apparition

 

I guess I need to work on myself before throwing myself out into the dating arena.

 

Not sure.

RW

You are sure it just is REALLY hard work to clean out those skeletons. Believe me I know. I am rummaging through them now and throwing out alot of old bones.l

Do you have really curly hair. I am sure your hair grows. If you have curls then it will obviously look shorter than someone who has stick straight hair. My one friend had super curly hair and it never seemed to grow either until she would comb it out wet or straighten it. Then it would be super long.

I wouldn't count it as interest perhaps curious or just missing your friendship. Has he recently been through a break up? He could be saying this because he doesn't want to be alone and he has you to fall back on?

Well first off if you find yourself crying all the time because of this b/f then yes something is really wrong. Secondly how old are you and how old is he? Thirdly take it from me guys I dont care how old they are get uncomfortable when a gal cries. They don't know how to react to it. They aren't sure if they should console or concede? So they run or get mad.

Oh yes how long have you been dating this guy?

The Whiskey idea is great but if you are afraid of them breaking, perhaps something else Canadian? A certain candy?

If you do do the whiskey idea place them in tissue paper then double or triple ziploc them. If they did break at least they would be tightly in the ziplocs.

Are you doing this because you really want to or is it because everyone told you to? You and only you can fix whatever is broken within you. It is great to get feedback be it negative or positive. However, you and only you can make that final desicion.

Its good you are trying to get your life back on track. Keep it up and remember focus on you and not that you are alone. Did you ever think that this is the way it is supposed to happen for you right now.

When it rains it pours. I like what Oprah says "God speaks to us in whispers, we really need to listen carefully. If we ignore it he gets louder, if we still ignore it, he screams it to us." Perhaps you are finally hearing what it is you need to focus on. You my dear

You think like that you will be doomed. I am sorry but I am not going to candycoat this. You let what your mother's venomous words penetrate you, your life will be VERY hard for you. I think its time you quit the pity party and rise to the occasion. So your really short and stout, well I am really tall so being short and being tall have advantages and disadvantages.

Come on sister you have let others control your actions, thoughts, and where you should go with your life. TAKE IT BACK! Invest in you!!!

 

 

I am very lonely out here. I want a relationship with someone. But I dont think I am ready for it either.

 

quote]

 

RW

 

I gotta ask why are you staying in Cali when you obviously are miserable? T is not in your life anymore (at least I hope), you dont want to be around your family all that much, and you dont have a job. Why not go back East where you had a life, friends, job, etc?

RW,

Dont feel so bad about. So you didnt fit his type, you cant tell me some guys have never fit your type? I think that you need to put the dating on hold, DO NOT CONTACT T, and let the meds and therapy sink in.

People are cruel and you know what? That is a fact that you will have to face as we all do in our day to day workings.

You need to have a stronger impression of yourself if not you will be in tears constantly. I know I am working on this myself. I have my good days and my bad days.

Give up on the dating for now but not forever.

Hun, do you know he could be in big trouble with the law? This is NOT good. You should be enjoying your teens and not hooking up with someone who is 18.

Just my two cents.