ElektraHere

Did he give you a reason for why he doesnt want to be as close as he was to you before?

Just that he doesnt feel that way towards me and the reason we arent as close is he is busy? So really I dont have a concise answer.

Tyler ~ He doesnt nor didnt feel duped. We were completely honest with each other hense the blabbing to him I had feelings and him telling me the sex between us was just that. There were no false pretenses about this relationship. Unfortunatley I got the ol hook off the stage so to speak.

Thanks so much enotters. I know that it is for the best. I guess what makes it so hard is we have 3000 miles that divide us so even if I did want to see him in person I would have quite the trip to do so.

Scout you are so right I would and do compare my dates to Robert. My friends here think I am a fool for doing that. They are saying I am being overly picky now. I am trying to keep an open mind really I am just he seems to creep in somehow.

I invested alot into this man and friendship. We were on every level insync humor, values, sex everything. I think that is also why it is so hard to let go there was the almighty sexual element. That is an emotional timebomb for me. I take it seriously with that person not just as sex. He on the other hand just thought of it as sex and nothing more. So that is where the hurt comes in.

LadyBugg I do think of him everyday and I think for some reason I will always think of him everyday (especially if I hear any John Mayer songs).

Hi There,

I kick everyones * * * on this site and I think I need a little of it now. I hate how things have ended up for me and I should be happy right now. The positives I am doing well in school, have a great job with a very understanding boss, dating, and just awesome friends.

There is just one element that I can't seem to wrap my arms around...that being I miss my friend Robert. If I could pass any advice on to others DO NOT I repeat DO NOT tell a friend you have feelings for them. It will forever change the relationship you have. I know I kick myself about ever telling him that I had feelings for him. The questions I ask myself is how can I miss someone who doesnt miss me, doesnt return my calls, or even care to respond via email. Someone who says they've been busy and thats why they havent responded. I should be pissed and somedays I am. He got what he wanted on all fronts and I got nothing but the shaft.

So you can see I conflicted with two feelings one of hurt and missing him and the other pissed and wish I had never met him. Things were so awesome between us and then after I told him POOF things went all to hell. I have not contacted him in about 1 week but I havent talked to him in about 2 weeks.

I am not sure what I am asking of you all maybe a bit of * * * kicking, maybe a bit of encouragement, maybe a bit of his loss and my gain?

I don't know that's why I'm posting this.

I have used it in the past and it worked for me. I did not become dependent on it either. I only used it once a day. In the AM I was bad and never washed well I still dont wash my face at night. Avoid the eye area all together. Skin usually becomes worse before it gets better. I would use the product once a day or every other day. Plus if you are using another moisturizer that could be what is throwing everything out of whack.

If you really hate it send it back and try something else.

Then love life and dont worry what the ex has to say or think. I feel for the new girl your dating. I hope you are honest with her (the new gal) and tell her that there is not a chance that you can open your heart to her right now. Be fair to the new girl think of her feelings and not those of your ex.

Please Aggie

Make some decisions for yourself. I notice you post ALOT asking others what they think. It doesnt matter what we think its what you think would be best for yourself.

You may want to go to the bokstore and find a book about self esteem. Someone who constantly fishes for compliments is seeking approval that they shouldnt have to.

I tend to agree with the others. If you go in preening like a peacock you will look more like an * * * then someone who has their sh!t together.

If you bring your new girl you may leave without her. Why you ask? If she sees you acting like a cocky guy and "sticking it" to your ex she will see you are NOT over the ex yet. A little hint for you girls, ladies, women, whathaveyou DO NOT think a "look at me" guy is attractive. We tend to think "what a jerk, he really must have a low self esteem to have to project himself like that."

Why would your cousin invite the ex? Does he not realize how hard this breakup has been for you? I would talk with him and tell him not to invite her or uninvite her. It will be the best thing you can do for yourself.

Aggie - That whole situation is just troubling in itself. As for the OP of this thread get out now. Your situation could be like Rubberducky (please don't take offense) pregnant with your married boyfriends baby. How the heck would you explain to your child how and when you were concieved.

Use that gut instinct you are ignoring and get out now. Save your sanity, self respect, and dignity its not too late.

No two relationships are the same. Be it a love relationship, family relationships, or friendships. There is no barometer that measures how great a relationship is. If you feel and the other person in the relationship feel good about it thats all that matters. The only time outsider opinions matter is when it is detremental ie; abuse, living your life through the other, cheating. Thats when one should listen but other than that do what is right for you and the other person.

YES YES YES YES!!! Its called having his cake and eating it to!

I don't think she is stupid as a person she may have made stupid choices. We all have its being human. I think that she needs to get out and never look back. You know I am sure the daughters know something is up. I can't imagine the tension at home or the mood of the wife. Do you want to put the daughters through all this? They didnt ask for a philandering father.

I guess I am not getting your question Martha? I wasnt trying to be rude just a matter of fact from your previous posts. Because what you are asking is the antithesis of your situation. Is this something that you have been confronted with by people outside your relationship or friends that are saying this?

GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT!!!! This is a no win situation for you. Not only is he married, he has 3 daughters, and he is 19 years older then you. If you think you have a future with this guy you are really kidding yourself. The best thing you can do is chaulk it up as a BIG mistake and move on.

Martha

Interesting post. I can't imagine you are talking about your relationship are you? Unless you have had some dramatic overhaul in the way you think spending every weekend with your b/f is required?

makes perfect sense.

i have told her about everything. i do like this new girl, and i feel she has shown more promise than my ex, and is a lot more mature and better for me. so we are hanging out. she is a good girl and i can see my feelings for her growing. i just think that since i was burned, iam skeptical about women and relationships right now-it wouldnt for me matter how long or who the person was, the pain i went through i never want to feel again.

I know everyone has a certain amounts of baggage they carry. The proverbial carry on is a given but Shamus I see you having a couple steamer trunks right now.

As long as your open with her and she knows where your at in your head about things. Something to think about is she there because of who she is or is she there because you are tired of being alone and you think she will erase the past for you?

I hope that you are that rare diamond out there. I hate to be such a pessimist but when you just last week were torn over your ex this gal will never measure up until she(the ex) is fully out of your heart and your mind. Also if a girl is really attracted to someone and they say "I want to take it slow." Sure the girl will agree but then down the road when she has progressed in her feelings for you and you are still at point A then thats where all the hurt feelings start happening. I would be totally upfront about what it is that your dealing with. I know someone suggested not to be fully open but I would rather know what it was you were skiddish about then just think all is fine and it really isnt.

Does that make sense?

First off if you want to make a move GET OFF THE COMPUTER!!!

Enjoy your company and not the likes of the cyber world.

Let it happen naturally.

Teacup ~

Perhaps you need to focus on why you are so paranoid? This is a fellow student, this is what college is all about. I think that you need to give it a rest and not make such a big deal about this. Like Annie I think stated its all a "Scratch my back, I ll scratch yours." This is so true in college. I know I have been busy in my life outside of class and didnt do the homework my classmate sent me hers so I could get an idea of where to start and was able to pound out a paper. She then needed my notes and I handed them over no questions asked. Sometimes we just need a little help.

Teacup

You have some issues that you need to work out. It seems the people you let in your life are using you (the guys you post about). This gal just sounds like a typical classmate. I have done that myself especially if I missed class for the week. I have asked for notes just as others have with me.

If you dont want to give her your notes then dont but no use in getting angry about nothing.

Come on use some common sense!

I agree with Legend this doesnt seem like a huge problem. With her notes being taken it can happen or perhaps someone came by and threw them away because sometimes notes can look like garbage I know mine do at times. Again if you dont want to give her your notes then don't.

The thing is you may end up hurting this new girl with all the unresolved feelings you have. I was involved with a man who hated but also loved his ex. He said the same things as you I was the person he wished his ex could have been. He broke up with me because he found he still had all these feelings he had to resolve before starting any sort of relationship.

I think that you should be upfront with this new girl. That you still are working through all the baggage of your last relationship. YOu should give her the choice whether she wants to continue even if you end up breaking it off with her because you still cant seem to come to grips with the last break up. Would you want this new girl to feel how you have been feeling lately. I am all for someone to move on but moving on is alot different then someone just filling the space of someone you cant have.

Just my 2 cents.

Well that is good you have fun and happy times. I think him being in denial about his disorder could be the element that could could break him and you. It isnt an easy disease to get over it is something that needs to be taken care of with diligence and commitment. In other words its like a cavity on an already sensitive tooth. If worked on now the tooth can be saved if ignored then the tooth could be damaged beyond repair and have to be extracted.

Just dont push the issue of him being naked that is too much pressure I suspect for him.

I think you should take a look at what thyroxine mentioned. She does the job and she has the inside skinny.

I think that they will tell you what the pay will be. Usually vets are very budget conscious. When they ask you if they ask you say " what is the range you have been offering other candidates."

Just go in with a realistic view of what the job is and what you will be getting paid to do. ie; cleaning kennels etc.

Hi there,

First off there are some people who just will have sex at night because they know it will be dark and there will be no lights. The issues with him seem to be the eating disorder. Did he ever get counseling for it? Eating disorders in men is so rare so they kind of go under the radar when being affected by it.

I wouldnt press it anymore I think that only ads to the pressure and if he is not over the eating disorder this could make it worse. I just hope the two of you are on the road to recovery. A couple with eating disorder issues and depression issues would be a VERY hard uphill battle.

Overall what is your relationship like? Do you have fun together? Do you laugh? Do you think of future goals you both would like to achieve?

Which part of the country do you live in? That is a factor, experience is a factor, what the job entails is a factor, whether the clinic is a big clinic or a small "country" type vet. I would say and this is a guess with no job experience on your part I would say probably $9 tops would be the rate per hour.

First off you have to apply for the job, then have an interview whch then you can ask what you would be doing. As far as I remember about vet asst (my cousins wife does that) you dont help with cleaning the dressings you help with cleaning the poop up. Making sure everything is in order basically no "nursing" would be required of you.

I just realizes that thyroxine said the same thing.