ElektraHere

Ross the "I can'ts, I don't know's" and the rest of the poor excuses you have are a bit repetitive.

Tyler has given you some great advice not only on this thread but on others for you. I think we could talk till we are blue in the face and the end result would be an "I can't" from you.

In America we have a saying "S*** or get off the pot"

I wasnt telling you to go look for a girl. I am saying quit the pity party, get up, and find a job. That is the first and foremost thing you need to do right now. I agree with Rel Coach if you spent your time not here posting after posting and looking for work it would start to look up.

 

I'll be okay, I'll just watch some soaps, drink some beers, order a Chinese and probably be back on here later.

So this will get you where? Where is your motivation? You must either enjoy the place you are in or you have gotten used to it? Come on Ross you are not a teen anymore its time to take responsibility and quit the excuses. "this stops me from doing this" etc. Like Nike says "JUST DO IT!"

Ross I in no way think you have ulterior motives. I am saying in general.

Why are you so afraid to branch out and see what life has to offer? I think the first step would be to work on moving out of your mothers house. That in itself can be a heavy weight that can be lifted. When you have your own place you can make it what you want. That can boost your confidence.

Ok...I don't want to make anyone mad and they might not even notice that they are saying this but I need to say something. When someone is considering suicide (which I have before) they don't need to hear that their feelings and emotions and what they are going through in their life is "trivial" or unimportant. To them...they are very important and very real. I know that the things that are in my life right now are very real and very big TO ME! They may not be anything compared to someone elses problems but TO ME they are big and sometimes hard to deal with...Just something to think about.

I don't think they are saying his problems are trivial or not important. They are saying that in time with proper help he will look back on them as a small blip in the radar of life. We all have stumbles and we all pick ourselves up and move forward. Its hard I struggle with it. If there were easy way outs what would be the point of the human race? You need the struggles and the hardships to grow as a person. Growing hurts and its uncomfortable but must be done.

Ross you are obviously crying out for help or guidance. I agree with Dako I think this is a great support group but by no means a replacement to therapy. People who announce that they want to end it all dont really mean it that is a way to strike up attention to oneself. I know I have done that too before. I dont want to kill myself I just wanted people to take notice of me.

Now please dont take this the wrong way. I have followed your posts and when people offer suggestions you seem to find an excuse of why it wouldnt work. You need to do the work we nor anyone else in your area can do it. It is all in YOUR control.

Shorty,

I am in your same situation right now. We started talking online, then the phone, and then he came out to my state. We were building a great friendship that is until I developed feelings for him. Anyways it has now been 2 months since I have actually talked to him. He is avoiding my calls, my emails, my PM's, anything and everything.

You will have your strong days as well as the day like your having now. The days like this one seem to get shorter and less frequent. I do wish for closure also. At least with a death that is the closure but when a person you care about suddenly stops all communication thats when the closure is harder to get. I do think putting any memorbilia away so as not to upset you when you are having a good day.

Not sure if working out is your thing, I know its not mine but I am improving myself and filling up the holes in my heart with things that I love and want to do.

Winchica,

You have been through alot in the last few months. Although a move may do some good I think in your heart of hearts you know what you need to do. If you know right now that Chicago is not the place for you and that your b/f isnt ready for any commitments I would perhaps stay behind.

Its like an eskimo moving to Hawaii. Yes they may want to try it out for a moment but ultimately they would not be happy for a long term stay. Although on the other hand you could go up there and find an opportunity that you can't find in the south?

You need to follow what your gut is telling you. We tend to ignore that and then we kick ourselves for not listening to it.

The irony is you dont want to be rejected but in the end you really are. You are left with the feeling of rejection. Does that makes sense? Take your friend you are there for him always. You pick up the pieces of his life every time he breaks. Then you have feelings for him and you know very well they will never be reciprocated. Then what are you left with???? Rejection.

RW ~

Remember when you asked if you were Co-dep? These are signs of a co-dep person. Taking on others problems;you may not think you are consciencly doing so but its a habit for you. They know you and they know you will not say "No" or "Sorry I just can't take this on right now."

It's being there for friends and family but also being able to draw the line on some things and walk away. You need to have the inner strength and courage to do so.

Hi There

You may want to look up information on the Bartholin's Gland. Sometimes it becomes clogged and can cause the bump or "cyst"

Hope that helps.

I think its pretty cool that this other girl is her own person. That she is a free flowing spirit who probably doesnt judge others by appearance or how they live their life. Thats what I think is pretty cool not weird!

Are you lubricated when you are about to have sex?

If you think you might have a medical condition then a DRs sound advice and diagnoses goes farther then what I or anyone else here can tell you.

As for the not losing your husband what is the relationship like overall? Do you both have any future goals? School, buying a house, travel?

A great question you can ask is What are their expectations? If there is any sort of info on the company read up on it and so that you can slip in some knowledge of the company while interviewing. You can ask about their stand on work/life balance.

If it gets down to pay and benes you can ask about the benefits and how long it takes until they become effective. You can ask about growth potential of the company or the position you are applying for.

eh. kellbell, i wasn't trying to break him anymore than he's broken. but sometimes the things that help us best aren't always the easiest to listen to.

 

everything i said was based on my own experiences. took me a long time to learn myself. it's still hard really hard for me when i care about someone to just give up. but then look at the first quote on my signature.

 

Hmmmmm......Perhaps you should reread what you wrote.

The irony!

Hey Shamus

I am glad to see your back. What you need to do only YOU can have the power to do.

You are letting this person have so much power over you. Obviously she didnt care only cared when it suited her best. Do you really want to grant this person power over the rest of your life? Affecting your daily living, your dating life, your mental quiet moments? It seems as though you are in a ditch by the road of life. You start to crawl out and then you grant her the power yet again and slip farther down the ditch. Do you really want to watch everyone and everything pass you by while you sit in this ditch? I think not.

You were a great guy in that relationship. You were caring, honest, loving, and forgiving (almost to forgiving). You can at least hold you head high. I doubt she could do the same. We all ruminate over the good times or the the times we bent over backwards to help. Sometimes the things that push us forward is to think of the things that weren't so good.

Granting her this power over you she is winning and you know what she doesnt care. Their are many nice, respectful, caring women out there and your are only looking at the tunnel vision of this one person who showed you none of these things. Its time to look forward and not back put one foot in front of the other and let the shadows of the past fall behind you.

If you ever want to talk feel free to PM me you know you are always welcome

Are you sure you are looking at everything realistically? You are 19 and you realize the chips are stacked against you and your marriage. You have so much to learn and experience and if he is your first everything I hate to say it but I dont think he will be your last.

I just read over some of your posts and you married at 19 only after knowing your hisband in person for 2 weeks. I know longer on the internet but hun that is totally different then knowing someone in person. Why did you get married so soon and at such a young age?

I agree perhaps you both need a tutorial on sex and the human body.

How old are you??? I would hope this is not a joke!?

RW,

Do you ever feel you are trying to find quick fixes to your problems? Like moving out to Cali without any sort of plan? I too am guilty of that. I think "oh this will remedy my situation." The thing is we can't run from our problems they seem to seek us out and find us.

I get the impression that you are a very kind hearted woman and sometimes people take advantage of that quality you possess.I think therapy would be a great move for you. Perhaps they can help you realize things that need to change about yourself and things that you need to strengthen. I do believe that finding a job and increasing your social circle will be something very beneficial to your psyche and to lessening your anxiety.

Only you and you alone can make these changes. Not anyone here on this forum, your parents, or a therapist can change the things that are ultimately in your control.

Thank you Slightly Bent I appreciate your kind words. However, I think that Teacup feels everyone should be on her level and everyone should be apologetic to her.

Teacup if you are to ever make it in this world you will need to accept different opinions. Why would you continue to post on this site if you never agree with what people offer you? Do I have it out for you? That is just laughable. You must feel very insecure that you must resort to that thought. Not everyone in this world has it out for you. The world isnt all about you. I think you need to step down a bit from your pedestal and take a look at the world as everyone else sees it.

No one is better than anyone else. The gals at your work who have had to make very hard choices for actions they did are not any less or any more than you or I. Maybe you should look back at past posts and see how many different members actually answer them. I have and I can tell you not that many. Hmmm could that be that you have never wanted to listen to their advice either and they eventually have given up on wasting their breath anymore?

Teacup it's time to take the blinders off and really focus on real life and what truly is going on and not what is going on in your fantasy world.

Dako,

Too Funny!!! LOL thanks for the great laugh this morning!!!

Teacup,

I am not negative in responding to your posts. Your posts are all the same thing just different people and different place but basically the same thing. I am with Hope on this one I think you play the "victim" card waaaay too much. You get back what you put out in the world. If you want to be treated poorly and always the vctim then that will be your lot in life. I would think that you would want more for yourself.

As for refraining from answering your posts perhaps maybe you shouldnt post you never seem satisfied with anyones response to you. Also maybe look at how many responses you get, not many. Have you ever heard of the story "The boy who cried wolf?" Perhaps people think of your posts as just that.