ElektraHere

B7,

Oh my I am concerned for your safety. Like I have told you I have been thinking about you wondering where you have been. I would say even though he is your Dad you need to be safe. He has some strong anger and abuse issues and they seem to exacerbate when you are home. I am not saying it is your fault whatsoever. He is verbally and physically abusive to you and in those cases it only gets worse. I really think you should not go back home. The best thing for you to do is accept your friends offer to stay with her. If I had a friend in your prediciment I wouldnt hesitate you would have a home with me.

As for why your sister told your ex that is a moot point now. What will it solve to find out the conversation? Nothing you have more pressing issues to think about. I believe that you have the strength and the chutzpah to get through this. It will be hard no denying that but in the end it only makes you stronger.

You know I am here for you and PM me anytime.

If you are putting chemicals into your face because some guy says you need it. He doesnt sound like a caring loving boyfriend to me. Be happy with what you have and who you are not with what he wants you to be.

I have used PAxil and while it works it does have odd side effects. I would get these shocks of energy or something throughout the day. Like I was going to pass out for a milasecond.

I now use Wellbutrin and find it has no side effects I am aware of. My friends and family always know when I havent been taking them. They do help so go back to the doctor and discuss other options.

Then why post if its just a joke?

Teacup,

Are you writing a term paper on "Contradictions?"

Well I could argue the definition of virgin but I wont I think you are get a little right?

Susser did you get a new girlfriend since the last you posted??

I would think their intellect would be the best part.

I know this might not make such sense at first, but I want you to think about it....

 

A person can be "present" and still be abandoning you. Your friend is not very supportive of YOU, all he does is "not leave" but that does not mean he is not letting you down or abandoning you when you need him.

 

Also, think of it this way - by keeping yourself a prisoner inside yourself (ie not meeting others) you are abandoning yourself. You are abandoning the idea of being able to develop friendships, and a life.

 

There is always a risk of being rejected, but at least there is potential for reward there too. By staying in your prison, all you are doing is letting the risk win and guaranteeing that you will continue this hurt, in a different form.

I was thinking the same thing. He has already abandonded you in a way.

The prize is you recapture yourself and achieve things you want in your life. There are people alot older then you who have it rough to but they pick up and make a go of it again.

Take the hurricane victims all of what they owned, their jobs, family and friends who died or disappeared. They are moving on because they have to if they dont they will be in a "hurricane" their entire lives be it emotionally, physically, or financially.

Use the smarts you say you have and start applying them to your life now.

Quit blaming it all on that. Take some responsibility. Now your not in that place and thats good.

Your 24 your not 84. You still have plenty of time. You just have to put all that behind you and quit excusing all of what you dont have on it.

I agree with Melrich.

Comparing what you have to what others have is a no win situation. Dont you think that those people look at you with that same thought? Be it that you have your freedom, you speak your mind, whatever. The grass is not always greener. You have to go out and make it happen because it won't come a knockin on your door.

Quit thinking of what you dont have and start working for what you want. Have you ever heard of what you put out is what you get back? Its an old saying about the certain vibe you put out. Don't be jealous of your friend I am sure she worked really hard for what she has.

Also you need to stop blaming everything on the relationship. Yes its horrible and yes it set you back but you need to move forward from that and stop using it as a crutch. Some of us out here have had abusive relationships and you can only blame them for so much. Now its time to take the responsiblity and work hard and diligent for those things you want.

what type of lotion? Body or face? what products have you tried from the stores? Origins has a great lotion that has no scent, all natural products. There is also Cetaphil I believe they make a lotion too. Eucerin is one an old b/f of mine used. He had exzcema.

Martha,

I am glad that you and your b/f are doing better. I also think its great that you are letting go of the insecurities. As for the 2 you listed you have to ask yourself this.

1. Do you trust your b/f?

2. Would it be in his character to decieve you?

If you answer yes and no then you have nothing to worry about. Martha worrying about what hasnt happened is such a waste of your energy and spirit. You must trust your b/f. How many times has his swim trunks been pulled down in the 7 years you have been with him? If zero I wouldnt worry. How come for his birthday they dont go to a bar where you can wear the wristband?

Originally Posted by teacup

does anyone agree with this advice?

from my short and limited dating experience. (was in stupid abusive relationship for the longest time)

i have learned that the guy has to prove himself. if he's really interested, he'll call me. if he's really sincere, he wont make excuses. if he really cares, he'll ask to see me in advance. if he really wants to, he'll find a way. if he really was for real, he'll contact me. if he wants me, he'll make the time.

all i have to do is sit back and say, yes or no, if im interested or not.

otherwise, i move on.

Basically what you are saying is pretty much common sense. Would you go after someone who werent these things? If so then its pretty foolish. I think this advice has been written its caled "He's Just Not That into You."

I want to say that i have met some very nice, successful, and respectful men online. Sure there are the bad apples but not ALL men are that.

For those who dont want to do the online thing then that is your perogative. I just think to over generalize men is a bit much and not fair to those who are the good ones.

Elektra, you keep trying to control other people's conversations. This is the third time I've seen in the last two days. Stop that.

Not trying to control I am trying to get it back to what the topic is not boxers?

Can we get back to the OP?

Quietgirl,

If you already have the assumptions that guys have 2 motives to be online then why are you talking to them? It seems like you have your mind made up already.

I talk to more than just one guy online am I just an untrustworthy floozy? NO! Am I looking to get laid? NO! Neither are the guys I am talking to. We are just getting to know each other and possibly meet for a date. They could be talking to other women but there is no commitment between us so they are free to.

You are over generalizing men. Yes there are a few cads out there but then again there are women who do the same thing.

Blondy,

You know how I feel of your situation. I think you know what is the best thing for you. I concur with nottogreen

Ross,

That was a very mature and adult thing you did.

This is hopeless! Are you just not getting it? Meaning is any of what we are saying soaking in?

Simple NO!