ElektraHere

Rosemary,

We werent attacking you. When you post something about an abusive huband and then in the next breathe want to be with a women. You must admit you would have probably responded the same way. I don't find what anyone said to be harsh or attacking. It is advice and just that. You can choose to listen to it or choose to do your own thing.

We know you are unhappy and you need to get out of your current situation. Fantasies are healthy yes and are wonderful but reality is you need to dissolve this marriage. That way you can fulfill all your fantasies be it personal, career, etc.

nope........................

I agree with everyone else. The first she is married so not only would you be disrespecting her husband she would be too. Second you are cousins and that is just a fire you shouldn't play with. Ok lets say you have sex and it ISNT great and it ISNT what you thought. Then what? How will family gatherings be? If you don't think that it will casue any problems you are only fooling yourself.

What about you are you married? If so focus on your wife, if not then try dating someone that turns your attentions away from your cousin. You're contemplating opening Pandoras box and you know how that turned out.

I think you may be thinking about it too much. You need to relax, enjoy the time with your b/f, and breathe...

Also has he tried his tongue or fingers? Have you touched yourself to see what it is that you like? Then you can show your b/f.

Summer it is if your not used to things happening down there. You can't just go from 0-60 down there, especially if not alot of things happen regularly.

What is the sensitivity? Pain, too turned on? What??

yes, I agree with Frisco! The tongue is ALWAYS good!!!!!!!!! ;-)

I suggest you get away from your husband first and then find a woman to have a relationship with.

 

If I was the woman I certainly wouldn't be very happy if I discovered there was a abuse/violent husband in the background that could show up at anytime.

 

Good luck and take care.

I think you should 1. get away from your husband

and 2. be by yourself for awhile.

Discover who you are and what your wants are. Don't just dump the husband and then hook up with a honey. Not good for you.

Could you be seeking female intimacy because of the abuse at home and fear that all men are like that? I mean being with a women is not a big deal. If you have had these thoughts for awhile thats one thing but not because of your current situation. Resolve one thing at a time.

Rosemary,

You just posted on how your husband is abusive towards you. Now you are saying you want to hook up with a woman? Do you think perhaps you should focus on you and getting out of an abusive cycle rather than fullfilling fantasies right now???

Ok Frisco for you then ;-)

I think it depends on how expressive the person is. If you can write with ease then you will probably have a longer profile. Someone who can't put their thoughts on paper real well would have a shorter profile.

One thing you mentioned if you had the $$ you would send it to him so he could visit you. I hope if you do come into some $$$ do not send it to him.

Guys are really great at the email, IM, and phone thing but when it comes to reality they are not good with facing real life emotions.

RW -

I think that finding a job is a great first step in reclaiming your independence. You can make it on your own. Yes you can!!!!

It is possible yes! Is there a high probability of it not working. Yes!

Just be careful with your heart.

EH, do you ever get scared of change, esp changing a routine that you have been used to and look forward to for a long time?

YES!!! I totally do. When my situation with Robert happened that was a HUGE change. I hated every bit of what was happening and thought I would never recover. You know what??? I have I may not be 100% but I am about 80%. My life has improved since this change. Doors have opened and things are progressing within my life. Its funny when you change your focus you start to take in what is offered to you all around.

Will I ever see or talk to Robert anymore? No. A few months ago I would not have accepted that. Now I have to for my own sake.

It HAS to be about you! It is totally imperative to your well being. With negatives comes positives. REMEMBER THAT!!!!

RW,

Change is a constant. Sometimes we embrace it and other times we avoid it like the plague. You need to change a few things about your life right now. Yes it will be scary but not all change is bad.

The b/f thing needs to go for sure that is very toxic. It will be a BIG change but really it is for the better.

You have the power within you to change all that affects you negatively. Its all about applying that

You can do it have faith in yourself....

I would tell her up front because she could be "feeling" it for you. No use in misleading her. She will only get hurt.

Actually the accents that old Hollywood actors had in the 20s, 30s, and 40s were great too. Americanized with a hint of Brit.

Hey Tar ree saw

I will be 34 in a few weeks so start planning my retirement party ok ;-)

RayKay,

I think being from the US the European accents are alluring. If I lived in Europe I would probably not think anything of it. In Canada there is also a blending of European accents. I live on the West Coast and the accent here is what you see on Amercian commericals and news. Which is no accent.

DANG!! My timing is always off. LOL

I have both hehe

 

OH MAN!!! Your killing me ;-)

I don't think you should consider yourself "old." Old is all in the mind. I know 21 year olds that act like 15 year olds. I also know people in their 50s and 60s and they act like they are my age, which is 33. There was a gal I knew who threw her husband a "over the hill party" when he turned 30. Puhleeeze.

You feel young you will stay young. Don't worry so much on the number just enjoy life

Austrailian........yessssssssssssss

or

British

I don't think your shallow. You just aren't into him that way. I have been on your friend's side and what I can say is he is having his share of ups and downs. The thing is he may say ok we can still be friends but he may have thoughts that you WILL change your mind.

I had a male friend whom I had an amazing connection with. We talked daily for hours at a time, had similar senses of humor, and had a great time together. When I told him I had feelings he did not respond the way I wanted. I wanted to know why and he would never give me the reason. However I suspect it is the same as what you feel I wasnt good looking enough. (I can say I am NOT bad on the eyes)

We had our ups and downs and I tried to continue the relationship but it just wasnt going to work. I had too much of my heart invested in him. The last straw was I fell as far as a person can fall and wanted to end it all. I credit some EXCELLENT people on this site for talking me through things.

My point is your friend has expressed his feelings for you and you have responded. It wasnt the answer he hoped to hear. He may give up but I think he may continue to "convince" you that you two are meant to be.

The one thing I would suggest is be kind to him. He is dealing with alot of emotions for you. Don't bolt on him or ignore him. Thats what my friend did. That does nothing but hurts and makes the person want to "fix" things. The thing that may need to take place if you two decide to continue the friendship is to agree to some time apart.

I hope this gives you some insight and to say you are not shallow you are just human