ElektraHere

So ALS...basically you're saying that everyone there probably doesn't WANT to be, and they loathe each other?? LOL Sounds lovely.........

I think her point was that not all things are what they seem. Things can look grand and/or superficial but when you get to the heart of it there could be flaws that those on the outside cant see.

He is insecure, express your interest in him.

Nottogreen why would any women want an insecure man???? I think it goes both ways a man wouldnt want or tolerate an insecure woman...

Oh Win,

I would say with all you have been through and to have someone say that? I would say the same thing Annie has said.

Perhaps the love you have for her will never be enough. Maybe its a friend love masked as love love?

what do you make your move?

 

EB

 

The move to go the other direction when it comes to this guy. Like you said if he is like this now he will ALWAYS be like this...

You can't read more into anything. When you do that thats were assumption comes in. And you know what they say about assuming.

All I can go off is my personal experience and when I should have listened to my gut and not read more into a text or an email. Gosh my heart wouldnt be held together with scotch tape and rubber bands..

HI EB

In my experience the gut instinct should never be ignored. I know I have ingored mine so many times. If I had only listened to it I would have saved myself from alot of hurt.

If you are just talking to him and are finding these little things that bother you maybe that is telling you something??

I think life experiences do change a person. Some for the good and some for the worst. I can say my life has had its ups and downs. I am different from when I was 16 ,25, and now I am 33. I joke with all my friends I will be the old lady on my porch yelling at kids to stay out of my yard. LOL

Seriously I think major things such as a death, abuse, and divorce can take a piece of hope and bury it down deep within your soul. It is up to you to unearth it and replace it in its rightful spot.

Oh my you are so better off without that person. Who I don't care if he was your ex or whathaveyou he totally disrespected you. He also took advantage of someone who was impaired.

A man is no excuse to harm, abuse, or kill oneself.

I would stick with pure honesty. Don't tell someone something they want to hear. Tell them things YOU want them to hear. I missed the holding hands in the car part. Just stick to what you really in your gut tells you.

First off DONT FEEL PATHETIC! You will find someone you just can't put so much effort into it. I know when I seem to seek and push and prode for a relationship it totally backfires in my face. I recently let go of my biggest thing "Expectations." Its odd because usually with a date I ask all the realtionship type questions but now I enjoy it for what it is. If its lame oh well at least I am out of the house.

Quit putting a timeframe on things. When that happens you are bound to be dissappointed. Somebody told me one "If you want to make God laugh make a plan." So quit planning and just go with whatever or whomever suddenly comes your way. All of my friends who are married all met their husbands when they WEREN'T looking. They had been content with themselves and having a ball. Thats when the magic seems to happen.

Good Luck,

Hmmm??? First off I feel it was rude of her to cancel on you (at such late notice) but still go to the party with her friend. She also mentioned that she dumped her last b/f because he was not giving her the space she needed. Perhaps her stand-offnish is due to the fact you opened yourself up way too soon. Its great that you like her and you would like to see where this goes but you need to let it evolve. She could have heard this and thought "Oh no another guy who will want ALL my time."

Give her a call Monday or Tuesday to make plans if she cancels again I would take that as she is just not that into you

Sorry Oldflam3 there was a definite hijacking of your post.

Please let this nice gal have her post back!

Yes so perhaps take that advice and do just that.

Experience, TheRedQueen, just experience, nothing more, nothing less.

 

Have you read the thread I posted my comment in? ]

 

Yes, you just copied and pasted what you said on that thread to this thread. Not very helpful or original. Also you only reffered the person to the website in your signature. Not much experience shown there!!

Absolutely, sensible man wants equal partner. That's difficult. But he knows too much and having made plenty of wrong choices in his long life.

 

He tries to "shape" the equal partner from the child up. Does not work though. Child grows up, becomes independent...

 

It's a nice dream for him...

 

... And a nightmare for the girl.

Good grief do YOU even know what your talking about??? Nothing you are saying makes a bit of sense. Serioulsy can I ask if English is a second language for you?

I dont want anyone shaping or molding me. I am a work of MY own creation and not anyone elses....

I agree, I like older men, but I'm sure as heck not going to date someone who sees me like a child. The reason that most women like men older than themselves is due to the level of development as an person. They are more aware of who they are and are not usually driven by a stupid youthful sense to prove their manliness at every turn. They're stable and usually more reliable and responsible.

I concur CB!!!! I dont want a dad I want an equal partner....

"Not shock". Explain that to me please.

Have you ever seen the movie "Shocking Asia?" Enough said!!

Isnt that what a Dad is for????? Nottogreen this sounds a bit odd and or sick.....

No, not bad. I was getting touchy-feely here instead of logical.

My bad.

 

Flame suit off.

Thats why the Ladies Love Dako..

We should call you LLdako!

Hey, lighten up!

I just wanted to hear other peoples' opinion and perhaps modify my own.

My intention was not to touch on feminism or any other 'big' issues.

 

Sorry if I sounded aggressive.

I didn't want to change the world, just to understand it a little bit better.

 

No I think it was a few who just didnt understand your simple question... Unfortunately comes with the territory here on ENA..

Brando,

 

I respect your views and agree except for one thing. Your post starts with "I think" but I was writing "I feel."

Feminism isn't lost on me, and I've never subscribed to the weak woman strong man routine. I've had enough friends who stretch gender roles to know better.

 

Warm in my flame suit...think I'll leave it on.

You can take it off Dako I think you are safe in here ;-)

Actually Dako,

 

I don't think women today need many forms of protection.. they are very capable of handling themselves. In all arenas of life. I guess in a physical situation if a damsel is in distress, a knight in armor coming to her defense is ok..(and i am not trying to be a sexist), it is the one way though i can think of how you would answer the question of being protective of women.

I think that Dako is saying it as a gentleman not that he will be a savior to someone. If I were being harassed by some men in a bar and you or Dako were there. I would really appreciate if he were to speak up and not let me "fend for myself." Sometimes the "saving" is not the knight on the white horse scenario it can be just someone being kind. Plus isnt this thread on how older men oogle younger women??

Wow!! The math on this was tricky one...

17 months since last relationship which ended badly

14 months online dating

equals

3 months of recouping before heading out into the dating world, perhaps it could have been longer before jumping into the water.

10 months of therapy

1.5 months since it ended

equals

no longer depressed that is a great accomplishment be proud of that success!!!

29 dates

24 men

equals

welcome to the dating world.

One must kiss alot of toads before she finds the "prince." I wouldnt get frustrated. Someone very smart told me that with every wrong one its a step closer to the right one. We are all in the same boat sister the dates that are either from hell or you think you click and they don't call back. Don't give up but you must take time for you and enjoy just being in your own company. For example I went out and ate by myself tonight. It was nice because I didnt really feel like talking but I enjoyed the view of the water and my burger.

Dont lose hope you will have other successes dont take the dating as a failure it is just working your way to that someone special.

i guess it is equal to younger women dating older guys because they have money....

Thats quite the generalization isnt it?