Kisses

I feel like you think I made demands, and I did not. I asked him to respect how I feel and set my own boundary on what I will accept, and I ASKed him to limit the talks unless they are about his children not that he could NEVER talk about other things. Like the other day he had the grands and we had something to do so he was going to call his son to ask the Ex. could she get them and he would pick them up when he was done and I told him to just call her then I asked him was he doing it that way because of me? He said No. He would NEVER let me control him but sometimes people don't get it until you point it out to them Kinda how you are pointing this out to me. I NEVER even thought of this as controlling until now and you may be right. Please believe me when I say I am not being argumentative right now because I truly want to understand and maybe open myself up to somethings that I need to work on. Soooo you feel like a person should just say how they feel about things in general and not ask their partner to change anything? I hope you take this the way I mean it because I truly don't understand why I shouldn't ask him to change something. Like he has asked me to change things and I have because it makes him uncomfortable. I think compromise is a part of every relationship, control is imposing my will on him

I understand your point but in this case she wants him back and boundaries need to be in place (maybe with me). I think he is enjoying the attention at the expense of my feelings. I have the same boundaries with my ex. It would be different if we met and when she called him to say hi because he ran across her mind and he told her I was in his company that she was respectful but this is not the case and so I really believe he should limit his conversations. Thanks for pointing out that this could be received as controlling I will definitely take notice of that because that is not who I am However I am very protective.

You are sooo right! He is a great guy and I truly love him but unless he makes me an priority this will always be a problem.

This is what I said to him. They use to buy gifts together and put both their names on it. Crazy to me. Last year I didn't have much to say because we wasn't together very long but this year if he tries to split his time I will dismiss myself because what is the problem I invite him when something is going on with my grandkids and it doesn't matter who is there because he is with me.

Yes they are legally divorced she took half when she went. He use to deliver the alimony payments in person and hang out a while. When she found out about me. She told their sons I guess your father is truly done with me now he has a girlfriend. Thanks for the advise.

I have been dating this man for a year in 10 days and I'm about ready to walk away but a part of me feels like I'm overreacting. Everything started out wonderful as it always does. We took trips out of town went to church together. I met his family(some) and he met mine. Family cookouts and birthday dinners etc etc. He has an ex wife they were married for 20 years and divorced for 7 they have 3 adult sons together and grandchildren. I except and support that. My problem is I feel like he puts her 1st. When he 1st invited me to his home there was still a photo on the wall of the two of them together. She still has things there and I don't mean like a drawer of things....lots of things that she didn't take when she moved out 8 years ago. Up until he met me she still had a key they still did holidays together "because of the grandkids". Still talked on the phone. She still called him if she needed things done around her house. I asked him to remove her things from the home because it made me feel like I"m in another woman's house. I asked him to limit his conversations to things about the (adults) kids. Both things turned into a fight. He asked her to come get her things and she was pissed came in and made a few comments about things that was no longer her business took a few things and left the rest. To this day her things are still in that house because he just hasn't had time to clean them out. (yeah right) The conversations have slowed down or at least around me. But not because he had a talk with her to set boundaries (that never happened). He hurt himself on the job and she called to check on him Fine that was nice and he told me about it nothing to hide. Then she called the next day to check on him again except I was there when he told her that he and his girlfriend was watching TV her tone turned mean and she got off the phone. We go everywhere together except if she is going to be there. If he thinks shes going I don't get an invite like to the grandkid's awards day at school etc. he doesn't want me to go. Why would he keep us apart? She and I have never met. Two of his 3 sons are not his bio kids and I have never met them either. Am I missing something if he want a further with me (he says he does) why don't he want me to met the rest of his family. FYI I have met everyone else sister brothers aunts etc etc. Am I making his EX more important than she is or is this a Red Flag?