lomi

I just want to know what you think, because my head is going to explode. Of course, I need to work this out on my own, but I just want someone, who can look at this objectively, to tell me their opinion. The woman I thought I knew would never do those things, or say those things, so that went out the window. I'm angry, but you are right, if we want to work this out, we need therapy, I just need someone else's perspective on this. Sorry for bothering you with my problems.

I care for her, I am worried about her, but my heart is broken into pieces. Please, tell me as someone who is not emotionally biased, like I am, what do you think happened? I just want your opinion, to get another perspective.

One of my wife's coworkers wrote back. He is completely natural, as far as I know, he doesn't have strong opinions on either Mark or my wife. He was also there that night. Here is what happened according to him: My wife was visibly sad at the start of the trip. He asked if I know Linda. I told him no, I don't know her. He told me she is on good terms with my wife, and was the only person she talked to during the trip. Apparently, my wife complained to Linda during the entire trip about me, how I don't listen to her problems, and how I ignore her, how she felt about the trip, etc. I know that at least some of this is true, because there were some details about our argument, that he couldn't have known about, unless my wife told them. He told me Linda basically spent the whole time riling my wife up against me. He told me he didn't say anything, but he was annoyed he had to listen to their drama during the trip. That day, before the evening, my wife spent the entire late afternoon with Linda. During the evening, Mark approached my wife, and they started talking and drinking. He says he left the room, and only came back an hour later, but at that point, my wife and Mark were heavily flirting. He told me he never saw my wife acting like that before, he felt pretty awkward. After they went into Mark's room, they could hear sounds of her laughing, so they assumed she was okay. The next day, my wife acted like nothing happened, and on the way back, she sat next to Linda, but he couldn't hear what they were saying. I asked him how does Linda look, he said she has long black hair and freckles. I rewatched the video. I had a hunch the girl sitting next to my wife was Linda, and I'm 95% sure she is. She was sitting next to my wife, and during the whole thing, she was subtly encouraging her behaviour, occasionally chiming in on the conversation. On second watch, I think my wife knew exactly why she was going into Mark's room. If her words, and the tone of her voice didn't make it clear enough, she kept glancing down at his crotch. As they stumbled in, my wife looked surprised Mark actually showed her the view. Before he kissed her, she gave him "that look", and puckered her lips, so (now that I saw it for a second time) it's obvious she wanted a kiss. I could forgive her flirting, but I can't unsee her giving a blowjob and swallowing (which she NEVER EVER did for me), or her moaning and calling out his name. I can't even hug her, because I instantly remember how they cuddled, and I feel uncomfortable. Also, every coworker who actually wrote back to me, said they were surprised, because the trip was 2 months ago, and Mark and my wife were on friendly terms since. I wrote to Linda, and she blocked me. About Mark's wife, I don't know if she is her, I know the wife herself is real (I think?), but maybe Mark is writing in her name? Whatever it is, I don't want to talk to him/her again, I don't want more "evidence". The truth is, I don't know what to believe anymore, I can't make sense of it. What do you think? If someone could rationalize this for me, or write a timeline on what they think realistically happened during that trip, I would appreciate it, because I am completely lost.

Hi everyone. Sorry for not posting, the last few days were crazy. My wife stopped going to work, but she didn't actually quit yet. I wanted to learn everything I could about that night. I checked the pictures my wife and her coworkers shared about the trip, but I didn't see anything weird. I asked one of her coworkers, she said she doesn't know a lot either. She said my wife was not in a good mood during the trip, Mark consoled her, then they spent the evening talking to each other. She says she doesn't know what happened after, because she went to sleep, but the next morning, one of the other coworkers saw my wife coming out of Mark's bedroom. She told me she doesn't want to get into it, and then she ghosted me. I wrote back to Mark's wife, telling her, that Mark raped my wife, and I'm going to the police. She said my wife wasn't raped, whatever my wife told me is a lie. She told me she is not trying to defend Mark, he is an ***, but my wife was a willing participant. She told me she has proof, that she did it willingly, but she doesn't want to send it to me, for my sake. I told her to send me everything she has, because I can't sleep, I have to know what happened. She sent me a very long video, I regret watching it, it broke my heart. I watched my wife, the woman I thought I knew better than anyone, give Mark, who I thought she hated, a blowjob. My wife never liked blowjobs, but on the video, she looks fully into it. The other thing is, she knew she was getting recorded, because at one point she stopped, and blew a kiss towards the camera, then laughed. At that point I had to stop watching, I had to vomit. I only sped through the rest of the video. Long story short, Mark put down the phone, and it recorded... a lot. I never heard her moan like that before, the whole thing made me sick. The worst part is, that I think she had multiple orgasms. Mark's wife told me to get a divorce, she is going to divorce Mark too. I went to my wife, and asked her to tell me everything, down to the last detail. I showed her the video Mark's wife sent me, and she started crying hysterically. When she calmed down, she told me what she remembers. She was upset when she left. She said she was angry at me, for not listening to her. She was uncomfortable during the trip, she didn't enjoy it at all. That evening, everyone had a drink, and Mark started talking to her. For once, he was actually nice, asked her what's wrong. My wife didn't tell him, but appreciated the gesture. She thought they can bury the hatchet, at least. After some small talk, he asked her, if she wants a drink. My wife didn't want to accept it, but when he turned away, with a sad, disappointed look, she felt like he handed her an olive branch, and she threw it away. She accepted the drink, and they kept talking. My wife wanted to go back to her room, but she was waiting for the polite time to excuse herself. She wanted to end the conversation, but it kept dragging on. After a while, she started feeling something. She says it was a small thing at first, but it overtook her. She told me it was like a warm blanket has been placed on her, and all her thoughts started melting away. She remembers feeling relaxed, and the world become more colorful and the lights started slightly dancing. She said she felt the warmness go down into her stomach and then it spread, and it was like a tingling or almost burning feeling, almost like her body was yearning to be touched. She said after that, Mark started flirting with her. She saw that Mark was recording, but at that point, she didn't care at all. She said everything is hazy after that, but she remembers she wanted to show off her looks, that is why she unbuttoned her blouse. She remembers that she bent over slightly, to give him a better view, and when Mark complimented her, she said she felt so sexy, it was surreal. She said she has never been that aroused in her entire life. She has flashes of them kissing, she doesn't remember the blowjob, when I asked, she admitted, that she remembers having an orgasm. Next day, she woke up with a terrible headache. She got dressed and left. She said she vomited multiple times, her coworkers thought she just had a bad hangover. When she remembered that he was recording, she asked Mark to delete the videos, and he did delete them, in front of her. I guess he didn't really delete them, since the videos still exist. She said Mark acted like it was consensual. She cried, told me she loves me, and asked me to forgive her, she couldn't stop crying. She told me she hates herself. I am sleeping on the couch, ever since this thing started. My wife barely eats, and our kids started noticing that something is VERY wrong, but they don't know what. I told her we can put this behind us, if she goes to the police. She doesn't want to, she said she will quit her job, but she doesn't want to go to the police. She said she loves me, but I feel like I can't look at her like before. That video burned into my mind. The way she called out his name, the sensual way she did those things with him, come to my mind every time I look at her. I don't want a divorce, but I also can't pretend like nothing happened, even though I want to believe what she's saying. There is a voice in my head, that's saying maybe she was just got drunk, and made a mistake, or she took the drug willingly, but it got out of hand. I don't know. I think I need time to think. Thanks to everyone who offered me advice, I'm trying to not fall apart, but I am literally shaking as I'm writing this.

That's what I don't understand. On the first video, she looks like her normal self, then on the second one, she's all smiles and sunshine with Mark. I've never seen her like that before. I'm sorry that happened to you. This is what's bothering me. My wife says she was raped, but on the video, it doesn't look like she was uncomfortable. She was very cleary flirting with him, it doesn't look like she was forced. If I saw the videos without knowing my wife, I would say she seduced Mark, and not the other way around. Is there a drug, that can induce this type of behaviour? But why would she flirt with him in the first place? We had a fight before she left, but I thought she hated Mark. Then again, I thought she hated it, when Mark called her "blondie", but on the video, she looks like she enjoys it. Maybe I don't know her. I just can't make sense of this. If she was raped, why didn't she tell me, and leave her job? I feel like my head is going to explode.

Me and my wife have been together for 9 years. We have two children, a 6 year old son, and a 4 year old daughter. My wife went back to work a year ago, when our daughter started going to kindergarten. It immediately became apparent, that her boss, Mark, is an ***. My wife constantly complained about him, how he keeps calling her "blondie" and "sweetheart" and stuff like that. She told him to stop several times, and he did, but only for a while. Her coworkers told her it's not a big deal, he talks like this to everyone, it's his way of being friendly. 2 months ago, my wife went on a 3 day buisness trip. She wasn't happy about it at all. I tried to calm her down, told her to quit if she hates this job so much, she told me she loves the job, she just hates Mark. I told her she should at least try to enjoy the trip, she got pissed, that I'm not listening to her. We had an argument, and the next day, she went on the trip. I could tell she was still angry, but didn't know what to say to her. When she came back, she was silent during the whole day. She didn't really talk about the trip, she just kept looking at me. I assumed she was still hurt, because of our argument, so I apologized to her, and told her I'll try to be more attentive in the future. Since then, she never complained about her boss, when I asked her about it, she kept changing the topic, it was very weird. Yesterday, I was messaged by Mark's wife. She told me Mark cheated on her with my wife. She sent me 3 videos, told me she found these on Mark's phone. On the first video, my wife and the other coworkers are in some living room area, and Mark is talking to my wife. My wife is dismissive towards him, he calls her "beautiful", praises her work, but my wife doesn't look interested. He then shows the camera the hotel room. On the next video, it's night, everyone is in different clothes so I assume this was recorded on another day. It's night, they are in the hotel, everyone is drinking. My wife looks like a different person, she unbuttoned her blouse, let down her hair, laughing loudly at Mark's jokes. Mark keeps complimenting her, and she is eating it up, smiling at him. They keep talking, and my wife is the life of the party, which is not like her at all, she's normally very shy. On the third video, there are fewer people, the lights are dimmer, and my wife is sitting across the table, looking at Mark. She is playing with her hair, which I know she only does when she's in the mood. Mark called her sexy, and my wife didn't say anything, just smiled at him. They flirted for a while, then Mark started talking about how nice the view from his bedroom is. My wife showed interest, and Mark offered to show her. They went in, and Mark showed her the view. Suddenly, Mark put down the phone, and based on the sounds, they started kissing. After that, Mark turned off the camera. I asked Mark's wife, why Mark recorded these, she said he loves recording everything, it's like an obsession for him. I confronted my wife, and she started crying, told me she doesn't remember that night, she must have been drugged. I asked her who drugged her, she said Mark gave her a drink, and then she only remembers waking up the next morning in his bed. She asked me to forgive her, but I don't know if I could even believe her. If she was drugged, wouldn't she just pass out, like a zombie? She looked like she was enjoying every second of it, but it's true, that she didn't look like herself, so I have no idea. If she was raped, why didn't she tell me, why didn't she leave her job? She says she doesn't want to go to the police, but she didn't go to work today. I have no one to ask for advice, we didn't talk since then, and I feel like I'm going insane. I don't want to divorce her, I want to keep our family together, but I can't even look at her. What should I do?