facelesswanderer

Okay I won’t. I’m friends with her friends and according to them she does really like me and talk about me a lot so that’s good at least. I’ll just give her space and see what happens.

You’re sweet @ShySoul

This one is interesting. She didn’t consider going back. She said she would never make the mistake of falling for someone who would devolve into a ***head, so she has some misplaced trust issues on me. I think this response is the most hopeful, especially the part about how she wants to like me but is unable to. Sometimes when she’s complimenting me it’s almost like she’s trying to convince herself lol I’m not sure if I should press her for specific details about her ex, but I’m thinking I might need some clarification and if it seems to line up with the section where she stayed with him over a longer period of time despite being an *** (meaning she remained attracted to him) I will dip.

I didn’t ask what specifically, all I know is the aftermath of when she dumped him and he tried to spread a bunch of misinformation about her and split her up from her social circles. Apparently he started out nice and I’m gonna guess it’s caused her to have some trust issues. I’m really thinking I should just ask specifically what occurred and come to my own conclusion. She told me straight up when she wanted to try a second time that she was still struggling and was scared of starting again, but much less so than before.

The way I understood it, white knight behaviour is intentionally getting into relationships with broken women so I can “fix” her or something.

Maybe I wasn’t clear in my original post. It’s been a few days. We went out on Tuesday, texting conversations were normal and fluent until maybe around Thursday, then it died down and it’s currently Sunday. It’s not impossible to catch her in a conversation, but it’s not like I’m coming off as desperate to her either. Usually I’ll reciprocate her push and pull, so if she sends a text after 3 hours, I’ll reply in around the same time period. Of course sometimes I’ll reply in 20 minutes even if she took a couple hours and then I’ll wait another couple hours for her to say something again, but sometimes not. Sometimes I’ll wait multiple hours to respond to her and SHE will reply in a few minutes. She does initiate conversations still. Just last night she sent me a message about some random stuff that was going on in her life and I did manage to catch a conversation there. I think I’m just overthinking. As for answering some questions in this thread: Q: Is she hot? A: She’s not hot, she’s cute. Nothing that lights up a room but she has a way about her. Honestly I would say the girl I dumped to start things up with her again was a bit more attractive. Q: Are you going to be friends with her and wait again? A: No. I wasn’t friends with her last time it happened either. I just randomly told her I still had feelings for her and she was extremely shocked because she thought I hated her. Q: Do you have white knight syndrome? A: I know what that is. No I don’t. I don’t care nor am I attracted to her “brokenness.” It’s actually one of the main things I dislike and was a serious consideration before trying anything with her but I decided my interest in her outweighed it.

Yeah, I know she's not a good dating prospect. Unfortunately I am very attracted to her especially her weirdness. She's just different, introverted and kinda shy like me but I don't fully know how to explain it through words here. I'm fairly certain she's attracted to me as well, at least physically. I know I'm not a bad looking dude. Guess it all lies in the emotionally maturity here. I almost want to risk my heart on her just because I enjoy her presence so much. We started out as friends, by the way, so I had a lot of time to develop emotionally with her. I'm not sure why she apologises all the time, and yeah it does concern me and I always tell her not to apologise for nothing because secretly it makes me feel bad. She does make it clear she's into me. We've had several intimate discussions about how we feel about each other. One thing that concerns me is that she said she never wants to hurt me, so I'm worried she would lie or pull something like this because she thinks it'd spare my feelings (literally the opposite, I prefer things straight up). I'd say I do feel more satisfaction when we're together than... whatever this is. I do really like her after all. I really don't want to drop her, but man it's hard right now. Honestly I'm on the fence. I know I am attractive enough to have a fair amount of options, but I'm worried I won't find someone ever like her again. I will miss her if I leave.

Roger that. By initiate what do you mean? Like don’t talk to her at all and wait for her? Or initiate as in wait for her to ask to hang out?

Did I scare her off by rushing her? Can't believe I'm here asking for advice but I'd like some opinions on this. So there's this girl who I dated at the start of this year which ended because she was still struggling mentally with issues from her ex boyfriend who she had only recently broken up with (apparently he was a ***). I believe her on this. About a month ago I realised I still had pretty strong feelings for her despite trying my best to move on, and I broke it off with another girl I understood I was unintentionally leading on and immediately confessed to her that I was still into her. She said she felt the same and would be open to trying again with me, as long as we take it slow and get to know each other again. We text every day, but not too much. She is a huge overthinker, and actually asked me if "I only still liked her because I didn't know that I liked you back," which I obviously denied and was confused what events occurred for her to believe that in the first place, but I figured I should try and act more lovey dovey with her so she wouldn't get in her own head and dip out, which is the last thing I want since I do have quite strong feelings for her. FYI I had a pretty strong suspicion she was still into me, I would catch her staring at me a lot at work. Anyway, I hung out with her a couple times at work. We work at the same job but have different shifts so she came to see me while I was working by myself and I did the same back. I asked her to hang out outside of work and she suggested we go for a walk on the beach but we just spent 5 hours sitting inside her car yapping and it was very cute imo. When she dropped me back off at my car, I said something along the lines of "when you said you wanted to take things slow, how slow?" She was taken aback, so I clarified with "like if I wanted to kiss you right now, would that be too fast for you?" She was flustered and said "no, no, not this time. Next time." I'm completely okay with this. I really don't want to rush her into intimacy. After I got home she sent me a text saying "I'm so sorry," and "I was thinking about it to before you asked but I just don't think I'm ready yet and I need a bit more time to see how things are going." She has a habit of apologising a lot actually, even when she has no reason to. Anyway of course I said that I don't want her to feel bad about not being ready, and I'm perfectly fine to move at her pace and that I'm sorry if I made her feel awkward. She replied that she just felt bad about saying no. It's been a weird few days since then. Texts have slowed down, and I know she has university exams and is working, but I just can't really catch a proper conversation with her that doesn't span over multiple hours throughout the day. I'm kind of concerned that she thinks I'm trying to rush her so she's trying to pull away. I know she's dealt with bad men in her life (I don’t mean like, ones she’s slept with and used her etc) particularly her ex boyfriend which was her first relationship. I'm 21 and she's 20 if this effects anything. I didn't really consider that a kiss is rushing too fast but maybe everyone has different ideas of it. Am I overthinking this? Did I scare her off? What do you guys think? Any more information I can clarify in the comments 🙂