Blostinluv

Thank you all for your responses, I am still living with him while looking for a place and we are trying to work through it, however it is pretty clear that he is making alot of excuses to keep me. Example, I asked him to open his app with me there and block all these women and delete them to avoid temptation and make the grand gesture to earn trust. His reaction was one of irritability followed by tears, he claimed he can't just block those he essentially had "a relationship with, though only online." I explained that's not a relationship, as it's transactional and that the women are simply chatting and exchanging photos to make money. His reaction tells me he enjoys the attention and that this will likely not work out for us. He has only attended 1 therapy session over 3 weeks and still says he's not comfortable discussing it and that I should not be asking to see his phone ever. It's unfortunate but, it is what it is.

I've been trying to initiate conversations about it and he says that he is embarrassed. He has granted me phone access and is attending therapy because he feels it's more a problem like an addiction rather than a fetish. Yes I agree it's cheating and that really hurt, however since I've finally got him talking some I think there is still hope. I also think he needs to open up more so we can identify what each of us is comfortable with and set respectful boundaries and limits. Without that there is no hope.

I've been in a relationship for a few years and living together for about a year, even discussed marriage and future plans. Recently trust was broken over a different subject and was being worked through. However I still suspected something was off, and I was correct. A package was left open in a closet containing womens lingerie not in my size, and an empty box that had contained an anal toy. When confronted my SO said it was just a long distance online thing. Later I broke boundaries and looked through phone to discover he buys womens used lingerie and also purchases toys. The conversations were very sexual, flirty and included exchanging photos, some of him in the items he purchased. Im an open minded person, however I think a kink should be disclosed early on to ensure compatability. I also feel I'm just not what he wants despite his consistency in expressing he loves me. When confronted he claimed this is an addiction not a kink or fetish, he is embarrassed and not ready to discuss with me. However he is sharing this part of himself with multiple women online. I don't know what to do, but I think I need to leave him because I'm not sure I'll ever be comfortable with this part of him even though I love him.