Cooley

I really like the last several replies. The OP needs encouraging. He sounds a lot like me, as far as how I used to be. I was probably WORSE than him. I had buddies who worked while I didn't. To me, they "had money". but that wasn't saying much at all, because I had a goose egg to my name. But, I EXPECTED them to take me drinking on the weekends and buy my smokes. Granted, smoking cigarettes wasn't terribly expensive back then, but still, me expecting draft beer and cigarettes to be covered by friends? Ohh....embarrassing. What was wrong with me? Well, for one thing, my working buddies enabled me by covering me in the first place. I was an unemployed BUM. I didn't deserve a trip to the bar. Yet, I came to expect that from them. We actually had fights over it when they said they'd leave me at home if I didn't get a job soon. Like...I threw tantrums if they left me out of the Friday night festivities. So, to shut me up, they just took me along. Also, I had a "share the wealth" mentality. I told the OP to get out of that mindset, and I MAY have jumped the gun. I sense he MAY have that same mindset I had, but obviously, I don't know for sure. Someone told me something back then that is still resonates with me. They said "the problem with socialism is, eventually, somebody has to do the work". How true! I do think that even at his WORST, the OP is not as bad as I was. OP, you CAN do it! Just get a new mentality. Cherylyn said it best. Learn human nature. Your pals gaslit you, big time. I've seen that happen. I've been gaslit many times. Shoot, I've done the gaslighting. I gaslit my working buddies with guilt trips galore. I'm certainly not proud of it. But think about it. You didn't even get one word out about your situation and they were jumping all over you, telling you how they didn't get to where they are by being stupid with money. That made you think "oh no....what do they know...and how do they know?" and you were then too freaked out to go any further. That was done to shut you down. Mission accomplished. They didn't want to even hear about it. That's people for you. Hang in there!!

NOTHING good ever comes from alcohol consumption

It's that whole "well rounded thinker" thing. Its' crazy how employers love degrees, but, degrees fade with time. There is NO substitute for on the job experience

OP...my guy!! Where do I even begin? Well, let's unpack some stuff, shall we? 🙂 First off, I've been where you are. I've made bad decisions with the green. I had to learn the hard way to be better with it. I've been on the other side too, meaning I've "loaned" it out. Chalk that up to another bad decision. A loan is a gift by another name. I have only been paid back once, and I did like the creditors do when someone defaults. Settled for pennies on the dollar. It was a relative. Yeah...never again. BE BETTER, my guy! It starts with you! I had to look at my reflection in the mirror and say those words to the guy looking back at me. As for your buddies...they may have SOME money, but not as much as they let on. I don't know them, but going off my own experiences, people who brag, well, they are oftentimes overcompensating for something. Slamming a few cold ones and telling you they "got your back". How credible did you REALLY think that was? Your buddies are NOT among the 1%. That much I can say with total confidence. Look, people SAY things all the time. I have heard of people making such "offers". At best, take that with a HUGE grain of salt. That wasn't light at the end of the tunnel. It was a freight train coming your way. You say you need to brush up on your bartending skills. Shoot, do that. You can make some nice side money. That's your lifeline. Not somebody else with money. And please, please, unlearn that "share the wealth" nonsense. Don't be a hippie. That gets you nowhere. I'm not trying to pile on, and make you feel worse. I did the same thing. I once lived off of daddy government. I had NO shame in taking a handout. But, you know what I was doing? I was STEALING from those who actually worked. Their tax dollars kept me afloat. And those working people's taxes were going up because people like me were bumming instead of working. You know the saying. No such thing as a free lunch. I had to start over and remake myself a few times. I THINK I got it right the last time. Fingers crossed. At least you recognized that it's on you. So, do what you gotta do to fix you! And for crying out loud, pay your buddies no mind. They can't do squat for you anyways. Not that it's their job to, but no...they couldn't, even if they wanted to. Drunk or sober, anybody who says "I have way more money than I will ever need" is clearly in la la land. You can do this. I did it. And like I said, I was a bum. Ask for guidance (not money 🤨) along the way. No shame in that. Anytime anyone says anything about "having your back" be it with money or just anything, again, don't read too much into it. It sounds nice, sure. But...it's not what it sounds like. At the end of the day, YOU gotta have YOUR back. Just like I gotta have my back. At any rate, I hope this helps.