joenews

it feels like it’s impossible to go away because the thoughts come without my say

bit frustrating though i kinda don’t wanna be feeling like this months to come, but your words really help it’s very scary cos im not really sure why i care i know it doesn’t affect me and i can’t change it just can’t stop the thoughts coming

and what do i do when i find out the underlying belief which also feels impossible to even find out

yeh i’m aware it’s my ego and like you said it don’t stop it controlling my thoughts i’m just curious if you can help me to not allow it to control my thoughts cos it’s like any time she does anything sexual i end up associating it with her doing it with someone else im fully aware it’s out of my control and im not really sure why i care but i do

reassurance will only temporary make me feel better i’ll just want more reassurance

i’m fully aware it’s gonna be a problem regardless that’s why i want to solve it, there’s no point talking to her about it cos reassurance will just make my thoughts worse

i don’t tend to act on them or make her feel bad for her past at all it’s more just frustating to deal with in my head and i feel like the more i push away the worse they get but it’s very hard not to do that as i don’t want to feel the way i do anymore

i don’t believe that medication is only way to stop them it’s more about i have to personally grow and overcome it as im only 20 so these are just new feelings to me that i need to learn

So basically i’m in a new relationship of about 3 months now and i am suffering with intrusive thoughts about her past and like sexual stuff, i know her past isn’t that deep and im not sure why i even care to be honest but the intrusive thought is there so it’s annoying. The intrusive thought are no where near as bad as they was a few weeks ago because the content doesn’t really bother me as much anymore it’s more just frustrating having to like check in with myself saying things like “ oh you haven’t thought about that for a minute now”. The intrusive thoughts will come in when we have sex occasionally like “she’s done this with someone else and so on”. I’m only 20 and she’s 19 and i know her past isn’t even crazy but im still stuck in this intrusive thought cycle and it’s really annoying. Adding on to this i was in a relationship for 3 years which i got fully over and felt ready to be in a new relationship however my new girlfriend is bothered by this long relationship considering how young we are and has asked a lot of questions about it and ive had to think a lot about the relationship, and in the last week i have now started making associations with stuff she does to my last girlfriend and also intrusive thoughts which i’m assuming is because i was already having intrusive thoughts so it’s kind of just transferred into one. Im just looking for advive and to know that it will stop as it’s frustrating to deal with everyday and it’s kind of taking me out of my relationship sometimes as i feel like im going crazy

i’m gonna try my best to take the advice think i struggle with tryna people please too much and i don’t wanna upset people you know

i told her and she seems pretty understand but she’s upset cos she didn’t realise and obviously didn’t wanna make me feel insecure

*** it i’ll tell her it bothers me if it lasts it last if i don’t because of that reason not much i can do init

i don’t want her to feel like she’s walking on eggshells either though if it’s just a joke

she doesn’t expect loads from me tho like she doesn’t ask for much from me so i’m not sure how asking her to make me a sandwich will actually play out? i just don’t really know how to express it’s bothering me without coming across too sensitive

i want to add aswell she isn’t like against me being open she is always happy when i communicate how i feel it’s more just like little jokes that i cant tell if im just being sensitive or if she really means it and im not sure how to deal with it