HappyHippie

I’m definitely preparing myself emotionally, although I still cling on the hope that it will change. its so hard to let it go.. I still have strong feelings even when things are crap. I just wish we still felt the same about each other.. I never ever lost any of it.. even in all the *** I still love her just as strongly. I wish that it meant something to her, so badly.

You’re definitely right about that honestly, I think I am just a huge sucker for the good moments.

We don’t have kids between us, no, but she has 2 and I have 1. Our kids have already bonded tho.

Thank you. I already want to see a psychiatrist for my “sensitivity” or emotions, so it would probably be wise to see one in my situation rn.

Her first was due to cheating and an open marriage issue, second was abuse, and 3rd just kinda disappeared when she got diagnosed with a certain health issue.

I get paid monthly through social security. I’m sure I could have some of it put away, or maybe when I get the chance to do my 2nd job alone I can somehow put some aside. thanks very much. Some days are so different, Saturday morning when we woke up, she snuggled up to me like she hasn’t in a long time, and said “your wife loves you.”

I appreciate the heads up. I’ll do what I can to prepare although I am royally ***ed no matter what it feels

Thank you. She has been married several times before. Should’ve been a red flag, but she was extremely good to me at the beginning. I brushed a lot off. She honestly did an amazing job of getting me to fall for her.. The more and more we go on the more it feels like she doesn’t care for my feelings. I went through the divorce threat again today. i don’t know how to put money in a separate bank account without her knowing. I mean even when I go off alone, the locations are shared. She’s on my bank account. My kid even cares for her.. I care for her kids.. it’s a mess. This really sucks, and I’m starting g to think the same way that you are in the fact that I don’t think she will ever treat me like she used too.

I appreciate it, very much. I’ll do my best.

I guess what I need to know as well, is how to stand up for myself when it comes to this old FWB. she hasn’t asked today, but with how much she talks about this dude and how much it comes up, I’m sure she will be asking again soon. how can I tell her that her going to eat with him and bringing him to the airport or going out with a group of friends, going with me, even Snapchat is all okay, but I will never be comfortable with her going alone to his house to play “video games.” I think that she thinks she can convince me or talk me into it. i think a lot of this is stemming her unhappiness. I feel like she has gave herself the false hope that I would be okay with this happening ever since I met him I. Person. i don’t care what she says either, she can say she would forgive me all she wants, but I would be playing with fire to think I could do half the things I let her do. At least in the past.. If this is her unhappiness, how can I even remedy it? Even with all the crap I’ve taken I still continue to treat her the best I can.. also sorry for the multiple posts- I just have a lot of thoughts to get out, and had to respond to a few posts. I don’t get much alone time to post.

So I’m not an angry person, at all. I have to be pushed very far to get mad, usually. When she says things like that to me, I usually just get very emotional and cry. I try to ask why. last time it happened was because she was in an argument with my mother. I told her that mom had text me and asked “are we ok” and I responded with “yes” because I am not a person who holds grudges or anger. I told my wife about this. She said “you’re not on my side?, *** this I’m going to so-and-so’s, and I want a divorce.” Walked out- got in our car. Then came back up to the door and asked for her phone. I walked it out to her. I said bye be careful. She flipped me off and said send me my money from the car. Then a few minutes go by of her sitting there, and she calls me. “Did you fix it yet?” (Insinuating to me- that she wanted me to be ugly to my mother some way) I said “no, I don’t know what to do to fix it, and idk if I can either.” She asked me to come sit with her in the car, and she seemed to have calmed down, and told me she wanted me to be on her side and basically if she’s not ok with my mom, then neither should I be. should I just go to a psychiatrist? I’ve been wanting to see one for awhile. My emotions are very very extreme a lot of the time. I feel like that could be a good option to talk to someone alone?

I appreciate it.. if it doesn’t work out I definitely plan on spending a long time alone. That’s what I did before this one, I thought I got to a good spot tbh. I spent years single doi g hobbies with my good friends. Then I started watching gundam, which has love stories in them, and of course it made me mushy-gushy, and want it. honestly, she’s a completely different person from when I first met her. I matched her energy towards me, and I never let it go. Somewhere along the way she definitely let hers go.. around the time I had to trade in the car because she “needed something new”. Which sucks because it was right after she moved in, and I was just so ecstatic and happy we were living together now, and then bam she’s here in a super depressive mood. Extremely obsessed about a car, to the point of moping about it. She said “somethings gotta change, or I’m gonna make it change, even if I have to leave” It was freaking me out, I was putting all this energy and effort in, and she was completely down.. I made a rash decision in a desperate attempt to get things back to the way they were. but yeah, around then she changed. these past few days she’s been a bit better towards me at least. Maybe it will keep up and we’ll get back to where we were.. one can hope at least.

Fair. She has told me before that she’s said things just to purposely get at me, and even though I take it very seriously, I have started to see the pattern. It’s just really hard to not take it hard. No matter what she’s done, I’ve never threatened to leave her. I want the same treatment back, but I am seriously doubting it’ll ever get there. Maybe I do just call her bluff. Let her go, change the locks.. I just dk.

That is not so easy though.. I would financially crumble, and my son loves her too.. i don’t want that route yet, but I definitely don’t want the same. I definitely have already addressed the spending thing, and multiple times she’s said, we’re ***ed because of me aren’t we? So maybe this will be the end of that. I sure hope so.. As far as her boyfriend thing.. I don’t know. She didn’t bring it up today, but I feel like the last few times we talked about it I was very firm. I don’t want an open relationship, and I’m not comfortable with her spending time at her old FWBs house, period. If she brings it up again, I’m going to tell her that, and that if we want to establish healthy boundaries then we can talk about it through counseling. I doubt it will end well to be honest, but the fact that she hasn’t gotten so angry the last few times is good.

Thank you. I will try to say something like that the next time she brings it up. honestly, yesterday she seemed to be a bit better. And I felt love towards me even a few times. Even though she did bring it up again, she didn’t seem to get really mad and explode like I was expecting. But- she’s probably not done asking me.. ill say something g like your example next time it comes up, and see what kind of response I get. she likes to tell me she wants a divorce to get me to cave. She even plays it off really well, and I buy it every time. I hope she doesn’t try to play that card on this,