asena

i think u should ask him. Some people don‘t look for serious romantic partners on dating apps, which is odd but unfortunately a thing. Id be careful, he might be looking for a friends with benefits, so please just ask. U have nothing to lose

but it‘s not a joke. Someone who loves u, would not make jokes like that. She probably genuinely feels like that because i do remember doing something similar to my ex boyfriend. He would "take me out for valentines day“ and i‘d be the one paying, even though he made 3 times more money than me and 18 year old me didn‘t know how to handle this so with time i started to resent him for not being as masculine as he always says he is. Made a joke here or there, i don‘t know if it hurt his feelings but i sure wanted it to hurt back then. This behavior is immature and u should not have to deal with someone who can‘t communicate effectively. (i regret it, i learned, i am better now. Does not excuse my behavior one bit) Pls pls tell her that it hurts ur feelings and depending on her response, u can decide wether or not she cares.

tell her to stop watching too much SheraSeven and get off tiktok a bit. What she is saying is mean and she definitely isn‘t joking but that doesn‘t say anything about you or your masculinity.

thank u so much for all the responses. I just ended it 20 minutes ago. I wanted to speak about the things that have been bothering me and he started crazy driving and yelling at me 👍 and then just threw me out in the middle of nowhere and then texted me blaming me for it 👍 he is beyond help

no he isn‘t. He refuses to go to therapy

One would be him cancelling on me on my birthday, which i KNOW is because he is depressed. Another one would be last year when he was working a lot and we didn‘t really speak (apart from 5mins a day)or meet for 3-4 weeks straight because all he wanted to do in his free time was play video games. I know he was depressed then too. Or when he was depressed again and distant. I was on vacation and extremely anxious every single day and he didn‘t once make the effort to make me feel better. He apologized now for all of these things and i want to forgive him but i don‘t know how

Hey! I struggle a lot with forgiving my boyfriend for the things he has done in the past. I mean things that were genuine mistakes. I know that mistakes happen. We grow and we learn. I did many things wrong and i hope he has forgiven me but there are things i can‘t get over no matter how hard i try. He now is severely depressed and while i try to support him as much as i can, i feel resentment because i‘ve been giving my all and getting nothing back. I feel deeply deeply guilty for feeling this way. I am afraid that i will not be able to forgive him for the pain and confusion his situation has caused me but i want to forgive him. Now i wanted to ask, especially to the people that are already married and probably had to forgive their partners a lot. How do you do it? Do you keep talking about it? do you just forget about it or do you not forgive and just live with it?

Hey! I was in the same situation. My grades were absolutely horrid because i was too anxious to even attend my high school classes. I don‘t know where you are from but what i did was research. What do you want to do? what is fun to you? if that‘s not realistic with your grades, what is possible? I always wanted to study Psychology but my GPA (we call it NC in Germany) wasn‘t good enough, so i applied for educational science instead. If u want to go to Uni and have a family that will support it, there is always a way. I would definitely recommend not applying right away. You‘re struggling at school so you most likely will struggle at Uni too (im speaking from experience. Attending my classes is absolute hell bc of my anxiety and depression) Good luck and please don‘t stress too much.

That‘s a good idea! I think my mom knows what i do because she sees that i did those things. I always make sure that my parents don‘t have anything to do when they come home and my mom always tells me that she has so much to do after work when i am not there. That‘s why her calling me lazy and saying things like "u can at least do (something that i do everyday) and not lay down all day“, always catches me off guard. I never got any help for my eating disorder. It started really early for me so it was always normal until the bulimia started.

Thank you so much. I will try that. I have a hard time viewing the things that i do daily as accomplishments because i never thought about it like that. I did try meditating more and it really helps a lot.

i never looked into that but i‘ll try. My parents are very traditional and old school, they don‘t believe in mental health issues. The last time i tried opening up to my mom was in 2018 and i got hit with a "children are starving and dying“, so that‘s not an option unfortunately

i just need to let it all out. It feels like i can‘t get anything done and i am a failure. I am too anxious to attend my classes most of the time and getting on a train is a nightmare for me. I ***ed this semester up completely and have to study one more semester to make up for it and my parents are already so impatient. I feel like dying every single day and staying at home, doing my uni work from home, makes me feel even worse because my family won‘t take it seriously. My parents are at work and my sister is at school so i do all the house work. I drop my parents and my sister off at work and school, pick them up, i clean, i walk our dog two times, i make food, the groceries, the laundry and my school work on top. All this just to hear from my mom that i sit on my ass all day long and sleep, which just isn‘t true because i don‘t even get to sit down. I am so burned out and i don‘t have anybody to talk to because the only person that i do trust, my boyfriend, is very distant and depressed himself so i don‘t want to bother him with this stuff. I also gained 10kgs and relapsed. I‘ve been dealing with bulimia for 5 years and was in recovery for 2 years and now i am back on square 1. I have had disordered eating habits since i can remember and it has destroyed my middle school, my high school and now my college experience. I feel like i will never get better so i might as well just die. I genuinely don‘t know what to do anymore. There aren‘t any free therapy places nearby and i don‘t have the time to drive 1h+ with my schedule. I don‘t feel appreciated and i don‘t feel like anyone would care if i just died. I always thought that it doesn‘t matter if i am struggling and if i don‘t have anyone because i have my boyfriend but that‘s also not like that anymore. I don‘t think he cares anymore but i am too unstable to leave because he is all i have and he is also the only reason i am not self harming anymore because i don‘t want him to see it. I bend over backwards to see him as often as i can because I just want to feel loved but every time it‘s just disappointing and genuinely makes me want to kill myself I tried everything. I got back into spirituality, it saved me in 2020-2021 but even that wears me down. I just want to lay down and do nothing. I don‘t know what to do

Hello and thank you so much, i really appreciate your reply! I have asked him a couple of times about what he needs me to do and what i can do to help. Previously, before this depressive episode had started, he had many many before and when i would ask him what he needs from me, he would always say that he wants me to just act normal and that he does not need space and that he wants me to still speak to him and spend time with him. This time i asked him he said that this is very new to him and he doesn‘t know what i could do because he doesn‘t understand it himself. So i am very conflicted. I don‘t know if he wants me to be there or not because he won‘t tell me, so i usually just do an in between thing. I‘ll talk to him and when i feel like he is getting tired of it, i just let him be.

He always wanted to get as big as possible. It is absolutely not needed and i agree! I was never fond of that, however he had already started with testosterone before we met, which isn‘t necessarily bad, so i didn‘t think anything of it. (also bc i had absolutely no idea abt other PEDs that exist). He is impatient and doesn‘t care about his health but has told me that he wants to compete 1 time and then just not get any bigger.

Tbh i don‘t think he finds any comfort in exercising and he does it purely for aesthetics and for the competitions he wanted to participate in. The stuff he takes to be stronger and grow faster also doesn‘t help because he is pretty advanced so he takes a lot and that cannot be good but yes imo generally exercise can be good!