FailingForward

I (34f) would love some guidance on starting a conversation with my husband (30m) in which I intend to tell him that I need him to step up as the leader of the family. I admit I am a rather bold and independent woman. I have always been proud of this, but as I am getting older I am finding my desire to be led is growing. For context, I have always been the more serious partner while my husband is the more silly one. I feel as though I am the one making life happen. I am the one to sign our kids (two daughters, 11 and 4) up for sports, I am coaching, I handle school forms and supplies, I volunteer at daycare, I manage our schedules, I manage our finances (I'm the only one investing and the only one looking to build wealth and plan for retirement), if anything breaks in the house I am the one to fix it or call a specialist, I am the one to plan 98% of quality family time. If I don't plan a family activity or outing then we would all sit home watching television every day, and often I feel like he partakes in activities not because he wants to, but because I want him to. There really are no conversations deeper than "how was work today?" unless I initiate them, and even then it feels like a mostly one-sided conversation to me. I want to be fair, he does do his share of housework (dishes, vacuuming, laundry) and he works for himself doing construction. I am white collar and he is blue collar. But I feel like I work and do chores and then do so much more. I am feeling like I am the man of the house and it's making it hard to respect him, which makes it hard to feel connected to him, which makes it hard to be interested in sex or intimacy. He has a history of not receiving my feelings well, and while he has improved, I still find myself choosing to bite my tongue, and this is something I don't think I should continue biting my tongue about. I need him to hear me without being defensive. Please share your thoughts. I appreciate you very much, there is no where else I can be so transparent.