comfortablycumfy

I feel for you. I was once in a relationship where the other person wasn't in love with me. Liked me but never really loved me. I so wanted him to feel the same, I stayed and even prayed, just like you. Willing it to get better because it was all I wanted. Turned myself into something I wasn't, just to please....desperate for love and affection. Blaming myself for not being worthy enough, ugly, undesirable. Bending over backwards. The more I questioned, the more trouble I created. He would get defensive, feeling pressured. Of course I understand now..... like how do you tell someone you don't love them? 10 years for me to realise and accept that I had to let go.....It isn't real love. Please don't cling. Real love is out there waiting for you. Be strong and accept you will never make her love you. X

I see that all you guys get me. All your options register. I need to have the chat, without a doubt. Thank you.

So I'm not her therapist just to clear that up haha. She never needs advice other than how do I pay this, what does this letter mean, do you think this a good deal....will this plant do well in my garden...that kind of thing.

You are correct. I have reached a crossroad, hence looking for help out of the circle. This morning she called me. It took me all day to call back, simply because I didn't want to go down the usual route. To save the friendship, I need to convey my feelings whilst sparing hers.

Thank you for that suggestion.

We now spend a lot of time in the same circle and I find myself engaging in conversations with others, rather than sitting with her. I feel guilty about that.

Maybe it's how she is....

Strangely I do tap her gently...when she over speaks or says something out of context...it registers in the moment but she is a bit of a repeat offender haha.

I will try my best to guide her into how things work socially for the better. I just needed a little back up. Thank you guys so much.

Late 50s here. Just me and my Brother.

Pulling on my heart strings. I've lost all my elders. I understand 👍

Sorry to hear of your loss Sera. Sarah's husband died 2 years ago.

She is 73 and I am 56. So in the beginning it wasn't an issue...but over the last months my other friends are commenting....like how do you cope bla bla. She is still very sensitive. The truth is I'm not coping and I'm starting to dread spending time together. That's why I reaching out.

👍 ok