LadyA

I feel so much lighter and was able to do some things in my house that I’ve been putting off for the past several months. It felt so good! Thank you, @ShySoul.

Thank you. It’s interesting that while I’m very sad, I also feel this overwhelming relief. The blinders are off. He will never be satisfied with the life he’s living and will likely to continue to create this pattern with many others.

Yes, we’ve talked about it on at least two other occasions and knows how much it bothers me. I almost wonder if he did it on purpose to get under my skin. He’s repeated other behaviors that I told him bother me. This isn’t the first one. Gosh, what the heck have I been thinking?! And, I agree. He could have stepped away to call me back (or at least text me) if he was with a friend or his cousin. I’ve done that to talk with him when I’ve been out to eat with other people. It feels so disrespectful. And, I’ve been out with him when he’s rejected calls from another woman (who he said was a sales representative for a medical device). Why was she calling him repeatedly Friday night, Saturday morning and Sunday night (at least those are the calls I saw). I feel like he’s been playing me all along, and I chose to see and believe what I wanted, not what was real. 😔 Thank you.

And, especially to find out with your detective work that they lied… and it’s not that your intuition was off. Lied like it was no big deal. I am hurting and done. I need to process it/move through it and get to the other side. The signs have all been there, I (for some reason) decided to ignore them. Thank you.

My LDR boyfriend of 7 months (who I see in real life), traveled to Dallas on Thursday night so he could work at his partner’s office seeing patients since his partner was out of town. They each have medical practices in separate states. He told me he was going out for dinner with a “friend” Thursday night and then out for drinks with his cousin. I asked him if we were going to talk that night and HE said yes… that he would call between dinner and drinks. Well, he texted around 10pm that he was still at dinner. I called him an hour later and it went right to Voicemail. He has his phone set to go on Do not disturb automatically and it was set to that. I called again, because it will ring through on a second call, and he didn’t answer. So, I sent a text an hour later and noticed it didn’t go through. It was like he turned the power off to his phone or it ran out of battery. The message was pushed through the next morning around 9:15am and he texted me at 10:30am saying he’d call me after his next meeting. He called me back at 3:30pm and didn’t say a word about not calling the night prior when he said he would. We’ve talked about it on at least two other occasions, too. When I asked him what happened, he said he fell asleep at his cousin’s house and his cousin didn’t wake him up. He’s had similar shady behavior in the past. I explained that I thought he was going to call and that we’ve talked in the past about him not following through on his word. I also said I found his behavior very unattractive. He then said he knew we talked about it before. But no apology, nothing. He said that maybe I should call him back when I was in a better mood. I asked him if that was all he had to say and he said yes and that he didn’t like being chastised. He then went stone cold silent! No words, nothing. It felt like a staring contest. So, I said it seems we have nothing more to say and he said yes, have a nice day and we hung up. He also said he was seeing patients all morning. (Well, I called the office and no doctor was in the office that day, just the nurse practitioner. So, he wasn’t working at his partner’s office.) I didn’t even bring this up but clearly he lied! He’s told me that no doctor sees patients on Fridays. He hasn’t called me and I haven’t called him. I feel like I know that I need to let him go, but need some moral support. Any words of advice or encouragement would be appreciated.

@rainbowsandroses what’s the point of your question? I’m not pregnant and I wasn’t drinking alcohol. My lunch came up 9 hours after I ate it. It wasn’t immediately after I ate lunch. Stomach bug, food poisoning, heat exhaustion… whatever 🤷🏻‍♀️. I was sick and vomited a lot. Why would I automatically have to go the hospital for food poisoning? Are you a doctor? Why are you surprised? Again, what are you really asking here? Without knowing your true intentions, comments like these come off like a gaslight… fyi.

@yogacat I’m sorry this story isn’t reading right. I felt sick, abruptly left, HE followed me. I didn’t ask anyone to come with me as I was about to vomit. These questions of “how could I let him” take care of me seem nutty, too. 🤦🏻‍♀️ He found the closest bathroom for me, got me water and stood next to me while I waited for an Uber to pick me up/take me back to the hotel alone. He manned up and did the right thing considering the circumstances. I had vomit all over my dress, hair, legs. It’s not like he came back to my hotel room, got me in the shower and tucked me into bed. Whether he has a crush or not, he helped someone (me, in this case) when they were violently ill and vomiting. He wasn’t getting creepy with me. Geesh already with this …

@Batya33crush guy’s friend’s wife was there and in the photo, too. I honestly don’t think anyone made an inappropriate comment. It’s very likely that crush guy’s friend (who is also my friend) texted the photo to my bf. He wouldn’t text it to “tell on me”, but to say “hey buddy, look who’s with us”. There was no inappropriate behavior. Crush guy had told me he found me attractive 2 months earlier. Crush guy’s friend likely wouldn’t know that.. but who knows. I appreciate you trying to help.

@LotusBlack thank you. Yes, this behavior is so unattractive. I really wish it were different, but have to accept reality. Thank you. These are the words I need to hear. If he reaches out, I may talk to help me get closure. This relationship is too new to have this much of a problem.

@Coilythank you. I honestly don’t think it’s crush guy. Crush guy doesn’t have his contact, at least not that I’m aware of. Crush guy is married btw. I think his friend (also in the photo) sent it to him. Even more of a turn off for me. Tells me I’m attractive when he’s married. Right now, I feel way more at peace. I was sad, hurt, but the blocking thing… makes no sense. I’m not aggressive with reaching out and it comes across as a childish move. I’m still sad but I really need space from him right now. Thank you for writing. Your insights are helpful and help me not to feel alone with this.

@rainbowsandroses thabk you. I think you’re right. I’m not sure why he’d even call and then hang up fast and then block me. What’s the point in that if he doesn’t really want to talk? It’s almost like a punishment. I appreciate your kind and honest words. 🥹

@TeeDee thank you for your reply. Hopefully we can talk. He’s definitely avoiding me and it really seems like he’s blocked me. I wish he could find it in him to have an adult conversation about this rather than beat around the bush, be passive aggressive. It’s information, but seriously turning me off. I called him every night from my room while I was on that trip once in bed. FaceTime him multiple times. Meanwhile, he goes on trips without me to Las Vegas, Mumbai, etc without me and doesn’t call me at night. He’ll even tell me that he’s out late, dancing and drinking. Who knows what else?