salley

I really want to thank you so much for this. I have been thinking about this reply from you a lot and i genuinely appreciate it so much. Reading the replies here genuinely has helped open my eyes a little bit more. I haven‘t spoken about it with him yet because i have been dreading it but i want to leave, i deserve to be taken out. Genuinely thank you so so much! I hope u have a wonderful day

Thank you for your responses I usually have a hard time keeping my word and just distancing myself when it comes to him because he will do this and then be the sweetest person in other areas but i do know that that does not excuse a thing and just enables his behavior. Im thinking about telling my parents about this because it‘s just very embarrassing. That will force me to just leave him out of embarrassment.😂

yes, i know that this is partially my fault because i never asked for it in the beginning and he never knew until a year ago that i have a problem with just staying in (which personally i don‘t think EVERYTHING has to be communicated all the time because ofc i want to go outside) but yes it was 10-11 times and this year we were out 2 times.

they go to bars and the gym usually. They‘ll also go swimming, eat out and all that stuff. His friends r both single. One of them i know well-ish and i don‘t really like him because he is always either high or drunk and the other one i barely know, so i can‘t really say much.

I usually am either at school, work or spending time with my sister and the rest of my family

That‘s what I am trying to do. I keep telling him places i would like to go. It‘s my birthday soon and i suggested his gift to me could be a day at an entertainment park that he would plan for me. I‘ll see how that goes.

That‘s probably part of the problem! He‘s my very first boyfriend and i don‘t have any experience apart from this, so i don‘r really know what‘s normal and what isn‘t. I could try asking him to just do it and to take turns, that‘s a really good idea.

Yes thank you for this! I usually don‘t think much about it because it makes me anxious, so i just let it be but when I do think about it, i realize that this isn‘t what i want. That‘s probably why i contradict myself a little bit.

Hey! I (21F) am in a long term relationship with my boyfriend w my boyfriend (22M). We started dating when I was 18 and he was 19. Since he didn‘t have a car or his license yet and didn‘t have much money, i never minded just meeting at his place. I also never minded paying for him when we DID go out or just paying myself, even though i was also super broke but i put money to the side for when we did go outside. We maybe, in total in 3 years, went outside 10 times max. It usually is my idea to go outside. I will tell him to go places with me, invite him to run errands with me or suggest where to go. He did maybe once? and that was a thing of "hey let‘s go there but i don‘t know what to do rlly“. Which is fine but not ALL the time. I personally don‘t mind planning or my boyfriend not planning all the time but he never ever planned anything for me. Now he has his license, a car and makes quite a bit of money (i am mentioning this because I always excused this behavior thinking oh he doesn‘t have a car and not much money but now he does and he still only wants to meet at his parents place). I also thought that maybe he just does not know what i like but i always suggest places we could go to but we never actually go because he never plans anything and I am the one who has to ask him. I told him that him only wanting to meet at his place (which gets boring after a few hours because there isn‘t much to do) does not make me feel appreciated and loved. I told him that i get bored after a while and all he says is that he does not know what to do about it and that he doesn‘t know what I like (like i said, i suggest places ALL the time and i love all kinds of food. I am pretty easy to please and when he is struggling financially, I‘ll pay for us both, he knows that). However, when he is with his friends, they‘ll go places. He is a homebody with me but not with them. I just don‘t rlly know what to do or if i should even accept this because this isn‘t what i want. I still love him a lot and want it to work out. Am i making a big deal out of something that isn‘t actually a big deal?