r123ok

I was with my (now ex) partner for around 2 years until we had an argument a couple of months ago and they started to ignore or 'ghost' me with no real explanation. I hadn't been taking it very well because I was very much in love with him and we were getting on very well until that point. I've felt quite depressed and lonely since. I had given up hope of ever hearing from them again but last week, out of the blue he got back in touch and said he was wondering how I was and whether I wanted to meet up for the evening. I was pretty lonely & depressed still not having got over it properly and said yes - went over and it was as if nothing had changed. We had a lovely time and I felt so happy and relaxed for the first time in months. I asked if he would want to perhaps meet again soon, and he said he would like to, but "just as friends for now". This was last Thursday and I haven't heard anything since. I am so happy to have him back in my life, but looking for some advice really on what to do next. I would like to meet up with him again possibly at the weekend, but don't know if he is interested in that way. The "for now" suggests he would like to pick things up again relationship-wise at some point - but do I send him a message, or wait for him to message me? I don't want to appear clingy or overbearing but also can't stop thinking about him and the good times we've shared.

Thank you all for your kind words, The other thing that's also worrying me and getting me down is that feeling of loneliness. I'm quite an introverted person and don't have many friends, and we would see each other regularly and have fun out which is something I'd never found anyone to do with before. Now that he's apparently gone I feel incredibly lonely and don't even know where to start getting any company or friendship. I can't get that thought and feeling of loneliness away and it doesn't help with current feelings of depression, etc.

@rainbowsandroses yes I messaged to say it would mean a lot to me if he could message me so that we could talk and know what’s going on. It was read and not replied to, and yes have seen that he’s active

Sorry if I’m overstaying my welcome on this thread, but I thought it may help if anyone has any words or advice on how I’m doing with this, still have heard nothing and I’m slowly coming around to the idea that I may never (still quite emotional about it all, so maybe that’s why it’s taking me time?) Its hard not knowing why someone would seemingly end a relationship after 2 years of everything being so happy, to just throw that away with no explanation is something I don’t think I’ll ever understand. Right now I’m struggling with next steps. It still makes me very sad all the time and takes all of my strength to get out of bed in the morning and try and carry on my day as normal. I’m trying to distract myself but nothing seems to work, and the thought of being with someone else makes me feel sick (I suppose that changes with time?) You’ve all been so kind with your advice so far and I’m not sure if or how to begin moving on, and how to deal with this sadness

I would usually go over regularly, so I don't think it was for any particular purpose or talk, it was just when we would see each other. This is what I don't understand, I get people needing a few hours or even maybe a day or two, but at this point it's really got me down thinking I'll never hear from him again. I would like to be done feeling this way but I find it hard to control. As I say I've tried distracting myself and doing other things but the feeling is always there making me break down and I can't seem to escape it at the moment. I won't get over this quickly or easily at all, I'm the kind of person who's in a relationship for the companionship, love and long term and this will hurt for a while I think 😞

I only knocked a few times and no one complained

Yes I was invited over, I would never turn up uninvited. I'm trying to distract myself and do other things, but nothing seems to be able to work and I just find myself breaking down @rainbowsandroses thank you that's very kind of you! I don't have a lot of friends or close friends, I have tried to talk with a couple of them but they are either too busy or only want to talk very quickly. He was the one person I felt I could talk to openly, another reason why I guess I'm struggling. This is helping to be able to talk to people who listen and can understand my situation

@rainbowsandroses Thank you I appreciate your advice and it does hit home. I do understand that people do need space sometimes, but how long before space turns into just not wanting to talk to me ever again? I do find it difficult to self soothe and am taking this very badly. I do hope that he could come back and message with some explanation because it hurts a lot just to stop a 2 year relationship just like that, with no contact or explanation at all. I don’t think I could handle having to find someone else and go through it all again. @MissCanuck he didn’t say anything. Just let me in and walked away not talking to me, so I went to bed assuming he didn’t want to talk right now. Out of interest, why did you ask about the neighbours? @LotusBlack thank you so much for sharing, I’m sorry that happened to you and it’s helpful to know that others experience or have experienced what I’m feeling now @LotusBlack yes this is absolutely what I feel now. I can’t eat, can’t sleep, constantly feel that I could break down and cry at any moment and nothing seems to be able to distract from this. I’m not sure how to deal with it rather than not holding it all in and to keep hoping that something good will happen that takes this pain away, and hope that it won’t last forever, even though it feels it might Thank you all for your replies, it helps being able to talk to others about what I’m going through

Yes what you've listed is right. I'll be honest with you - I have so many feelings going on right now about this and maybe strangely not one of them is anger, maybe that's why I still want to stay with him? I feel extremely anxious, upset and scared - and also scared of the possibility of having to start again. I'm not the most confident or outgoing person, so finding a partner for me has been a chore and not easy and has taken a long time - and after finding someone where we understand each other and are compatible & like each other - it's difficult for me to want to start that whole thing again, and difficult for me to accept that he could throw all of this away without any contact. I am currently struggling to deal with all of these emotions - have tried speaking with some friends, distracting myself with other activities etc. but currently nothing seems to be working and I feel like I could break down at any moment Sorry for the long reply but I thought I would be a bit more open, as you & others here have been so helpful so far and it's so nice to be able to talk about this

Because I still have very strong feelings for him, and I know it would make me happy and take all of these negative feelings and pain away.

I do still regularly talk to and see my own friends, the relationship never stopped that. This is something new - definitely has never stopped communication with me for this long before. I am waiting out of hope that this doesn't have to end and I don't have to keep going through this pain for much longer. Maybe that's not the best way of doing it, but the thought that he may still come back and respond is keeping me going

We saw and hung out with one of them last Friday I think it was

Yes I've met I think 2 of the neighbours and some of his friends too

Thank you, it is very hard but I won't send any more. I'll wait in hope that he does come back to me some day - I will struggle in the meantime, but I suppose there's nothing that can be done about that

It was after. I'm not sure exactly why he needs space because any message gets read with no reply. I've tried to respect that and give space, only sending a message asking if we could talk this morning (it was read & not replied to) I really don't want it to be over, he has become a very big and important part of my life and I'm holding on out of hope if nothing else - I don't know what I'd do if it were to end 😞 am really struggling with managing this