wsddddddd

Thank you, that really helps me. She said she wanted space and sort of didn’t want to talk to me until the morning, so I’m wondering what the reason for that could be? She did call me after but it was only 3-5 minutes and she didn’t tell me everything, there’s more but she wants space right now. I think if everything was fine she’d be speaking to me, so I’m worried about what she’d rather be doing now. Is it valid to want reassurance too because I think she might say I don’t trust her and get upset if I ask for it?

My girlfriend just came back from clubbing with her friends at around 4am and told me she was mad. She said that when she was trying to order a drink, some guy came up to her and bent down and kissed her hand. She told me that after that she said “excuse me I have a man”, and the guy said he had a girlfriend and just wanted friends, which is weird, obviously he didn’t. I’m pissed off by this naturally, and it’s caused me to overthink. I feared something like this would happen and was worried about her clubbing so late ever since 1am when she didn’t text me until 4. She said she didn’t because her phone was on 1% the whole night. She didn’t even sound drunk when she called me after, which I guess is good. It just pisses me off that someone kissed her hand on her first clubbing night out already. It’s just going to make me stress about other guys every time she goes now. I went the other day and didn’t even talk to girls there, just danced with my guy friends, so I’m worried. She said she stuck with her female friend because a guy was being weird trying to talk to her the whole time, which is fair. I know she likely didn’t expect it and didn’t want it, so I don’t want to get upset at her or say the wrong thing. But I’m overthinking about things like what if she secretly enjoyed the kiss/attention or something else happened too? At the same time I don’t want to believe that because I seem like a ***. Obviously I wouldn’t tell her or confront her about it, but it’s just on my mind and my heart’s beating fast and I can’t sleep now. She ended the phone call and said we’ll talk more in the morning. we spoke a little after and she was being a little cold, but she said she wanted to sleep and we’d talk more in the morning. I told her I feel like *** and her being cold makes me more upset as it feeds into my overthinking, but she said I’m not the only one that feels like that, so I can see she didn’t want the kiss on the hand. She realised I’m upset but she said I’d understand later, and I said I already do because she didn’t want or expect it, but she said she wants space and doesn’t want to talk right now. What could this mean, my mind snaps to her reconsidering me and thinking about being with him or texting him or something? How do I deal with this?

Small update - I asked again about the party and she said she wasn't going anymore. I also told her about missing her birthday and she said it's okay, but you know when they say they're okay, but they're actually not? I think that's the case because her tone seems off. She might be a little upset but she should understand. Thank you to everyone for reassuring me that it wouldn't be the end of the world and that it shouldn't be that hard. I feel much better and see it as more simple now. That's what a lot of people on other forums said. That she was just being nice and at the end of the day she was on the phone with me when we got home and she didn't cheat. She's been even more affectionate in fact. Even took me out for lunch last week and paid for it. We also went out with her best friend and a guy friend and I left first because I was going a different way. She told me on the phone later that when they were saying bye the best friend gave him a hug, but my girlfriend didn't and she even told me it was a bit awkward, but she didn't do it because she "knows how I get" so it was kind of funny. I honestly wouldn't have even had a problem with it since the guy is a friend of both of us and we've known him from even before we dated, so it's not like he was flirting with her or anything. Oh yeah of course, we always text and facetime. It's the birthday I hope she's not too upset about, but I know I made the right choice. I just hope she doesn't change her mind and go to the party now just out of spite that I won't make her birthday, but I can tell that's me overthinking and being silly. Thanks to everyone again for all the help, I appreciate it!

Pretty much, she can get a boyfriend soon after but I'll probably not be able to get a gf again. I'll feel really lonely too, I'm happy when we go out on dates and she comes over and stuff like that. I don't know. She's been really affectionate and we've sort of "gotten over" what happened back then, so I'm not sure what to do.

Thank you to everyone. I really don't know what to do now. She's been approached by numerous guys since then and she's rejected them all. Someone even came up to her today and she told me she said she had a boyfriend, which is good I guess. A guy that approached her a few weeks ago tried hugging her and she said she denied the hug. I wanted to ask why couldn't she do it at the party then, but I made a promise not to bring it up again since she said it reminded her of how uncomfortable she was. She said she was just being nice after the first time we spoke to the guy, and said on a couple of occasions that he was weird. I'm not mad about the hug since peer pressure and her repeatedly saying she didn't want it and was uncomfortable is fair enough. She also said the instagram thing was in the moment and he asked her for it, which I understand. Girls have asked for my instagram too before and it did feel awkward for me to say no so I gave it, but in my case they were people I'd met from a work experience program, and they weren't from a party trying to flirt with me. I did have trust that she was uncomfortable after and it made me feel better. It's at moments that my mood swings and I look at it in the upsetting "she cheated" way. It's also our 1 year and 2 months today, so breaking up with her right now feels wrong. She also frequently talks about our children and us getting married and stuff, which is cute I guess. A lot of people said I should trust that she was uncomfortable, which I do, and that the party thing wasn't even that big of a deal since she was just being nice, and at the end of the day she called me when she got home after and didn't cheat on me. I will be going back to family, that's for sure, it's just the missing her birthday bit that I'm concerned about but I still haven't told her so I guess I'll write back after I tell her; she might understand hopefully. Man I really thought I was over it. I feel like I can't get myself to do it because we're each others' first and I'd be way less happy without a girlfriend, plus I feel like I can't get one again. Thanks again to everybody, and sorry as I'm really torn on what to do right now.

Something happened at a party we went to a while ago where a guy was trying to flirt with her and she was laughing at everything he was saying and talking to him, gave him a hug goodbye, and added him on instagram after so it kind of created trust issues with me now. You've both probably seen the post I made on it last month. Maybe I'm too jealous but I felt hurt and I was reconsidering our relationship after that. She later called him weird and that he made her uncomfortable, even though it really didn't look like it to me. He was the one who went for the hug and she later said she didn't want it and gave into peer pressure. I didn't want to be an insensitive a-hole so I decided to trust that she was actually uncomfortable and moved on, but I definitely lost some trust from that day on because she looked interested in him to me. I still feel bad every time I think about it, and now when I'm not there I don't know what she might do (God forbid if the guy from that party happens to know the host and be there as well, highly unlikely though). So that's why I'm worried - from that past experience.

I normally go to my home country each summer for about a month, but since I got a girlfriend last year it's become an emotional hassle to go back because she doesn't like me going away and being long distance for a few weeks to a month because she misses me, especially in the summer when we can go out in the hot and have the most fun. So this year I was planning to go a bit later, stay half of summer here and to go back to see family for the rest of august into the start of september. However, my sister, nephew, niece, extended family and all my relatives live in my home country and I've explained to her that they haven't seen me in a year, while she's been seeing me every few days this whole year and to think about how they'd feel. I am going back for at least 2 weeks for the rest of august, but I'm worried because she's going to an apartment party while I'll be gone and there's a worry in me since I won't be there incase anyone tries flirting with her. Also, her birthday is on the 3rd of Sept, so I wanted to be back in just above 2 weeks, but I just learnt that my sister is giving birth on the 2nd, so I have to stay for a couple more days to see the baby and be with them. I know the right choice is to stay with my sister, but I'm a bit worried about how my girlfriend would react. How do I feel with all this stress when I'm supposed to relax and be on holiday?

Not really, we're each other's first so my best guess is that it's based off of social media and stuff she's been influenced by, or insecurity. I reassure her at times when she says she's insecure, but I'm not sure if it really helps.

We were just talking about our days and I casually mentioned it like it was nothing but a part of my day. I thought I might as well tell her because there wasn't anything wrong with it and she shouldn't have got jealous, but I was wrong haha. Thank you to everyone for the replies! She quickly got over it and wasn't upset the next morning, so I'd say it was an overreaction in the moment.

The other day I was talking to a friend who I'd met at an event. She told me she was from Ghana and to be funny/carry on the conversation I told her I had plantain the day before. We had a conversation about cultural foods that I thought was a funny and nice interaction, but when I was telling my girlfriend about the conversation with her later that night, she got upset at me saying I was flirting with her. I first didn't take it seriously because how is talking about food I ate flirting, but she went on to say that even if I didn't think I was flirting she sees it differently and I could've flirted unitentionally. She even said she was going to do the same and talk with another guy for me to see how it felt, which I see as toxic - but I think she wasn't being serious, plus I doubt she'd actually do it. I told her I didn't have that intention and it was literally just basic, platonic small talk and I was trying to be funny/relatable to my african friends by telling them I had plantain. It also wasn't just her and I'd told my other friends that I'd had plantain too as a sort of funny, half-joking flex, but she saw it as me flirting with others too. I also told her I'd get it if I complimented her or asked for her number, which would be flirting/cheating, but I didn't and regardless I'll never even be seeing her again because it was an event. She then said I was calling her crazy and didn't care about her feelings. I said I understood how she felt because I've felt the same, but there was no reason to be upset because I didn't flirt and I was literally talking about myself/food. I tried to tell her she should trust me and that me having a conversation about foods with the opposite gender isn't flirting and I didn't have that intention. After all of this I feel guilty and apologised to her. Am I wrong for talking to that girl?