Anon5392845

Thanks for your response! I definitely agree that people pleasing is a me issue and I've been working on it a lot through college. I appreciate your input that this is a mild prank. Despite what it seems in my post there's a lot of jokes/pranking that I do with other friends and I'm usually more thick skinned than this. The more I look at it though, there's been other signs that these specific friends don't think very highly of me and I think this may have been my final straw. Nobody drank and drove. We all spent the night and drove home sober the next morning.

I appreciate your concern. We spent the night so no body drove drunk, we all left the next morning after we had sobered up. I also drink/take an edible about every other weekend so I'm not smoking heavily or drinking every day. I understand we may have different perspectives but I'm far from an addict and I'm honestly content with my level of usage. But I do agree this is something that will stay in my early twenties and I will definitely cut down as I get older.

We spent the night at my friends apartment so nobody drove drunk. We sobered up and went home the next morning. I definitely agree I need to stop people pleasing. I've done a lot of soul searching in college and I've gotten better at it but I still have a lot of work to do. I have friends from college who I'm really close to who I know love and respect me, so I won't be friendless if I cut these people off. I also definitely feel that I have outgrown these friends. There's been other incidents where they were immature, not at my expense but just in general. And I've definitely had thoughts about putting less effort into the friendships or leaving entirely because I don't want to bother with them anymore. I think I'll probably just focus on my friends I do feel are worth putting effort into a relationship for.

Thank you for your response! I do have really close friends from college and post college who love and respect me, so I luckily won't be friendless if I cut these people off. I like what you said about being picky with my friends. I was worried I was potentially cutting people off over something stupid. But I think I've honestly just outgrown them and it's better to only keep people who add value to my life then to keep people for the sake of not cutting them off.

Thank you so much for your response! I know that if I told them what they did hurt me they would feel really bad and apologize. I guess I'm more worried that if they think so poorly of me it's not worth maintaining the friendship. For context these are people I've known since highschool, but we all went to different colleges so this is the first time we're all back in the state together and we're working to reconnect. I did open up to them, and was my full self with them so this caught me off guard because they never seemed to look down on me before a few days ago. I have much better friends from college and post college who I know respect me. So I guess I just need to do some soul searching and figure out of this is worth bringing up to them, or if it's a deal breaker for me and I should just not bother reconnecting.

Hi everyone, thank you in advance for reading. And sorry this is kind of long, I'm still processing things and I'm rambling a bit. A few nights ago my friends and I were all hanging out at one of their apartments. I drove one of my friends to the hangout and we got there last. Pretty quickly after I got there one of them handed me an edible and said they had all already taken one. We get high pretty frequently together so this wasn't out of the ordinary. I ate the edible and got a drink. Then we all sat on the couch and started talking about life etc. I drank my drink pretty fast and I've become a lightweight since college so I had a nice buzz going and felt that warm fuzzy feeling in my head and my chest. I also get anxiety and I'm pretty tense usually so after the drink I had loosened up and was feeling more giggly/comfortable. After a while they asked me if I was feeling the edible and I said yes because I assumed the start of it had kicked in with my drink. We were all giggly so I assumed everyone else was feeling the weed/alcohol too. They started laughing at me and told me it wasn't actually an edible just a regular peach ring, and that they thought if they gave it to me and lied about it, then I would lie and pretend I was high. I was trying to defend myself and the friend that I drove also defended me and said it was probably the alcohol. But nobody else believed me. For some outside perspective, my brother recently got diagnosed with autism and ADHD and I suspect I might be neurodivergent as well. I was definitely always the weird kid and struggled socially. As I got older I diminished my personality and began mirroring other people, and people began to like me more. However, when I opened up, sometimes they would still get weirded out and pull away. Because of this I tend to be a people pleaser and agree a lot. I also have a lot of ADHD symptoms like being clumsy, struggling with directions /spatial skills and struggling to talk coherently. My friends have always made fun of me for this stuff but it seemed to be in good fun and I'd rib on them back so I never felt too put down by it. I guess I just want an objective opinion on what to do from here because I don't really know what to think. Part of me feels like I'm overreacting because the prank hit something that's a big insecurity to me. Nobody has reached out to apologize and they don't seem to think they've done anything but a silly prank. I also played it off at the hangout so I never told them how much it hurt me. But the other part of myself is so embarrassed because I can't see why they would do that except to put me down and embarrass me. Like I said I'm a people pleaser and tend to mirror other a lot so I can see why they'd think that of me. But the fact that they think I'm so pathetic really hurts. It also makes me worry that they talk badly about me when I'm not around and I'm the butt of their jokes.