Well I felt like an anxiety attack coming on, I just wanted to get out. Like I just couldn't be there anymore.
Since coming back the next day we've been talking a lot. She understands everything she did to hurt me. I really didn't see how she thought what she was doing was OK, but she admitted it wasn't. I told her to think about what she wants. I do love her, I do love the life we've built, and I don't really want to lose it or her, but I laid down everything I want and expect. I told her now is her opportunity to do what she wants, where she wants, with whomever she wants. She said she wants to try to work it out. I told her that her expectation of privacy is gone, and it will take a long time to build back the trust she threw away, and she said she understands. She seems to be doing the things I said she needs to do, and that she knows she needs to do, but it's only been a few days.
Just trying to take one day at a time. Our talks have made me feel better, so we'll see I guess. If we do end up staying together and this happens again, then it's on me. I do believe in second chances but we'll see.