ajackx

First of all, I would like to say thank you to everyone here for their advice. I have read everything carefully, and I've definitely learned a lot that I'll be taking into my future relationships. I think this situation is pretty much coming to a conclusion for now. I know we're not supposed to check our ex's socials because nothing good comes from that, but I did, and it seems like she's moving on, or at least acting like it. I didn't find anything too concerning, but she has followed a lot of guys since coming back from her trip three days ago. It kind of looks like she's doing a speed run of what she missed out on, lol. Well, I won't be hurting myself any longer by checking up on her, and I will continue to take care of myself. Nothing good will come from lamenting or waiting around for her to contact me. I'll hold my ground and not reach out to her. If she wants to in the future, she can, but I won't be waiting around for it any longer. But talking it out with you all definitely helped, thank you.

So, I think she's been back for a couple of days now. Our last contact was two weeks ago when she called me at midnight, and I returned the call the next day, but there was no answer. I was hoping she would call me once she returned from her trip, but she hasn't reached out. I'm not sure whether she's waiting for me to call her or if she's just over the relationship. I thought that since I was the last one to call, she would return the call. Most of the advice that I have gotten from friends is to wait for a call.

Highly doubt it. I spoke to a friend who suggested that I give her a call and just leave it at that—no need to send a text or have an unnecessary conversation over text that isn’t needed right now. My friend mentioned that it’s likely she won’t pick up, but if her call was genuine, she will call back. This also puts the ball in her court since I didn’t ignore her call. What I think is happening is that she’s breadcrumbing me throughout her trip. She knows this is a long trip of almost two months, and I might move on, so she keeps texting or calling sporadically to stay on my mind until she gets back and we can have a real conversation in person. She probably doesn’t want to have a conversation over the phone, and she knows that texting won’t lead to anything substantial either, so this is just her way of keeping me engaged.

Update: Since her text on the 3rd, it’s been pretty quiet. She unblocked me on Instagram but changed it to restricted lol, which I didn’t even know people used that restricted feature. Last week, she blocked me on WhatsApp for a few days, even though we weren’t even talking. Yesterday (the 17th), she called at midnight (probably morning or afternoon for her), but I didn’t pick up. Now I’m unsure where to take it from here. Should I call her back, text, or wait? I’m considering sending, "Saw your call. What’s up?" but don’t want to seem too eager. Thoughts? She gets back from this trip she has been on in about a week.

Update: After a week of no text, I just received this from her: "I still question reality at times. Wondering how the f*** I got involved with someone as toxic as you." I still haven't responded to it yet, thinking if I should just leave it alone and wait for her to get back from her vacation and set up something in person. Or should I just call her? But I don't think she is going to pick those up. I was thinking about responding with, "Hey, this isn't healthy for either of us. Let's just hop on a call and talk this out." Something like that.

Hey everyone, I’m (28M) looking for some advice on a confusing situation with my ex-girlfriend (26F). We’ve been dating for a couple of months and had great chemistry. Everything was going well until she found explicit photos from my ex on my phone. These photos were sent to me four months before I started dating my current girlfriend. However, she saw them and also found out I was still casually talking to my ex. This led to a big argument and ultimately a breakup 25 days ago. Since then, my ex-girlfriend, let’s call her Sam, has been traveling to see her family for a month and a half. We’ve only been communicating through text, where she’s expressed anger, hurt, and confusion. She left for her trip 20 days ago and will be back in 3-4 weeks or so. Recently, Sam has started calling me but staying silent on the phone. This has happened multiple times; she calls, I answer, but she doesn’t say anything and eventually hangs up. I’ve tried talking to her during these calls, reminiscing about good times, but she still remains silent. I apologized over text, but she wasn’t receptive to it. I’m genuinely sorry for my mistake, have blocked my ex, and deleted all the photos, but it feels like Sam is testing me or seeking some kind of reassurance that I’m not sure how to provide through these silent calls. Additionally, she has been playing this game of on/off blocking. Sometimes she blocks me then unblocks me, but she has me permanently blocked on social media. I’m confused about what she wants from these silent calls and how I should handle them. I’ve tried setting boundaries by letting her know I’m here to talk whenever she’s ready, but these calls continue without any real conversation. I want to respect her feelings and give her the space she needs, but I also need to set limits for my own peace of mind. Is she possibly testing to see if I haven’t moved on or something? Has anyone else experienced something similar? How should I handle these silent calls? Any advice on how to move forward would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance!

I mean, I shouldn't say I didn't try. I really did try to save it. The day it happened, we were on our way back from a date when she noticed the text message on my phone. We had an argument, and she ended up Ubering home. I went to her place the next day to try to resolve things, but it didn't work out. Then she came over to my house for the last time, and that's where we ended up breaking up. She isn't answering the phone any longer and is just arguing with me over text. I told her, 'Let's meet up in person and try to resolve it,' but she just ignores it. I don't want to show up at her place unannounced. Maybe that's what she wants, but I don't know. It doesn't feel right. The only communication I've been getting is over text, but the conversation is just running in circles, so I'm just going to go no-contact. Plus, she is now traveling to see family for a month, so I think this situation is pretty much done for.

So there has been quite a bit of development to this story for those interested. Me and her are kind of broken up now. She found out that I was still having ongoing casual conversations with my ex over text, and my ex was still sending me memes on Instagram. She said this was cheating and broke up with me for talking to another girl while we were dating. Lol, the irony. Obviously, the convos were very casual. Yes, it was my fault for responding, and now I will be better and let my next partner know beforehand. But yeah, that's basically what happened. She found out I was still sorta friends with my ex and dumped me. I think I could have saved it if I tried, but... I don't know. I will miss her. She was very sweet and full of life, always made me feel loved. But yeah, there were all these other things too. I guess I'll get over it. Going through that post-breakup thing right now. Food is helping, lol, but I gotta stop before I gain 20 lbs. Hitting the gym today.

Yeah, it is kinda like OnlyFans but more focused on messaging. A lot of the people on the app are x-rated creators. She might be one of the rare ones on the app that is only doing PG-13 content, I mean there are others too I just haven't spent enough time going through the app. Lol, I would never pay for anything like this either, but I guess there are super desperate guys out there who would pay to talk to someone as attractive as her. All the photos seem to be just modeling photos and everyday stuff, like what she's doing. She even sends out photos of family members sometimes, like her grandma. There was a time she was at her grandma's birthday party and sent out a photo of her to some guy. That's pretty weird to me too. Like, why send strangers photos of your family? We don't even know who these people are.

So I managed to get a look at some of the chats. I told her I was a bit uncomfortable not knowing what was going on in there, so she let me go through the chats. Most of the time, it's just about what she's doing throughout her day. Sometimes, she's sending out things like 'Hey, look at my outfit,' and when she sends a photo like that, it's usually blurred, and they can choose to pay to unblur the photo to see it. She does get those people that are very flirty, so she would just say something like 'You are so silly' and change the topic. I did notice one chat, and this happened when I took her on a date that day. She told them that she's going out with a friend. That kind of upset me.

Hey everyone, I've (28M) been seeing this girl (26F) for a few weeks now, and everything has been going great. We have amazing chemistry, and we really like each other. However, there's something about her job situation that's been bothering me, and I could use some advice. She's extremely pretty and does modeling here and there for various companies. She also has a small business where she picks up gigs, though she doesn't seem to get a lot of work, but she's trying. On top of that, she walks dogs for extra income. But the thing that really stood out to me is that she's on this app where people (mostly guys) have to pay to talk to her. Basically, she gets paid per character for responding to messages. I don't know how much she makes from this, but it doesn't seem like a lot. These guys can also request photos from her in the chat, and she usually sends them pictures from her modeling gigs. She doesn't do anything nude, just selfies, fit check videos, and similar content. She told me that if the conversation starts to get sexual, she steers it away and keeps things light. They can also subscribe to her page to get access to her modeling photos. It's not like OnlyFans, but a lot of people on the site are very sexual OnlyFans-like creators. She describes her content as very "PG-13." She also mentioned that she doesn't plan on doing this forever and that it pays the bills for now. I'm a bit uncomfortable with her spending so much energy talking to these guys. She says it's very transactional and that she sees it as just another part of her job. She has a decent online following, in the tens of thousands, and a lot of these people are fans of her modeling content who come to this app to talk to her. I'm not sure how to feel about this. Would you date someone who gets paid to talk to people online? How would you handle this situation? Thanks in advance for your advice.

I mean, she told me to text her when I got home, which I did. Then she sent me a photo of us holding hands, and I replied with 'saving this to my camera roll.' After that, I said, 'Get some rest, good night.' I didn't want to double text the next day, so I was kind of waiting for a response, which I never got.

Do you guys think I should clarify the situation with her or just cut her off? We have a date tomorrow, but since Tuesday when we hung out in the evening, I haven't heard back from her. Today is Friday afternoon. I was going to call today to confirm, but I'm having second thoughts. I'm not into playing games.

I (29M) have known this person (25F) for about 5 years. We initially met for work and had a couple of brunches discussing work- related matters. Over the years, we've stayed connected online, occasionally chatting here and there. A few months ago, I replied to one of her stories, and she asked if I was single. I said yes, so she suggested we meet up. At the time, I was a bit busy, but we stayed in touch, and a couple of months later, we decided to go on a date. The date went really well; we were affectionate, kissed, and she immediately asked about a second date when I was dropping her off. However, she's mentioned that she's not good at texting, and while we initially had frequent back-and-forth communication in the beginning stages, it has reduced a bit since our first date. We still call each other every 2-3 days, but I feel like the communication has decreased. Recently, she called me asking for help setting something up, and during that call, she asked what I was doing that night. We ended up spending time together, and she was very affectionate, saying she really liked me. But in a previous conversation, she mentioned not wanting a relationship this year as she wants to focus on her business, as she works for herself and deals with many clients. I really like her and want to be in a relationship with her, but I'm not sure how to handle these mixed signals. She's taking photos of us holding hands, spending a lot of time with me, and expressing affection, but then also mentioning being FWB. We have another date planned in a couple of days, but I haven't heard from her since our last meeting which was 2 days ago. I'm planning to call her today to see what she's up to, but I'm unsure if she prefers less frequent communication or if there's something else going on. How should I navigate these mixed signals and clarify our relationship expectations on our upcoming date? Our last date where she called me over; we got food and went to the waterfront and cuddled. She was all over me and just kept hugging me and holding hands and says she loves being around me. We have been kissing a lot but then she says things like fwb :( She only said it once over a call but it kinda stood out. Then she goes and says she loves that im an emotional guy and how much she feels safe around me. like what does she want lmao