Callia

It came up in my feed when I was browsing this site.

I don't think you should tell her. That is a very dangerous game. It's just not a good idea in my humble opinion.

Sorry, I did not see your question. I have gone to him for general prescriptions in the past. Not for any drugs that can be abused.

Please don't be frustrated with me or write anything unkind, if you can help it. I'm here asking for your thoughts yet again. I did some online research about the doctor who'd been flirting with me a lot, and who I've developed feeling for. ****Feel free to skip this part if you already know my situation. To summarize the situation I wrote about previously, he had a lot of hot and cold behavior with me. Hot: touching my feet with his, cupping my face in his hand, complimenting my looks, taking his ring off while talking to me, looking me up and down, etc. etc. He would give me hugs and another time described it as "asking me for a cuddle." Cold: Sometimes he has been unfriendly, even a bit gruff, spend time with me without touching me or being the least bit flirtatious (this happens sometimes), or even not seeming happy to see me. So I just don't know how to read his feelings towards me at present.*** I noticed he seemed very different, like he was depressed or distressed so I told him I'd been worrying about him... Anyway, it's a longgg story with so many other details, but I found out that he is currently on probation with the medical authority for a drug situation. It seems that he is no longer allowed to write prescriptions for controlled substances. He defended himself by saying a patient fraudulently wrote prescriptions on his medical license, but I don't know if that's true or his coverup story. Anyway, he is only able to write these prescriptions if he works in a hospital setting (because patients might need painkillers on discharge) but not when he is working in a general practice clinic (where I saw him). So now he has cut back his regular doctor clinic hours and is now working in a hospital most days!!! Do you think that's so he can obtain drugs?? Also, he has to complete all of these requirements with a deadline about 8 months from now. (This is all listed online on the website that shows what a doctor's standing is with the medical board.) Some of you may recall that he confided in me a while back that he was "drinking less." So, I wonder if he was hinting about substance abuse (and that this might include prescription drugs)? What do you make of all of this? I wonder where I fit into all of this? Do you think he had any real feeling for me? If so, why would he run so hot and cold? What do you think about his troubles with the medical board? Yes, this man is married too, but I don't know the status of their relationship.

And just for the record, would you think it's weird that one time he asked me for "a cuddle"? Honestly, I have to ask you guys because I don't know if I'm imagining that he was flirting. Like, is that totally inappropriate or what? And that his wife would NOT be okay with him asking that?

Is it just me, or is the habit of ghosting becoming worse than ever before? It's almost like people treat each other like they have no feelings or something...? I had lots of friends growing up and simply cannot recall having this problem at any other point in my life....Is this a new thing people are doing? For example, I went to a meetup a few months ago and a woman there, newly divorced, asked for my number. A few days later I texted her to invite her to a party, and she NEVER responded. Then I went to another meetup (they are very infrequent where I live because it's a small town) and a young woman there invited me to go shopping. We did, I thought it was pleasant enough, she said "we'll definitely do this again some time." A week later I texted her something we talked about but that I couldn't remember the name of (I thought it would interest her) and also asked how her weekend trip that she was planning went. Four days later, no answer. Why do people do this and does it ever happen to you? Even worse, being in a small town I could easily bump into these people again at a later date. Awkward!!!

Thank you. I have known this friend for about two years and Mike for maybe a year and half. I don't mind having him as an acquaintance, but he tags along frequently. With the amount of time I spend with Mike, I feel he should be more than an acquaintance. I am not interested in triflling, superficial relationships. It kind of bothers me to let someone into my life and have them treat me and think of me as no more than an acquaintance.

My friend always invites another friend along. She has even done it without telling me in advance. Is that weird??? I like this other person, Mike, but I don't think he is genuine person. He already has a lot of friends and is very busy with work, and he lives a very self-absorbed, hedonistic lifestyle. He's a total slacker with his friends, never invites me, doesn't add value, but just tags along. That makes me feel like he's HER friend, not mine. (They are old friends.) I prefer to hang out with people who are genuine and who are truly interested in becoming genuine friends vs. someone who is just tagging along with another person and never reaches out to me or makes any genuine effort. I am also a bit hurt and miffed because I had a death in my family recently and Mike took a WEEK to send a text message of condolence. I felt it was too little, too late. I already had an issue feeling like he was a slacker as a friend, but as far as I'm concerned, this latest behavior is not something I can overlook. But my friend keeps inviting Mike without even asking me. I told her I felt ambushed this last time and she got really upset. I explained that I was hurt by his behavior (about the late message of condolences) and she acted so shocked, like I was being unreasonable. Even though I had mentioned that before!! And even though she admitted she would feel the same way! Would that hurt your feelings? Should I be forced to hang out with someone who doesn't seem to have the capacity to behave as a genuine, caring friend just to "keep the peace"?

We broke up. I know I am annoying a lot of you guys. I'm not trying to do that, but this is an ongoing situation that is stressing me out. It's sort of like this. An alcoholic can know objectively that drinking isn't a good idea and isn't enhancing one's life, but that doesn't mean it's easy to quit! My long term plan is to move but it isn't in the cards for me to do so at the present time.

I definitely wouldn't want that, but I do think he is the one who pursued me and not the other way around.

He is my healthcare provider but I do occasionally touch up against him in my work. It's a small (not tiny) town so there is a bit of overlap in my profession.

I want support as though from a trusted friend. It's not an easy situation at all for me to be in this situation. I know people sometimes give advice 1x and then just expect you to follow it immediately, but life is complicated and things aren't always that easy! I am in a small town, it's not easy for me to make these changes or to find someone else (I have tried). Also, I am very lonely because it is so dull here and there is very little social life so I'd love it if I could get advice and encouragement about this whole situation that is keeping me stuck.

P.S. Before you get too mad at me (because he is married, I mean), I have never DONE anything about my crush.. Also, I wonder if they might be separating because he said he was having personal problems and he seems pretty down and just not himself lately.

Oh gosh, what can I do??? I am still hung up and crazy about this guy (the one I have posted about before, my doctor who flirted with me for some years but it never went anywhere and now he's gone a bit cold on me)...I am interested in him but too shy. He made some innuendos but I just wasn't sure how to respond. Maybe he thinks I'm not interested? Or maybe he knows that I am and it's getting too risky/real? I don't know! When I like someone a lot, rather than flirting, I get really, really serious. It's such a bad habit to react this way... Anyway, the last time I saw him he was really pretty unfriendly. He's gone super cold, almost gruff. This is a big contrast from touching my feet with his, hugging me, complimenting me, flirting, etc...I just don't know what to do. These feelings I have for him just don't go away. I just don't know how to express them because it feels like the timing is never right and it's hard to bring someone closer when they are acting more distant... I thought about moving but I just am not able to move right now (maybe in a few years). I miss this guy so much and wonder if he's not okay, or if he's angry with me for some reason??? I don't get to see him that regularly. Why did he go so cold? I believe he might be having family problems and/or work problems. He has changed his work schedule drastically and is only seeing patients once a week now. What if he just up and disappears one day and I never see him again??? Please, can you advise me about what to do?

Can I ask you guys this? Why would this guy give me so many mixed signals? For example, he complimented my looks many times, telling me I am beautiful, that I always look nice. He would sit touching his knees to my knees, touching his feet to mine (could he be clueless)? But then he also gave me a hug once where he patted my back (attn: friend zone). And one where he rubbed my back quickly (same). It screams "just friends." But another time he stared at my lips. He would confide in me ("I've been having some personal problems)...this sort of thing builds rapport and closeness. He asked who I am living with (at the time it was my boyfriend so maybe he didn't like the answer? And why would he ask...or even care?) But he also put boundaries in place ("I'm not available on social media"). But he asked for my advice planning something that was for out of the office (I was confused so I didn't really respond). But he would also flirt and hint and check me out. One time I was even leaving and he got me to stay longer so he could extend the conversation. One time he looked at my chest...but do all guys do that? He would mention his wife, then get all touchy-touchy with me, give me a hug, etc. What is his deal? Is he messing with me just to amuse himself? Would his wife mind that he told me I am beautiful and the other things he said and did (such as giving me hugs)? Is he just having fun at my expense or do you think he is actually interested in messing around? I don't know if he knows what is doing and can sense how I feel, and is thus toying with me for his own amusement with NO intentions, or if he cannot help himself because he likes me in some way. What would YOU think his intentions are, or how would you interpret someone acting this way with such mixed signals towards you? PLEASE I need your serious thoughts about what he is thinking because I simply do not know and it is messing with my mind. Please and thank you.