i hate this

Bored now Zzz

Christ you both sound hurt & aren’t able to read posts correctly. Im sure I’ll have a lovely life, whether it be with this man or not. I never asked if strangers on the internet believe him or asked if I should break up with him. I wanted to know how to move on from it and stop thinking about it… but thank you!

Don’t know how many times i’ve said this, not when we got together. Hence why I’ve never called it cheating in any of my posts. We used to be friends, go out as friends blah blah blah. Until there was around 2/3 times where I really started making an effort with how I looked and starting to get nervous when seeing him. I started to realised I had interest in him so told him this and he declined any advance from this girl from that moment. When I found out, I didn’t mind them remaining friends as it was happening with them for atleast a month before I told him how I felt. I’ve seen the messages between them and they both agreed it was a strict FWB (obviously not for the girl but she never told him or showed him this, she also had a boyfriend at the time but told him they have finished). I think if she had admitted how she felt it would be different yes, anyway… she backed off as I did have a talk with her and she told me to give him a chance as she knew how much he was interested in me. He told her, without me knowing that even though I didn’t mind them being friends (with boundaries) that he didn’t want to be.

I do think he was just wanting to feel something, he is quite emotional. I think he genuinely didn’t know where it was going with me, but then again I also agree if it was a mistake why do it again. I don’t know how someone could make a mistake multiple times It never happened when we were official, hence why I never called it cheating. There was a cross over of about two “dates” with me and him, if you can call them that, where I said I would like to start seeing him properly. In time he was still friendly with her but after I told him how I felt, he declined any advance by her. She knew he liked me and had for a while. I do realise now he was stringing her along, but sometimes it’s not as obvious to a male. Especially considering she had told him she had broken up with her boyfriend (which she hadn’t) whilst they were involved. I think she’s had feelings for him for a while but never told him, which isn’t really his fault I suppose.

I think you are confused? I never ever said I am more good looking than her. I said we are completely opposites, meaning different hair colour, body, personality type. I think you have misinterpreted my comment. Also, he never said those things to me? I said them to try and give you more of an insight of how I feel when I’m with him. Maybe you’ve never felt this way so you can’t understand. Please re read my comments before commenting back as I think we are having 2 completely different conversations

There was around 2 times of me meeting him for a drive or a walk before I told him I wanted to go serious, which in that moment he stopped seeing her and sleeping with her. I just replied to another comment with more details of this. I think it’s very odd for you to call someone you don’t know manipulative. Yes, I am really happy.

He didn’t sleep with her after I changed my mind about wanting to be friends. I can recall there was around 2 times we had met up where I really put an effort in, that’s when I realised I had started to have interest in him. When I told him this, he completely cut off the other girl in any sexual manor, told her that things were getting serious between us. When I found out they slept together, I did tell them both I didn’t mind them still being friends but they couldn’t be as close as they were (which I think is a given). She did back off but he still didn’t like the terms and told her he thought it be best if him and her weren’t friends at all. To this day, I find him quite upset some days and ask him what’s wrong and he tells me how much he hates himself for doing it and that he doesn’t deserve me. I do think he beats himself up about it, although I still have stern feelings about it I comfort him but not to the point where he thinks that I’m over it and it’s okay that he did it. I also don’t agree it was cheating, my original post was more of a , how do I cope/work my way through it kind of question. I think people calling him all sorts of names is rude, he is genuinely a nice person. I’ve never had a boyfriend that gets on with my family and friends as much as he does, he bothers with them and offers to help them all out too when needed. It’s just a very confusing situation for me, I have set ground rules about no lying. If I have any concerns or questions (as you do in new relationships) they are all answered with honest and straight forward answers.

I don’t think in this day and age all men, especially young ones have sex with girls they find attractive.

I’m not talking about looks. I was just stating we are opposites. Yes he may have had a connection with this girl but he knew her 3/4 years longer than he’s known me. When I’m with him it feels like time stops and there’s no one else in the moment but us.

I wouldn’t call it cheating this is why I’m not sure what to do

Ongoing investigation. Waiting for it to come back and go to court. He’s more that good to me. He goes above and beyond. He’s helps me with a lot of things. Good and bad.

I also had around an 11 month break from my ex boyfriend where I found who I was and completely changed. Him running me over was a result of because he didn’t like who I am now when we tried to make things work again.

No. I say my friends are useless bc they never bother with me. They actually tell me he’s good for me. But yeah, my friends and ***. They don’t want anything to do with me unless they can’t make plans with anyone else.

Hello, I’m new here and quite nervous. Me and my boyfriend have been exclusive for just over two months now. We were seeing eachother for atleast a few months. He told me he liked me about a year prior but I told him no as I was currently in a 4 year relationship that I had been in since I was 15 (I am now 20) We remained friends, until something happened with my ex boyfriend. He was very abusive and controlling to me and had been for 2-3 years. Long story short, he hit me with a car & I sustained injury’s so bad I couldn’t walk or sleep & bathe comfortably for the best part of 2 months. When this happened, my current boyfriend (who I was friends with at the time) was there for my every need more than any of my friends were. I don’t think I would still be here if it wasn’t for him and one other family friend that helped me through it, although I did not take advantage of his help, I opened up to him about what had happened to me. I knew he still had feelings for me and told him I’d like to remain friends for the time being and take things very very slow. He agreed to this. We were always very close and got along very well, one day there was just this spark and we started seeing eachother properly. Now to the important part, around 3 week before we became official I found out he has been sleeping with another girl. Despite denying this and lying about it to me when I asked stating they were “just best friends” which I believed as they had been for years. When I confronted him about this he denied it with a very sad and concerned face until I showed him evidence that I knew. He then admitted it and started apologising stating he never told me as he didn’t want to loose me. He told me times where he wanted to tell me but never did as he knew I would of walked away. He told me he never had feelings for the girl and had no idea why it happened and told me it was a genuine mistake and it started when they were drunk one night. I also asked him that if I didn’t find out would he have told me? He said no as per the same reasons I mentioned earlier. My only concern is that it crosses over when we were taking things seriously. Although it did stop a few days after. (E.g. my sisters birthday might out, he picked us up from Chester which is around 45 mins from where we live. Then came out round the clubs in our local town, we then carried on the party back to my house. A few people stayed over but I wanted to be with him so me and him alone ended up going back to his (which conveniently is around a 3 minute walk from mine). I wanted to stay the night but when we got there he immediately just seemed like he wanted to have sex, which I’m guessing because he was drunk and attracted to me. I told him I didn’t feel comfortable and he walked me home. He ended ip meeting a few of his friends which were still out and partied on well into the next day. That night he had her round to his house) He used to tell said girl how much he liked me and used to get excited telling her that he was seeing me. He always told her it was just friends and he didn’t like her in that way and she agreed but as a girl, you kind of always know how another girl feels. A few of her friends told me on a night out that she was obsessed with him, she seemed to be jealous of how he felt towards me & they told her from the start not to go there and they indicated she knew she what was getting into from the beginning as he told her he didn’t like her like that. Not to be rude, as I would admit if she was but she’s not very attractive. Or very conveniently attractive. We are complete opposites. I know he loves me, he still gets upset about it now. A few days ago, when we were in bed falling asleep he cried to me about it and told me he hates himself for what he did. I’m trying to move past it and I’m doing well but sometimes it just creeps back in my mind. I can honestly see a long and happy future with him. I just don’t know how to move past this. I’m not sure whether it’s because he is the only person I ever trusted not to hurt me. He puts in so much effort to the relationship and continues to show me what real love is every single day. He treats me like a princess and makes me extremely happy. I just need a strangers opinion on this as my friends are useless.