DiscipleOfChange

jackknive put it very well. Many children use the following memory aid to remember the bases: "French, Feel, Finger, Fu**" vulgar though it may be, that's what is generaly used to refer to the bases

well, I for one would LOVE to have a girl call me. I mean, sure the guy is typically the one who does the calling but if you're interested and want him to know that then you should call him

If you mean that they feel just as strongly about you then that isn't necessarily the case. In fact, I'd say that strong mutual feelings of attraction are not the most common occurrences in the world. If on the other hand, you simply mean that they "feel" your attraction towards them, then I think they definitely do. Both sexes drop extremely large hints even when they think they're being subtle. I'd think (and not to be cruel) that a person would have to be extremely naive not to notice someone's feelings if that someone felt very strongly about them. Mild feelings of attraction are easy to keep on the low-down but if youre really attracted to someone, it will show.

The first thing you need to do is relax about it. Progress takes time, believe me, I'm going through a progressive period in my life right now with regards to approaching and talking with women. you can't see things as failures but rather as learning experiences.

Trust me man, it'll get easier, you just have to let it happen.

Well, unless this girl has expressed any interest in getting back together, I'd be careful how you "take a shot." From your description, it sounds like she's been trying to see othe guys.

i think it would help if we knew what it was that caused you two to break up. That information could have a serious impact on the advice I (and I imagine others) give

Good advice. He may be a bit shy and didn't want to be too forward. You should take the initiative and ask him to hang out for coffee or something. I'm sure he'd love it

Sounds like a good idea. I definitely wouldn't want to do something over the top. I definitely want to set up another time for us to get together if I can.

for those of you that are curious...

We are going to be getting together for coffee on sunday because it won't take up as much time and she has a busy weekend. She was definitely interested in getting together though. I'll also see her at a dance tomorrow night and have an opportunity to dance with her several times.

While I hat to think of it in terms of making moves, I think after we're done on Sunday and I walk her back to wherever she goes afterwards, I'll let her know how I feel. Not in a corny way of course, but something along the lines of how much I enjoy spending time with her and how I'd love to see her more often. I'll set up another time for us to get together and giver her a hug.

Dude, screw the friendship

I'm going to have to step in and disagree...at least in a way..

I think you should definitely ask her out. Make it casual enough that it isn't too much over the top as a first date for the two of you but at the same time make sure she knows the two of you aren't just going to hang out as friends.

My opinion is you should never forsake a friendship. So do try and see if she really is interested too but do it in a way that you can salvage the friendship. A good friendhip is something far too valuable in life to throw away.

Well, I suppose that there are guys out there who would give you there number and then drop it for no reason....

I think that its far more likely he's just been busy. Oftentimes, with attraction, one person is more interested than the other at the beginning and as such has the other person on their mind more often. It's been long enough. I'd say call him back and close with your proposed message.

I don't see a problem with it. I mean, I wouldn't schedule a time with him for when you will call, not in a formal sense at least. I think there's nothing wron with a girl doing the calling. SO LONG AS SHE DOES CALL LOL!

Frankly, I think you made one of the best decisions of your life. A person goes to college for themselves, not their parents or anyone else for that matter. Wasting several years of your life learning things and preparing for a career you're not interested in is foolish.

I think all parents want their children to be independent and follow their own dreams but a small part of them wants their children to be like them. I think it's unfortunate about the car, not because he won't buy it for you but because of the reasons behind his decision.

I like serendipity's comments. Although, as a guy, I'd rather hear something like "I don't like to give my mobile number out (and insert some reason here.) Unless of course you really do plan on calling him, don't say you might.

A lot of it may be due to the thrill of having a bf. After a while, it may die down so that you two can hang out without her bf tagging along or always having plans with her.

I'd say directly asking her for coffee or to meet someplace out of class will be the best bet of determining interest. Talk with her and at the end of the conversation, suggest the two of you get together for coffee sometime. If she expresses interest, suggest a date. Her response should give you the answer you're looking for (whether you wan't to hear it or not)

If he's interested in you too I can't see anything wrong with it. In fact, if he's the kind of guy who isn't sure how the girl feels but thinks she may be at least slightly interested, it would probably be the highlight of his week, let alone his day LOL.

The only way it could backfir is if he doesn't feel the same about you but even then, who deosn't like getting a kiss?

It depends. I'm assuming he's about the same age as you and if so, then I'd say he may very well be flirting. Boys express their affection in strange ways at such a young age. He could be just fooling around for the heck of it, but it sounds like it could easily be flirting.

Well dude, the friend zone is an interesting area, whether between guys or girls. I mean, you can be friends with someone and not talk with them on a daily or even a weekly basis but if you go to the same school, than usually the two people find time to hang out or at least talk. I think you're going to be the one who would initiate conversations or try to contact her because of the fact that you were interested in her at one point. Keep in mind this point: you'll know better from all the contextual and circumstantioal details that havent been expressed on this forum what the real deal with her is. Also remember that generally, the most logical explanation is the right one. If she say's she's had an insanely busy week, she probably has.

Well, I'd say that continuing to talk to her as a friend would be the best idea. It'll be hard because you're feelings will be in the process of dying down but I still think that's better than having absolutely no contact whatsoever.

For some reason, I woke up this morning with a renewed sense of apathy. I woke up and one of my first thoughts was "gee, I wish it were the weekend" I don't feel depressed or anything. I simply feel "blah." Perhaps it's because of the weekend which althought it didn't go as I had hoped, could have ended worse (without any promising signs.)

Perhaps I truly am feeling sophmore slump. I've noticed it at various points but it comes and goes. Another factor may be that we're in the process of scheduling spring classes and I'm totally screwed due to meeting times of classes I need to take.

It's a new kind of feeling because it lacks feelings of being down or unnecessarily elated. I don't feel like I wish I had something to do or friends to hang out with. It seems that right now I'm just letting the breeze blow me around or whatever other forces compell me to move during the day (classes, lunch etc.) great way to start a week hunh?

Lust is the animilistic passion which draws us, sexually that is, to another person. I would say that lust is the physical aspect of attraction whereas love is the non-physical.

Beec sounds like he's got a good strategy. I'd agree that once or twice a week is a good idea to start with. Anything more could easily come off as pushy. The last thing you want to do is rush things or push limits at an early stage. Take things delicately.

Well, I'm going to deal with this delicately. Obviously I don't want to pressure her. I will contact her on Friday if I have not heard from her by then (it seemed in her phone message that she would contact me about rescheudling) and ask her how her week has gone and casually suggest a time to get together again. This weekend probably won't work for me though. Taking it easy has worked out very well for me so far and so that's how I'm going to keep playing it.

I think this is one of those issues where people can only advise based on experience but the vibes you've gotten from her are what should determine the interpretation. She said she liked you in the Email and if this girl is decent, she wouldn't have said it unles she meant it. Foget "easy let downs" if a girl doesn't feel the same, she'll let you know, albeit occasionally in a subtle way unles she's trying to lead you on (which wouldn't make any sense if she wasn't interested.) Remember, the most rational explanation is often the accurate one. In this situation that means exactly what she wrote. She likes you but doesn't feel ready for a relationship.

Case in point: For now, she has told you that a relationship is out of the question. thereforeeee, either move on or don't try to be in a relationship with her but still hang out with her