I can't explain it in words, but I know that she is feeling exactly as I feel.
I did say to my guy friday night that we can't have a relationship, but I've been thinking about him all weekend and now I'm really tempted to call him and ask if we can go out again. But I know that if I go out with him I'll be unsure and be tempted to run away again.
It's definitely not that we (me and your girl) are waiting for someone else or using you as a spare tyre. In fact, I think that my guy is the best guy I've ever met and probably will ever meet.
Weird thing is I said to my guy on Friday night ""i dun wan to hang onto ur life den restrict u from knowing others". I said that to my guy because I care about him, I know that I'm really uncertain about this relationship so I feel that it is not fair that I should have him hanging there while my feelings yoyo. I feel like i don't want to waste all he has to offer (and he has so much to offer) on me because I think that I can't commit 100%. He deserves more happiness than what I can offer him.
Perhaps we (me and your girl) are just insecure.
For me, the reason I don't feel like I can commit 100% is because I'm very career oriented. Everything I spend time and effort on has to have a acknowledged end to it, eg. promotion, awards, societal acknowledgement. Its really bad I know, but I can't help my sense of wanting to achieve. I'm not sure if your girl is really sucessful?
Another thing is, I think it is because its our first serious relationship we don't know how to go about it. Its the first time we've needed to constantly think and consider someone else (besides our family members which is different).
If you really see potential in this girl, give her time. She needs to think about her new emotions. But if you feel like you can't put up with her yoyoing and emotional insecurity perhaps move on, otherwise it is not fair on you.
But one thing is for sure. Like me, she is a type that takes relationships really seriously (almost too serious that we become insecure once we face one). I don't tend to have deep feelings for guys very easily. That's why we're so old, but have never had a relationship.
But the up side is, it means that if you win her heart she will be very very faithful. I will guarantee the chances of me cheating is 0. Which is why we are so afraid of entering a relationship, because we are afraid of being hurt, because we know that we will take the relationship very seriously.
my guy just called me. I told him I'll call him back. Help! I really don't know what to say to him. I kind of miss him. But then I don't know.