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scorchio

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Everything posted by scorchio

  1. scorchio
    fantasia, not sure totally to the answer you need, but, I believe in what goes round comes round................ im hoping for the same really in my sittuation, my ex dumped me, she cut off all contact from me from day 1 off break up, that hopefully will come back to haunt her and cause the same pain and hurt. but all we can do in the present is stay N/C (to help us) try and keep a clear head. I wish u luck its easy giving advice, wish I could stick with it myself !!! LOL keep strong
  2. scorchio
    meant stronger as in me not wanting to contact her, and she would have to do it make the move etc thats wot i meant
  3. scorchio
    my N/C is going ok, I am getting stronger as in not wanting her to contact me, doing things, seeing friends, getting out etc. 4 1/2 months split now Do the dumpers still suffer after this time ! even if someone else might be on the scene (not that i think there is), do they realise regrets even later on than 4 1/2months. My big issue is 4 1/2months n/c from her (the dumper) is that a long time im moving on clearer head but of course !!! miss her and would love her to come back to me one day
  4. scorchio
    I just worry that she might have met someone else and if that the case she not has any thoughts about me or destroys any likely hood of her coming back. silly isnt it, im strong with N/C, bloody evening comes round then I get all those thoughts in my head aaarrrrgggghhhhhh LOL
  5. scorchio
    bit low tonght, wondering wot she is thinking,doing or misses me. suppose we would all be rich if we knew what the dumper is thinking about or doing lol evenings are bad for me
  6. scorchio
    if they had someone else, dont know if she has, spose i never will know that. would that spell disaster of any hope in future etc
  7. scorchio
    thanks for the advice I am finding it difficult its a hard 4 1/2months of being split up. I hope she does miss me or come back but I am going to be strong and stay with the N/C I want to try desperately move on, I really do. But it does seem also the effect of moving on can hit home big time with dumpers, reading alot of posts that comes up all the time, the act of moving on shakes the other person up and they see wot they are missing. I am doing this for me im trying to tell myself its her loss, she one day I hope will see this and come back, but maybe, just maybe it might be too late for her does anyone think 4 1/2months is very long, it feels like it to me at momement. LOL feels like ive been swept under carpet and forgotten by her. or is it 4 1/2months of hell for her too, im not sure. Hope it has some effect on her.
  8. scorchio
    I realise N/C is for me, but afraid that if she meets someone in that time that then becomes fading hope for me.
  9. scorchio
    I am trying to keep strong, and slowly I am moving on and remaining focused in that, hey! I even saw a nice girl walk past me yesterday and though wow! there are nice girls out there lol. but it dosent stop me wanting that text or email out of blue, I miss her alot, 4 1/2months split up. do the dumpers feelings tear them apart down the line eventually, we the dumpees are going through the heartache and pain at momement , do the dumpers get that tearing missing feeling eventually ? i.e the regrets or the grass isnt always greener etc. Cant help but think that in them it is stored up and will break out eventually Im silent through N/C (helping me move on, YES!) but this must have a knock on effect I would think on the dumper, make them wonder or curious.! thoughts anyone, just interested.
  10. scorchio
    I am trying to keep strong, and slowly I am moving on and remaining focused in that, but it dosent stop me wanting that text or email out of blue, I miss her alot, 4 1/2months split up. do the dumpers feelings tear them apart down the line eventually, we the dumpees are going through the heartache and pain at momement , do the dumpers get that tearing missing feeling eventually ? i.e the regrets or the grass isnt always greener etc. if there is silence from us the dumpee, that surely must effect the ex (dumper) in some way the N/C is for me, I totally understand that and it is helping me move slowly on day by day, but would be nice for her to miss me or think about me or at least wonder about me lol.
  11. scorchio
    Good luck Echo in everything you also have been a tower of strength in advice x
  12. scorchio
    hi superdave, thanks for your advice - as ever, always helpfull I am growing stronger, I just worry that in 4 1/2 months of being split up, that is a long time and too much time has passed for her to miss me or think about me or even in time to realise her mistakes etc. if she had met someone, does that spell doom for the future me and her ??? i dont hold false hopes on a reconcilliation just would be nice I suppose its the above two statements that are causing me the most hurt and probably the biggest thing to stop me totally getting stronger, im sure this not unusual tho. I am moving on slowly, I do realise she isnt the only one out there for me, but as im sure u can understand i would take her back at this point in time because of the love i feel for her and her daughter. im not sure about my issues really, spose looking at it, too trusting give too much love to easily. she had alot of issues regarding being treated well by me, she loved me etc just found it difficult to be open with her feelings through being treated badly in relationships etc sorry if this post has gone on a bit LOL
  13. scorchio
    she is a very stubborn person, always has done, she always used to admit it herself and that is how she dealt with being angry with someone or dealing with an argument. you cant be angry forever. surely!!! I didnt mean the question in the way it may have sounded by getting her back, not at all. just meant that why I am being strong N/C (well trying LOL), and her not contacting me since splitting up does that make the dumper hurt within in more because they not letting it out!!! I suppose I mean surely the hurt within however stubborn they and are trying to be will come out sometime/one day. And to add, doesent mean I will nescessarly be there if !! that happenned
  14. scorchio
    hi all, I have being doing N/C for about 3months (she dumped me 4 1/2 months ago) now which has made me come along alot, I am growing stronger. I want to be a positive person I want to appear and be happy, stronger and moving on up to a point I am, would love her to come back to me tho and that phone to ring out of blue, I am waiting by it a bit less now. my question is, she has not contacted me since we split (4 1/2 months ago) not even bumped into eachother, I read alot of posts where its good to appear to your ex you are moving on stronger etc ........ and alot of people even see there ex's in passing (I dont) Can this still have an effect to your ex (the dumper) if you have had NO contact at all ???? i.e. how will they realise you are moving on, stronger without them, changed etc if they havent had any contact with you whatsoever. Is it even more of an advantage to you (the dumpee) that there has been no contact phone text sight anything ??????? Anyones advice please !!!!!!!!!
  15. scorchio
    hi all, I have being doing N/C for about 3months (she dumped me 4 1/2 months ago) now which has made me come along alot, I am growing stronger. I want to be a positive person I want to appear happy stronger moving on up to a point I am, would love her to come back to me tho and that phone to ring out of blue. my question is, she has not contacted me since we split (4 1/2 months ago) not even seen eachother, I read alot of posts where its good to appear to your ex you are moving on stronger etc ........ and alot of people even see there ex's in passing (I dont) Can this still have an effect to your ex (the dumper) if you have had NO contact at all ???? Is it even more of an advantage to you (the dumpee) that there has been no contact phone text sight anything ??????? Anyones advice please !!!!!!!!!
  16. scorchio
    thankyou all for your kind replies, its hurting tremendously at mo, I am taking ALL your advice on board and trying my best to act upon it, you are all very kind. I am trying to get her out of her mind and the negative thoughts etc........... I suppose my biggest worry, is that she might meet someone else and may stop any hope further down the line of a reconcilliation with me. Dont worry, I know i cant wait round myself either AND I WONT promise
  17. scorchio
    I PROMISE I dont believe in false hopes, I am realistic, I am waiting by the phone for that text out of blue a little less now, BUT still want that to happen of course as im missing her soo much. THE thing im beating myself up with is that 4 1/2months being split up is a long time for her to change her mind......................... been split 4 1/2months N/C 3 1/2months - ouch its tearing me apart I am trying tho please someone give me a little ease and tell me 4 1/2months isnt too long in the scheme of things.
  18. scorchio
    Thankyou all of you, demond34, lovely post, thankyou, what annoys me more is the fact that we ended and she even admitted that she had never fallen out of love with me, that hadnt changed, she had alot of issues tho with past relationships in being treated bad and then i came along and treated her and her daughter like princess's etc annoying huh ! Yeah ! what you all say is good advice, I thankyou for that. Just wish one day she will see what a mistake she made ............ maybe it will be too late, yes i will always leave that door slightly open, but i would still not let her turn the handle easily, i have to appear strong and not needy how difficult is it ............... when all you want to do is shake them .............
  19. scorchio
    yeah, I understand that, the N/C is for moving on, I do really understand that, and am trying. its funny in some ways the fact that she is blanking me, silent treatment, whatever you want to call it .... it has forced me in to a position of N/C anyway, me knowing she wouldnt answer any texts, emails etc etc anyway. maybe that will haunt her one day.
  20. scorchio
    thanks everyone yeah the mornings and nights arent very good at mo i take on board what u say, moving on is obviously the way to go i understand that, but there is nothing wrong with having hope for the future, surely, a break in the N/C a email out of blue etc, not pinning hopes on it. Ex's im sure regret when there is silence for a very long time and maybe they think you are moving on !!! what you think ?? but nice to have in back of mind surely !!!!
  21. scorchio
    Hi all, I am trying to be strong with the N/C (3 1/2 months) been split for 4 1/2 months I am getting stronger in the N/C because I know she wont respond anyway ............... I miss her alot I just cant get the thoughts of what she might be doing or who with out of my head, is this something us dumpees have, is anyone else getting the same thoughts. any advice how to get the thoughts out of head ? im sure most assumptions are wrong anyway in our head !!! Is it very likely she will deep down have the same thoughts as above????? Yeah sure, I am moving on, all be it very slowly, but, I would so love that text or Email out of blue from her one day even if it was a simple hello!!!!!! You never know!!!! but I want that to come from her, and not me chasing her or making myself look weak, even I can realise im better than that, I dont want her to see me weak at her hands. Thanks for all the advice everyone gives and it helps to read all your posts, it has made me stronger willed !!! just! LOL[/b]
  22. scorchio
    Echo, I am suffering as well, as you know, so i cant give u probably any advice other than im here for u, and as u know everyone on here is. im staying strong, just N/C god its hard so hard I am missing her and her daughter sooo much.
  23. scorchio
    Thanks both of you, I hear what you are saying. I am stronger and am getting on with things etc I still pine for her in my own way, but not in a way to stop me doing anything, I PROMISE I would not let her have the satisfaction of stopping me enjoying myself....... and YES!!! prehaps she does need to meet some real jerks and crappy people to make her realise how good I once was for her and her daughter. I take all advice on board, it is so usefull and heart warming.
  24. scorchio
    thanks bounder & royltn for the lovely advice to which I take on board. I suppose my biggest fear is she might meet someone else..... then no hope of getting back or her mind thinking of me. im sure she hasnt met anyone, nothing at all to indicate she has, especially as she has a young daughter. but you know what our minds go through just because there is silence and no contact. im trying to keep strong and sure I am each day, but cant denie in the future would be great to get that text out of blue from her maybe im not strong enough yet (4months) to decide what to do, if & when it comes, hope it does ................... LOL You are very wise on the advice you have given to me thanks
  25. scorchio
    I read alot of posts where most people are doing N/C etc. but they have the odd contact with ex even if its a passing glance somewhere I dont even get that, it has been silence since the day we split..... split 4months N/C 3 1/2 months cant help but think that must hurt her deep down and will come to a head some day, surely thats human nature !!!!!! the fact that she's doing her hardest not to have any contact, that must weaken somewhere !!!!!! we the dumpees weaken !!!! so should the dumpers I know its easy to cling on to hope like that, im not silly, i am realistic as well, but surely there must be some sort of truth in what i am saying, im trying to have faith in human nature he! he! a question, surely by people (the dumpers) being silent since the beginning of the break up, being stubborn etc, they are not getting closure and that must manafest itself in them deep down eventually,
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