sweetione

I agree with you singer. Maybe my ex will return and maybe he won't. But in this forum of getting back together, I want to hang on to the hope that he will. And others here will offer me support, even if I am crazy for believing. I do have to say that this forum has helped me alot. When I don't know where to turn and I am so sad or need advice, I will come here and read and I do feel stronger afterwards.

Singer, That is excellent advice. I haven't heard from him since that IM. I had missed it when he IM'd me and wasn't able to respond back til late. But if he does call or anything about my things, i will use your advice. I have decided that I am in way too much pain and don't want to be anymore. He doesn't seem to care. And all his actions seem to show that he doesn't care. Maybe it is an act, I don't know. I mean he is nice to me as I am nice to him. When i talk to him i am always upbeat and I try to sound happy. But it just doesn't seem like he misses me or if he is even second guessing this breakup. I find it completely painful that i am here so sad and he is going out with his friends all the time. This weekend he is going away with friends. I think this might be a phase, and after the newness wears off, he will finally have to face what he has done. I just wonder how long it will take. Or maybe I am the delusional one.....

He Im'd me last night. Not sure if i should think the worse or not. Just to let you get caught up: I told him 3 weeks ago when we went out last that I was going crazy looking all over for my black pants and couldn't find them.... "I was cleaning today and found ur black pants along with some other stuff. Do you want me 2 drop this off. I am heading out now and can swing by if u like" Last night i was upset by this message but reading it today, it sounds like he was helping me out. What do you guys think?? I also think I am going to retry the n/c .

Brandell, thank you for your reply. And I would give anything to have that hug from you! I am not sure that he knows how much i am hurting. I don't want him to know - don't think it would help. That is why I called about the passing the realestate test. Wanted him to think I was ok and happy so that he would want to talk to me and not some unhappy girl(then he really wouldn't want to talk to me) Lisaria, thank you for your long post. But I don't think my heart will let me give up that easy. In your post you wrote "But it seems to me that when they've made up their minds that they don't want us anymore, then that is it. It's over. I wish to god it wasn't like that, but it is." I hope to God you are wrong. If you are right then there isn't much point in any of us writing in this forum! Does anyone have a success story??? Does anyone think i have a chance of getting back together or does everyone agree with Lisaria's post???

It sounds like she is very confused. I don't think it is a difference in female/male conversations. I would just accept that she is confused and maybe means everything she said. Maybe one time she does love you but maybe the next she isn't sure. I think maybe not bringing up the relationship questions for alittle bit might help. Just be the person she fell in love with....

As soon as I wake up in the morning, it all hits me instantly. Here I am without the man I love with another day to get through somehow. (deep sigh) I just don't know how to move on. I know that i am suppose to be dating, but seriously, i am just not attracted to anyone else. If you all could post any advise for me it would be greatly appreciated. I dated my boyfriend seriously for a year. We had no problems at all,at least to me. We never fought or argued, we always enjoyed each other laughing and being each others best friends. I really had no idea there was any kind of problem until one night, 6 weeks ago, he text messaged me that he couldn't continue with our relationship. The next day we did talk over the phone and it came out that he just wanted to be free, without a serious girlfriend. That i hadn't done anything wrong. He just wanted to be selfish and to be able to date others. He was married for 5 years before and it ended pretty badly and i met him pretty much as he was signing the papers. He had been separated for over a year at that time and had gone on a couple of dates before meeting me. But he is using this as a reason too. (went from one serious relationship -- into another one) So we decided, mostly my idea, that instead of throwing away this wonderful relationship, we should still date but date others too. He was surprised that i would agree to this but if this is something he has work out, maybe it is best i am still in the picture.(???) After this conversation we had n/c for 2 weeks whereas he called and we had a nice chat about what we had been doing, etc. We hang up and he calls back 2 min later asking me out to dinner but not to read anything into it. So we go and have a wonderful time, as usual. The next day was a prearranged concert we had plans to see before the breakup. Actually it was an anniversary gift from me. So we went the next day and had another fanstatic time, but this time i spent the night. It was very memorable.... 3 days later i called him, we made small talk, he was happy to hear from me, but i started asking relationship questions and he answered me the same answers. Almost like stabbing me in the heart with a knife..... So I decided to try n/c again this time i didn't talk to him for 3 weeks. Last night i gave in. I am not sure if i should be using n/c anyway....(??) I called him all excited and all, telling him about passing the real estate test, just wanting him to know...blah blah blah. He was happy for me and we chatted for over 20 min basically about what we have been doing. I kept the conversation light and didn't bring up anything related to our relaionship. I ended the conversation by telling him that I didn't want to keep him just wanted to tell him about passing my test. I think it went well but I am not sure if/when I will talk to him again.... He has 3 more weeks of school and then he won't be as busy as he is now(he works fulltime and working on his masters) and i am hoping that will help in our direction. But i don't know anything. After reading all this...does anyone have advise for me??? God i really need it!! Do you think we can get back together?? Has anyone else been in this situation?? Help me......please.

I am confused about that stupid quote. My ex told me he still loves me but not as much as he use to. What is that crap?? I think, please tell me if i am wrong, that relationships go through changes over time. After dating for a year, I don't think you are going to feel the same kind of passion as you did the first month. In my situation, we still had fantastic sex. Right to the end. Even after we broke up. Our breakup to me, was a surprise. I didn't even know he was having any negative feelings, after 1 year we didn't even have any arguments, I didn't see any problems. But that ILUBNILWU quote blows. I hate it. It really hurts. To me it felt like a dagger in my heart. And I don't understand it when you are still having great sex. Does anyone think that when they say that, they really don't mean it. I mean they think they mean it but once you give them space and freedom they will see they really are in love with you but just felt trapped and needed room to breathe??

I feel like I don't know which way to go myself. Somedays I wake up confident and sure that we will be back together but then other days I just wake up crying not knowing how i will get through another day. But reading everyone's posts helps to know that i am not alone and sometimes it is easier to see the right way for others if not for myself. Something funny, I think that if you contacted your ex in a non-threatening way it would be ok, since it has been 2 months already. Maybe by a cute/funny card. Then the ball would be back in their court but you haven't pressured them in anyway. But if you still don't feel ready , then give it alittle more time.