faraday
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Everything posted by faraday
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She sounds pretty horrible. It's hard...you have to trust that he absorbed enough of your values to know that...she's entitled and unkind....and not wife/mother material. My mom sat my brother down about three weeks ago and said, "listen, I see you and (gf) fighting all the time. I just want you to be happy. I want you to be with someone that brings out the best in you and makes you want to be a better person because she's awesome and you want to rise to her level. I love you and I'll support you no matter what you do...but please, whatever you do, find a way to be happy." Maybe she can get away with things like that because she's dying. But its not confrontational...and it gets the message across. Idk. It's so tough. Saying something could be really detrimental to your relationship with him. But can you imagine if they do get married? Then she knows she's got him and she can treat him with contempt just like she treats her mother. Ugh. I'm sorry that she's so horrible. I'd like to say she'll grow out of it, but at 33, it seems unlikely
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Sounds like an awesome weekend I didn't camp when I was a kid (like your bf) but I love it now. I do more of glamping though. I mean, in a tent...but then I bring an inflatable air mattress that is raised to bed height, and I bring proper sheets and duvets. I think I just really need to be warm and comfortable when I'm sleeping. The rest is like "meh"....if we camp near a lake, my life is good! I hope your bf enjoys himself (so he'll want to go on more camping adventures with you) and I hope you have an awesome birthday weekend Enjoy
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We fostered through our local shelter...I have no idea how people can adopt an animal after an hour or two together....we adopted our kittens after a several months of making sure they were the right kittens for us. I've fostered kittens that were not good with Tine...or liked to chew cords...and that made them not the right fit for us. You're going to be together for decades...everyone has to get along. It might take a bit to find a new buddy...but if you will. And don't feel embarrassed about bringing him back- you did the right thing. I assure you that the shelter didn't think badly of you at all. I had a few people bring back fosters after they realized it wasn't going to work...and I always admired them for doing that. It's better for everyone (the kitten, existing pets, and the humans) if it's a good fit...if it's not, everyone in the house suffers...and the situation might be sustainable for a few years...but eventually, it comes to a head. And after a year or five of cats fighting...it's a lot harder to find a home for that cat. They're closed off and miserable. You did the right thing. Don't feel like it was a failure- success is only when everyone is happy. And it sounds like the kitten found the right home. If you're still thinking about a kitten, it will happen eventually. Maybe you could try being a back up foster parent for when foster families go on vacation. Then it's just for a few days or a week instead of a several month commitment...and if you find the right kitten, you can adopt him/her.
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Sending hugs your way. My daughters fatter is like your ex J. We just get each other. It's nice to be friends with someone that knows all sides of you and wants good things for you. I'm glad you get to be friends again. I always go through closets during a break up...purging is therapeutic. And soon, you're house will feel good and that will help set things up for you to as well
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I'm sorry that you're feeling down. It's really hard when multiple things are coming at you...and you just want to catch your breath before the next one hits. It's okay to cry. It's okay to be sad. I know that you know that, but sometimes we need to hear it. You're going to be okay. I know you know that too....but when things keep happening, sometimes it's hard to remember that. You are capable. You are strong. You've got this. Lean on your people when you need to- we're here for you One day at a time.
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I've been drinking my coffee black now for a while, but I know EXACTLY what you're talking about. It's so good. You're making me want to make a second cup of coffee lol
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I was just coming here to ask that lol
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You did the right thing. It doesn't feel fair that we have to make a decision for them- to live a few more months in pain, or die now...it's a heavy burden. I felt so guilty when I had to put a cat down a few years ago...and he went out just like your Xena did, curled up on my lap getting pets. He had no idea it was the end, only that he was comfy and not in pain and had his human. I only had him a few months...the last I adopted him from failed to mention he had kidney failure. I'm glad I was able to give him lots of cuddles in his last few weeks. Last night Tine and I went and saw A Dogs Purpose. I think it relates to cats too...just the relationship between a pet and their human....it's so much bigger than non pet people know. Our babies just love us so much. We're lucky to have them. It's just so hard when they go. My mom is worried about what will happen to her cat when she's gone. He's still a baby, only 3. I've assured her that if dad moves on from the cat (I doubt he will, he loves that cat) that I will never leave her baby- he'll have a home with us. I think mom is more upset about leaving the cat than us lol. It speaks to how profound that bond is though.
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Congratulations on your progress IAG You've worked hard and come far. It must be such a huge sense of accomplishment
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I just saw...I came on here to ask what happened...but now I know. I'm so sorry it's not fair that they live for such a short amount of time and leave us. I'm glad you got to be there with her. All she knew at the end was the warm lap she'd spent many evenings curled up on, and the pets of her mom...it's not a bad way to go being loved like that. Now I'm crying
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She's 16- she's lucky to have teeth lol. I think a lot of it is genetics, just like humans. Some people have good teeth...some cats have good teeth.
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The lady that came by wrapped the cat up (and all 4 paws) in a towel, and my dad held him down while she cleaned his teeth. Dad got to release the cat, so the cat thought dad "saved" him lol, and wasn't mad at anyone except the dental tech after. But yeah, no drugging. My parents liked that. It was pretty quick and painless.
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My parents found a lady that cleans pet teeth for $90...and she comes to their house and brings everything. It takes under 30 minutes...it's pretty reasonable. They get it done every year or two. They said last time they had it done, huge chunks of stuff/plaque were coming off their cats teeth. They found her on one of those but/sell sites. They found the vet wanted way too much.
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Poor girl that hurts. Glad it wasn't more serious though
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] buffet table done with birches.
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Thank you It was a fun project. I did a bunch of the stained art furniture for clients. If it wasn't so heavy and so space consuming, I probably would have kept doing it.
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Awww she's a fluff ball! It's so hard when they sick. Like children. Because they can't talk and tell you what's wrong...they just look at you like you should be able to fix them. I hope Xena's okay.
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I'm hoping to be able to protect it with the right clear coat...so that it can live outside at our dining table. It might not work though. I did this dresser for a client a few years ago. I'd like to stain birch trees onto the pew...but we'll see what ends up happening. ]
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Awww I'm sorry No advice, but I'm sorry that you're kitty isn't doing great tonight. Do you think the blood could be from her gums or something? I mean, she's older, she probably has gingivitis. I hope it's something easy like that. Keep us updated
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I love refinishing furniture...it's so much therapy. People think I'm odd because I love it so much lol. I have a large church pew I'm going to be working on in a few weeks. I've had it out in the shed all winter, but now that things are thawed out, it's time to bring it out and do something with it. It'll probably take a week to refinish it...and I'm looking forward to it What stain colour are you going to use on the dresser?
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Good update I'm glad you're going to be getting more of what you need, and that you're finding you're stride and balance You give me hope that one day it will be good again.
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I cry every time I see children that I've been through trauma like that. I turn the channel when adverts come up asking for donations for Syrian children, or other families coming from war torn countries...I don't change the channel because I don't care...I change it because watching means crying and feeling utter despair at the world. There are so many people that need help in the world...and I'm small and can only do small things right now. I live for the day that I hopefully make a difference. Sponsor families to come here, help them make new lives. I'm not in the right place right now. I have dreams of people I know getting into horrible accidents. I dream of being responsible for causing an accident and hurting others- and I feel so bad it's almost like it really happened. I don't know why we have thoughts like that I'm sure many people do, but just don't talk about it. You can talk more about it with me. I'm not sure if what I shared helps at all...just know that you're not weird, and you're not alone.
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The last time I broke up with 2.5 year guy...(we had broken up a few times and had a relationship where I was always dealing with his insecurity and walking on eggshells)...I was oddly calm at the end. I thought there would be crying...but it didn't surge up at a later date. I think it was easier because it wasn't the first time and I knew in my heart (as much as it hurt) that breaking up was the right thing. Maybe you're in a similar headspace. You might not have to go through the whole break up process again.
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You *are* allowed to be sad. Don't listen to anyone that's making you feel bad about that...they just don't get it. I'm sorry that pure feeling grumpy and sad. I hope that you're able to get the alone time that you need to feel more in balance. Who is in your face? I think about you every day. I'm trying to emulate the grace you maintained with your mother...it's harder than it looks. You did it well. You're still doing it well. Just keep moving forward...One day at a time.
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I'm sorry reinvent I haven't commented because I didn't know what to say. Before Jay, I dated a guy that would break up with me over every fight/disagreement. It became normal...I expected jay would do the same...but he didn't. I think sometimes we get stuck in patterns...and it takes either a change (like dating someone new) or if the pattern is deeply ingrained, a lot of self awareness to break out of them. It sounds like S doesn't know how to break out of them. I'm sorry that you've reinvested so much to have it turn out like this. It sucks