Boyfriend left me about a month ago...

So.... I just joined today. I am

Going nutso over this. Background is we just had a child in Jan. His first, my fourth. We were split at the end of the pregnancy. About 3 months. He claims he was wanting it to work then. He came home when baby was born. 2 1/2 months later we see getting into it and playing the head games. We started talking he got mad and left. I was devastated. I did not want him to leave, I asked him to come home the next day and a half. But he wouldn't. So it's been almost a month, still not here. When I pull back he contacts me. But I'm kinda over all these games. I feel

Like I shouldn't have to be doing this while I have a 3 month old.

Is there a chance here, or do I really love on?And how?

Not enough info. Something happened for him to have left the first time?

What was the talk about that caused him to leave the second time?

Miss communication or cheating?

With out knowing why no way to know if he will come back.

The first time he left was bc I was at the beginning of my 7th month. Super hormonal. Lol. He literally does nothing around the house. He's a total gamer. I normally don't care, well within reason obviously. I had a hard pregnancy and that particular day I had to mow the lawn. It hadn't been cut in 3 or so months. So I was peeved. I went off! I'm not sure if I mentioned he always threatens to leave when he is mad, well that time I beat him to it. I believe he felt I was to hormonal at the time and thought after the baby was here that it would get better.

It did get better, but there are still some issues. He's still expecting me to do everything and doesn't seem to understand that I have a infant who loves to be held all the time. He was picking and choosing when he would come home, hanging out with friends until sometimes 8 or 9 o'clock and feels he doesn't have to ask permission. Lol.

So when I asked for him to think about that bc it wasn't working he got mad. Then here come the head games. So that went on for a few weeks. He blew up saying I'm not perfect, which he is absolutely correct, and said he was leaving. He left half of his stuff here and didn't leave the key. It pissed me off, so I gathered the rest and took it to him. I still have yet to get the key back.

He did come stay the night once, and says he loves me but it's just not working out.

His mother says he needs time and that he wants to work it out. But when I tell him that he says to not listen to her.

I hope that is better info.

There has been no cheating at all.

Double post:

https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=550137

What do you hope to accomplish with head games?

Does he work? Pay child support or contribute financially to the child and to the household? Do you work outside the home?

When the head games started, it was bc we were irritated with one another and then they started. I was just trying to be transparent with the post for any helpful advice.

I was working until the pregnancy. I still paid some bills but he had paid the majority. He is still paying them and I start working at the end of the month.

Im sorry, your situation cannot be easy. Im really not even sure what youre asking, seems to be venting, which is understandable, unfortunately, its incredibly unlikely to change, this is what happens when kids have kids. Statistically, this relationship isn't going to last, no foundation, the longer you stick around the more at risk you are to learn bad relationship habits, which will hurt you. Focus on healing and your baby is my advice.

I was hoping by for advice on what I could do to make it work out. I've read about the NC, and it seems to work bc when I pull back he reaches out. People close to the situation say that we are just learning the ropes. But from reading the comments on here maybe I do need to just move on.

Why do you want this guy back?

You need higher standards. He isn't a good catch. Do what you can to make sure your little one has a good relationship with Dad, but you need to move on. There are plenty of higher-quality men out there.

Someone who only comes around when you pull back isn't relationship material.

Why do I want him back? Isn't that what I should feel? We just had a child. We were together for 2 years. I feel that this relationship is able to be saved, we just have some communication issues.

Why all the “lol”? I certainly wouldn’t find that funny in your shoes.

He games too much, came home late on purpose, and did nothing to help around the house. Now he has walked out on his newborn. Seems you got a lot more than just communication issues. How do you figure you can fix this? Has to be his choice. Was this baby planned? What are your ages?

I am 37 and he is 27.

Why do I want him back? Isn't that what I should feel? We just had a child. We were together for 2 years. I feel that this relationship is able to be saved, we just have some communication issues.

Not when someone is so indifferent to you, no.

He doesn't love you. This isn't just a communication issue.