Is there hope for me getting my ex girlfriend back?

My girlfriend of 6 months broke up with me about a week ago. We had a great relationship and almost never fought or argued and we both cared about each other very much. The reason for breaking up she said was she did not know what her feelings were anymore and wasn't sure if she wanted to breakup or stay together. Before we broke up she said "Couples breakup and get back together all the time". I told her i respect her decision and we have no hard feelings. Ive realized my mistakes I made AFTER she broke up with me and I sent her a heartfelt apology about what i did wrong. It was nothing bad but there were definitely things I could have done better. She said i did not have to apologize and said it wasn't my fault, it was how she is feeling. She said she pushes people away that are close to her but doesn't want to and usually regrets it. I told her if the time comes my door will be open to her and I said I will remain hopeful but I cant let it stop me from living my life. She responded me saying "Im trying to get through it maybe I just need time" and also "We can both be hopeful just confused I guess and need time and space because if it was meant to be it was meant to be and if not we will move on". She texted me while she was drunk a few days ago and said "I still care about you I hope you know it hurts me just as much". She suffers with depression and still believe that she is just confused and will come around. Like I said im not gonna let the "hope" ruin or stop me from living my life.

Im just trying to see if this is false hope or not. I truly believe she is the type of girl to be completely honest with me and that is why I still have hope. I just believe if we tried one more time we could be even happier

She has issues, both with depression and other things as well. Normal, healthy people don't push relationships away just because.

Yes, it's a false hope because you weren't the problem and you can't fix her problems.

If she ever wants to be a good partner to someone and have a healthy relationship, she will have to put in a lot of work into herself in terms addressing her depression, addressing her attachment issues, etc. We are talking about a solid year or two of being single and completely immersed in intensive treatment. Until she does that kind of work on herself, you've got nothing with her but a toxic mess of make up and break up.

Btw, breaking up and making up again is soooo not normal and not what people do all the time. For most, once you break up, it's just over permanently. Again, sane people don't play these kinds of toxic games.

at 6 months you are still in the "getting to know you" stage. This isn't a match. Please move on

Thanks for the response. Maybe that is the hard truth I needed to realize. I just wanted to be the one to help her through all that because I care about her so much.

Thanks for the response. Maybe that is the hard truth I needed to realize. I just wanted to be the one to help her through all that because I care about her so much.

Do you want a girlfriend that's ready to be in a relationship and excited to do things with you, or do you want to be someone's counselor?

Thanks for the response. Maybe that is the hard truth I needed to realize. I just wanted to be the one to help her through all that because I care about her so much.

Unless you are mental health professional, then you can't help her and if you were, you couldn't be in a relationship with her. Quite frankly, being in a relationship is actually detrimental to healing. You wouldn't be helping her, you would be enabling her to continue to avoid dealing with her problems. Realize also, that dealing with a person like that is a lot like dealing with an alcoholic. They can't be helped until they decide they need the help and go get it and get serious about it. Realize also that this woman may never ever seek out any kind of help because she is actually perfectly content drifting from one relationship to the next as is convenient for her. Maybe some day she'll decide to be different, but don't hold your breath.

Seek out healthy partners who are in a good place mentally and emotionally to be in a relationship today. Don't look for fixer uppers. You can fix a house, but you can't fix people.

You handled it well, you want to keep it that way. If you walk away now, without hanging around, you'll have a better chance of her reconsidering and giving you and her some thought. Sometimes that person just needs to work on themselves to actually be in a place to have a full relationship, or they need a bit of time apart to consider how attracted to you they are, and how much your relationship means. Creating that instant void of your presence is a good thing. Trust me though, walk on those good terms right now and don't turn back. I wish I walked away immediately after in my situation, but I lingered a month or so, and I think it made her firmer about the decision and didn't help to see me in a better light.

Be true to your words and continue to live your life. That looks good on a guy. Don't think that you need to 'do' something to spark something in her. There is nothing you can do, and nothing to do. Simply doing your own thing and holding your head high is your absolute best chance to reconcile. I'd like to believe these sorts of things happen for reasons, so it could very well be that someone else could come knocking on your door too, something more fulfilling. Hard to imagine right now but a girl's feelings is a current you can't fight against. Go with it and things will work out in the way they're meant to faster than if you fight it.

Those feelings in that person are always susceptible to change, whether it be in a week, a month, or a year. But don't hang to tightly to hope. It'll hold you back in your own life. Just progress and take care of yourself.

Thanks for the response. I know she cares about me but she just doesn't know about her feelings right now and i respected that and we are on good terms. Ive read articles that said I should completely ignore her. Im not sure if thats the best decision in my case because I know she has feelings for me but just doesn't know if the relationship right now. Would it be a good idea for me to not initiate contact ,but if she contacts me is it ok for me to reply but keep the conversations short? And later down the road maybe start texting more?

I am not in any way begging to her to take me back and regretted doing that in the first place so do you think ignoring her is the best option? Because in my opinion, ignoring her would only push her away further.

Like you said I am holding on to the hope but not too tight. I'm not gonna let it bring me down and when we do talk again I will show her that I am happy.

You handled it well, you want to keep it that way. If you walk away now, without hanging around, you'll have a better chance of her reconsidering and giving you and her some thought. Sometimes that person just needs to work on themselves to actually be in a place to have a full relationship, or they need a bit of time apart to consider how attracted to you they are, and how much your relationship means. Creating that instant void of your presence is a good thing. Trust me though, walk on those good terms right now and don't turn back. I wish I walked away immediately after in my situation, but I lingered a month or so, and I think it made her firmer about the decision and didn't help to see me in a better light.

 

Be true to your words and continue to live your life. That looks good on a guy. Don't think that you need to 'do' something to spark something in her. There is nothing you can do, and nothing to do. Simply doing your own thing and holding your head high is your absolute best chance to reconcile. I'd like to believe these sorts of things happen for reasons, so it could very well be that someone else could come knocking on your door too, something more fulfilling. Hard to imagine right now but a girl's feelings is a current you can't fight against. Go with it and things will work out in the way they're meant to faster than if you fight it.

 

Those feelings in that person are always susceptible to change, whether it be in a week, a month, or a year. But don't hang to tightly to hope. It'll hold you back in your own life. Just progress and take care of yourself.

Thanks for the response. I know she cares about me but she just doesn't know about her feelings right now and i respected that and we are on good terms. Ive read articles that said I should completely ignore her. Im not sure if thats the best decision in my case because I know she has feelings for me but just doesn't know if the relationship right now. Would it be a good idea for me to not initiate contact ,but if she contacts me is it ok for me to reply but keep the conversations short? And later down the road maybe start texting more?

I am not in any way begging to her to take me back and regretted doing that in the first place so do you think ignoring her is the best option? Because in my opinion, ignoring her would only push her away further.

Like you said I am holding on to the hope but not too tight. I'm not gonna let it bring me down and when we do talk again I will show her that I am happy.

Thanks for the response. I know she cares about me but she just doesn't know about her feelings right now

I don't think that is true -- she might very well care for you, but trust me - she probably does know what her feelings are and she wants to break up "i am confused about how i feel about you" or "i don't know how i feel anymore" can often mean that they don't want to be in a relationship with you but don't want to tell you that --- it hurts you less to hear that there is confusion rather than its a confident.

I am not in any way begging to her to take me back and regretted doing that in the first place so do you think ignoring her is the best option? Because in my opinion, ignoring her would only push her away further.

If you have broken up, then its time to no longer contact her. Don't intiate any contact at all. And don't respond to meaningless texts. If she broke up with you, how "Farther away" can you possibly push her? I know you don't accept the breakup, but you need to

Sorry this happened. It's very fresh. What were "your mistakes"?. Despite her talent for breakup/friendzone platitudes, live your life, as you mentioned. It seems you think over saturating her will keep you on the radar? It could backfire and make you less attractive by grovelling, buzzing around, etc.

Before we broke up she said "Couples breakup and get back together all the time".

She responded me saying "Im trying to get through it maybe I just need time" and also "We can both be hopeful just confused I guess and need time and space because if it was meant to be it was meant to be and if not we will move on".

Sorry this happened. It's very fresh. What were "your mistakes"?. Despite her talent for breakup/friendzone platitudes, live your life, as you mentioned. It seems you think over saturating her will keep you on the radar? It could backfire and make you less attractive by grovelling, buzzing around, etc.

Shes 21 and im 19. We both used to work together and share the same friends through work. Since im only 19 I cant go out drinking with them and sometimes i made her feel bad for going out with them if i wanted to see her. I was selfish really often and now after the breakup I realized if i could go back i would.Im not initiating any convorsations anymore with her but if she texts me im keeping the convorsation short and sweet. I guess one good sign maybe would be that today she texted me that she has my W2 when she could have just given it to her co worker who also works at the new job im working now. Im done trying to beg and plead cause i regret that and think that pushed her further away