Boyfriend Moving In -- How Would You Inform Your Landlord?

I moved into my place last April. It's an awesome apartment and I signed a 2 year lease locking in the current rent. My landlord had headaches with the previous tenant, and ended up evicting them. They wanted someone who would move in, not cause any issues, and pay their rent on time. I can safely say they've found that with me.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years now. We discussed moving in together when his lease was up, but since he had almost a year left I didn't discuss it with my landlord when signing the lease. Fast forward to now, and his roommate needs a couple of extra months but they will be done with their apartment by the end of March or April. We are solid and planning to move in (we live in the same neighborhood and he spends most nights at my place already).

The issue that has come up is when I looked into this online is, if I request to add him to the lease I've read that landlord may opt to write up a new lease listing both of us and increase the rent. My questions are, how common is this? And what are your experiences with having a SO move in your apartment? Did you tell your landlord beforehand, or just not mention it? Is it possible to have him listed as a tenant but not add him to the lease so my current lease stays in effect?

I have lived here for under a year and the legal rent to the place is pretty high, so I'd rather not have to deal with rent increases already.

TL;DR - Boyfriend planning to move in this Spring. Didn't realize it can have legal implications for the lease. What's the best approach for informing the landlord there will be an additional resident in the unit?

I think that you have to inform the landlord that you have someone new moving in with you. IIRC, in the lease that you sign, there is a stipulation where the landlord has to be informed if someone is staying with you for more that XXX number of days. Not sure.

I think that the best way to do it would be to send the landlord an email or a letter stating that you have someone moving in with you, but that since you have an impeccable rental history with them, you are asking that the rent not be increased.

What does your lease say? It should all be in there including whether or not there will a rent increase should a second person be added to the lease.

Where I live (nice area in southern california) the rent is the rent, doesn't matter if a second person moved in. I suppose if like five people were to move in, it might, but again it should all be spelled out in the lease.

Two people (a couple) sharing one apartment is so common, I doubt it would make a difference in the rent, but read the lease and advise your landlord, preferably verbally so you can get an immediate response and not have to wait.

That's what I would do anyway... and good luck with your boyfriend! Exciting!

I think that the best way to do it would be to send the landlord an email or a letter stating that you have someone moving in with you, but that since you have an impeccable rental history with them, you are asking that the rent not be increased.

Thanks. This is good advice. I plan to email him, since that's his preferred method of correspondence, about 2-3 months ahead.

I've done more Internet research and found that where I live it's illegal for landlord to prevent partners from moving in, which is a relief. But how I handle this is important because I don't want to screw up the goodwill between us.

This is the information I've found on the roommate law in my state:

Do I have the right to have a roommate?

If you live in a privately owned building, and

If you are the only person who signed your lease (for rent control: if you are the only tenant of record),

Then you have the right to share your apartment with one other adult not related to you, and that person’s dependent children.

I think it shouldn't be a problem. Nice of you to give him a few month's notice. I would also offer a meeting between you two, and ask if he would like to perform a background check or if he'd like to meet with your boyfriend personally.

Instead of Internet research, I would suggest you read the lease.

I think it shouldn't be a problem. Nice of you to give him a few month's notice. I would also offer a meeting between you two, and ask if he would like to perform a background check or if he'd like to meet with your boyfriend personally.

Or maybe a credit check...since he will most likely be added to the lease. Credit checks are pretty standard.

What state do you live in?

Question: you mentioned about listing your boyfriend as a tenant but don't want your rent to go up? Shouldn't he be expected to pay the rent even though it will increase?

Anytime there is a change, you are required to report it to your landlord. You are renting their property and they need to know what goes on their property or they could be sued for liability. With people moving in, they need to know it. What happens if there is a tenant hiding a criminal (or worse, a drug dealer) in an apartment and cops arrest him? The law will come after the landlord for liability. That's why landlords need to know who is living on their property.

I was good friends with a neighbor in my apartment and a month after he signed the lease, he moved his mother and her boyfriend in (they had lost their home/job). This was a one bedroom apartment that had a two person occupancy. My apartment complex also had a wait list for new tenants. Guess what the landlord did? Cancelled his contract and gave him a 30 day notice to move out.

I think it shouldn't be a problem. Nice of you to give him a few month's notice. I would also offer a meeting between you two, and ask if he would like to perform a background check or if he'd like to meet with your boyfriend personally.

Thanks. Offering to set up a meeting between them and asking if he wants a background check (or some other documentation) are good ideas. I will discuss these suggestions with my boyfriend.

Instead of Internet research, I would suggest you read the lease.

I'm visiting relatives and won't be back until Monday. Until then, this is not an option.

That's what I would do anyway... and good luck with your boyfriend! Exciting!

Thanks for the well wishes. Looking forward from it going from my place to officially "our" place.

Snny makes a good point.... even if the rent does increase slightly, since I presume you and you boyfriend will be splitting the rent, you'll still come out ahead...way ahead, right?

Only anecdotally, the times when I have added a tenant to a locked lease the rent was not increased. They may have a legal right to do so, but considering how difficult it can be for private landlords to find good tenants, I think it's often an act of good will to choose to not exercise that choice.

They always appreciate plenty of notice and a face to face meeting, in my experience. A chance to meet the person, and for everyone to ask whatever questions they may have and go over the lease.

good luck. Exciting about your home becoming a place for two.

Question: you mentioned about listing your boyfriend as a tenant but don't want your rent to go up? Shouldn't he be expected to pay the rent even though it will increase?

 

Anytime there is a change, you are required to report it to your landlord. You are renting their property and they need to know what goes on their property or they could be sued for liability. With people moving in, they need to know it. What happens if there is a tenant hiding a criminal (or worse, a drug dealer) in an apartment and cops arrest him? The law will come after the landlord for liability. That's why landlords need to know who is living on their property.

Right. I wouldn't feel right moving him in under the radar. Besides, he's going to be moving furniture in which will be pretty obvious. Its not a large anonymous building. It's privately owned and living on the first floor I think most people recognize who's there a lot and who isn't.

We're going to split the rent when he moves in. Yeah, I don't want the rent to go up. I signed a 2 year lease and got a fantastic deal with it. I live in New York State and every time you renew a lease you get hit with increases, so I hate the idea of accelerating that cycle (a past place I lived increased the rent by $125 in the renewal).

I was good friends with a neighbor in my apartment and a month after he signed the lease, he moved his mother and her boyfriend in (they had lost their home/job). This was a one bedroom apartment that had a two person occupancy. My apartment complex also had a wait list for new tenants. Guess what the landlord did? Cancelled his contract and gave him a 30 day notice to move out.

Yikes! I don't blame the landlord because he knew there was a two person occupancy clause in the lease.

In my situation, won't be violating the occupancy and it looks like adding an non-relate occupant is legal without amending the lease. Of course, I will check the lease and discuss it further with my SO before approaching the landlord. All things considered, I'd rather not change the lease and have add him as a co-tenant when it's time to renew.

Only anecdotally, the times when I have added a tenant to a locked lease the rent was not increased. They may have a legal right to do so, but considering how difficult it can be for private landlords to find good tenants, I think it's often an act of good will to choose to not exercise that choice.

They always appreciate plenty of notice and a face to face meeting, in my experience. A chance to meet the person, and for everyone to ask whatever questions they may have and go over the lease.

 

good luck. Exciting about your home becoming a place for two.

 

Thank you! These are greats points. Having bad tenants who damage the property and/or do not pay rent is a bigger concern than a reliable paying tenant adding an occupant.

 

Sounds like doing a face to face regardless of adding him officially to the lease is the way to go. FWIW, the super knows my boyfriend is my boyfriend and will probably vouch that he hasn't caused any issues in the time he's been a "consistent visitor" so far. (Honestly, he gets along better with my super than I do!)

 

Thanks for the well wishes. Transforming the place will be fun.

Yeah, I don't want the rent to go up. I signed a 2 year lease and got a fantastic deal with it.

Ok, if he lives near the same neighborhood how long is his lease and why not have him renew his?

I would also be very careful of having him over on a regular basis. Landlords DO NOT like that, especially if it's one who will increase rent. They are losing business and in a way, you would violate the contract. That's the kind of crap that will get you evicted. On my former lease it explicitly stated that I could not have visitors stay past 14 days or they were considered tenants. You may want to check that in your lease before you get in trouble.

Also if he is staying at your place regularly, then he is a freeloader. He is using your utilities, space to crash, and groceries as you are paying for it all. He either needs to move in and start paying his share of the bills like an adult (and you get over the rent increase) or you need to limit overnight visitation. Basically you are playing house.

Your boyfriend needs to be added to the rental contract if he is living in your unit. The rent may be increased, however, you can be evicted if you fail to report that there is another occupant in the unit. Examine your rental contract and follow it to the letter. chi

Why are you assuming that he is freeloading or using the OP? We don't know what their agreement is, but we do know she is happy with the state of the relationship. Most people I know in relationships end up staying over together most nights.

OP, I think you are right that since you are essentially signing a new lease with him on it the landlord may try to increase the rent (and it sounds legal to me, though I'm no expert). But since you have been a good tenant and he's had problems in the past, maybe you can negotiate keeping the same rent or just a token increase?

If your lease makes no mention of prohibiting others from moving in, or you're not over the limit of the number of people specified by the lease, the landlord probably won't care.

And i would definitely NOT try to add him to the lease for a lot of reasons. Maybe things will go great with the BF moving in, maybe not. And it is easier to get him out if only you are on the lease because he has no legal rights to be on the property.

I personally advise against any kind of joint finances/property scenarios with anyone who hasn't made a commitment to marry you (engagement with a wedding date planned) because it is actually harder to disentangle yourself financially/legally when sharing property when you are not married than when you are married (i.e., you'd have to force a partition lawsuit to separate assets rather than just filing a separation agreement or asking the judge to rule how things get divided in a separation from a husband).

So don't rush to commingle your finances or for things like shared leases unless you do have a permanent commitment from him that offers legal protections like marriage. People have the mistaken impressions that it is easier to separate shared joint finances/obligations/property when single than when married, when actually it is the reverse because divorce law offers ample guidelines/avenues to separate your lives should it become necessary whereas when not married it get way more complicated.

^ but in order to move him in, doesn't he need to be on the lease? That's my understanding. At least where I am, if you're living in an apartment with someone and you're 18+, you need to be on the lease. If she tells her landlord, he may insist that he be put on the lease.

^^

Depends on the lease... she should read her lease.

Ok, if he lives near the same neighborhood how long is his lease and why not have him renew his?

We want to live together and not at his current place. He went apartment hunting with me last March and finding a place we could live together was taken in consideration. (For example, it's got multiple bedrooms so there's room for an office/art studio and guest room. We may reconfigure the rooms once he's moved in to make the guest room the studio space instead.)

I would also be very careful of having him over on a regular basis. Landlords DO NOT like that, especially if it's one who will increase rent. They are losing business and in a way, you would violate the contract. That's the kind of crap that will get you evicted. On my former lease it explicitly stated that I could not have visitors stay past 14 days or they were considered tenants. You may want to check that in your lease before you get in trouble.

This isn't an issue. He's been over all the time since I moved in. Officially moving in includes changing legal address and mailing address, so it's something I'd want sorted out properly. In my state, link removed.

I am trying to figure out the best approach for broaching this, because although the law is on my side but I don't want to tick my landlord off. They could do a crazy rental increase in retaliation because the legal rent differs by a large margin from the preferential rent.

Your boyfriend needs to be added to the rental contract if he is living in your unit. The rent may be increased, however, you can be evicted if you fail to report that there is another occupant in the unit. Examine your rental contract and follow it to the letter. chi

Thanks. I will definitely report before he intends to move in. I am hoping he can be an occupant, but will need to check the lease tomorrow when I am back home.

If your lease makes no mention of prohibiting others from moving in, or you're not over the limit of the number of people specified by the lease, the landlord probably won't care.

 

And i would definitely NOT try to add him to the lease for a lot of reasons. Maybe things will go great with the BF moving in, maybe not. And it is easier to get him out if only you are on the lease because he has no legal rights to be on the property.

 

I personally advise against any kind of joint finances/property scenarios with anyone who hasn't made a commitment to marry you (engagement with a wedding date planned) because it is actually harder to disentangle yourself financially/legally when sharing property when you are not married than when you are married (i.e., you'd have to force a partition lawsuit to separate assets rather than just filing a separation agreement or asking the judge to rule how things get divided in a separation from a husband).

 

So don't rush to commingle your finances or for things like shared leases unless you do have a permanent commitment from him that offers legal protections like marriage. People have the mistaken impressions that it is easier to separate shared joint finances/obligations/property when single than when married, when actually it is the reverse because divorce law offers ample guidelines/avenues to separate your lives should it become necessary whereas when not married it get way more complicated.

Thanks for this post! Yes, ideally I'd prefer to keep the lease as is and inform the landlord there's an additional occupant. When renewal time comes up in 2016 we can list as co-tenants.

I agree about not commingling finances before marriage, as does my SO. He proposes splitting everything down the middle. I brought up opening a joint account for us to put money for household expenses and he shot it down, not seeing the point if we're going 50/50.

Why are you assuming that he is freeloading or using the OP? We don't know what their agreement is, but we do know she is happy with the state of the relationship. Most people I know in relationships end up staying over together most nights.

Thanks. Indeed, things are good. He isn't a freeloader. He currently has a lease with a roommate. Paying for rent and utilities at two places is not feasible. We like spending time together, and sure,we could try splitting time equally between both residences, but I like my place and there is more privacy at my place.

When he officially moves in he will be paying his share of bills and rent. He already splits groceries and such as he spends most of his time at my place.

I think it's gonna wind up being in the landlord's court. I think they probably will have the right to increase your rent, but probably won't if you're a good tenant. Don't be surprised though if it gets bumped up a bit next time you renew your lease though. And obviously you should report the new tenant, that will be grounds to terminate if you don't.

Why are you assuming that he is freeloading or using the OP? We don't know what their agreement is, but we do know she is happy with the state of the relationship. Most people I know in relationships end up staying over together most nights.

The OP just said in her first post that he is over at her place most of the time.

Is he doing his laundry over there? Is he watching TV most of the time with her? Is he eating the majority of her groceries? Is he is sleeping over there 5 times a week? Is his using your shower mostly? Then he is technically living over her apartment for free and she is paying for all of the utilities they use together. If he was visiting a couple times or wasn't staying over frequently, fine. I lived with a roommate in a college apartment who had a HUGE problem with a guy I was dating staying over a lot. She told me that she wasn't going to give me any money toward utilities because he was over most of the time and he was using our utilities- she offered to pay when I started limiting his visitation. I didn't even think about it until she had brought it up and it was a hard lesson.

Thanks. Indeed, things are good. He isn't a freeloader. He currently has a lease with a roommate. Paying for rent and utilities at two places is not feasible.

Then he should be limiting his visits. He is overstaying your welcome IMO.

And i would definitely NOT try to add him to the lease for a lot of reasons. Maybe things will go great with the BF moving in, maybe not. And it is easier to get him out if only you are on the lease because he has no legal rights to be on the property.

 

I personally advise against any kind of joint finances/property scenarios with anyone who hasn't made a commitment to marry you (engagement with a wedding date planned) because it is actually harder to disentangle yourself financially/legally when sharing property when you are not married than when you are married (i.e., you'd have to force a partition lawsuit to separate assets rather than just filing a separation agreement or asking the judge to rule how things get divided in a separation from a husband).

 

So don't rush to commingle your finances or for things like shared leases unless you do have a permanent commitment from him that offers legal protections like marriage. People have the mistaken impressions that it is easier to separate shared joint finances/obligations/property when single than when married, when actually it is the reverse because divorce law offers ample guidelines/avenues to separate your lives should it become necessary whereas when not married it get way more complicated.

This is actually a valid point. If the relationship doesn't work... it becomes harder to move out if both people are on the lease. But she still needs to tell the landlord who is staying on the property and perhaps not put him on the lease.

This is what I was thinking. I wouldn't add a bf to my lease...if you break up, it complicates things way more. If there's no lease and you break up, he's out. Simple.

I wouldn't tell the landlord either. Landlords don't care what you do as long as you're not causing additional damage to the property (like getting a pet- or letting all 12 of your family members move into your one bedroom flat) and you're paying your rent (and bills) on time.

Keep paying your rent on time. Be a good tenant. You'll be fine. Landlords don't want tenants moving a lot- moving puts dings in walls and adds more wear and tear to a place. The ideal tenant is the one that pays rent on time, stays for extended periods...and doesn't call with their drama.