Women Surviving Auschwitz

Excerpted from
Love Carried Me Home; Women Surviving Auschwitz
By Joy Erlichman Miller, Ph.D

How Mady D. Coped

Affiliation with her mother and believing that she would be reunited with her family played a large part in Mady's ability to cope emotionally with her early Holocaust experiences. Mady's mother, always protective of her daughter and extremely intuitive, was very supportive of and caring toward her daughter. Mady's mother was a driving force in Mady's coping and adaptation, constantly pushing her to try harder, to think of the eventual reunion with loved ones, to stay healthy and emotionally strong. Mother also sustained daughter by cautiously rationing her food supply, as well as adding to the quantity by giving portions of her own food to her young daughter without Mady knowing about it.

Mady put her emotion-focused coping skills to good use in counseling her mother after they learned of the death of their father/husband and brother/son. Mady remembered when her mother wanted to commit suicide because she felt she had no reason to live: "I had just turned fifteen. I was so young. I wanted to go on and see if there is something beautiful in this world ... if there are some good things in people ... if there are some good things in this world where people lived ... not just suffering and ugliness that we have seen. I just wanted to go on and see some goodness and beauty. And she told me that if I wanted to go on living, her duty as a mother was to go on to help me survive and go on."

The hope and belief that one day they would be reunited with their family in Czechoslovakia gave Mady and her mother a purpose and a will to survive despite the atrocities of Auschwitz and the work camp. Mady remarked, "What kept us alive all this time was thinking about and dreaming about them and hoping that we will meet again, that they'll survive as well. And then we'll be one happy family again. And this is what my mother kept me alive with."

Mady mentioned no problem-focused coping strategies. It was obvious in her testimony that the ability to manipulate the environment was restricted and that the methodology to live from one day to another focused on helping each other and believing that tomorrow would bring an end to their trauma.

Phone Interview With Mady D.

Mady was very insistent that she had no technique for coping or surviving, that there was no technique or active strategy that anyone could use to enhance their chances of survival. Much of what occurred was due basically to luck. The human drive to live was the determining force in her survival, and Mady stated that it was her mother and others who protected her during times of adversity: "We were still human beings ... we still tried to help each other. . . survive the atrocities of the concentration camp and working labor camps. We just tried to hold on to each other as much as we could." At any time, Mady stated, she could choose suicide and throw herself against electrified wire fencing, but she maintained her hope. Her mother's will and her constant encouragement drove Mady each day to continue to live with the hope of being reunited with her family.

Despite the humiliation, the atrocities and the horrors, Mady very badly wanted to live. She believed she used fantasy as a powerful tool to escape from the reality of the atrocities. In her fantasies and dreams, she imagined she would return to her homeland and to a normal life with her family after the war.

Through the Eyes of Mady D.

I go from school to school and from organization to organization and from church to church and talk to all the groups. When someone is being persecuted for whatever reason (I tell them) to help and to speak up ... to remember the past and hope to make a better life for the future. Mankind must learn to live together in peace, and harmony and respect each other. ... It is important that we as survivors "tell them about the Holocaust, our experiences, and tell them (schoolchildren) to read about the past and learn about it, and try in their lifetimes (to) stop things like this from happening. And it is up to the young people . . . today's generation can prevent something like this from happening again . . . (they must) be aware and watchful and care about people. And when somebody is being persecuted for whatever reason to help, and speak up, and remember the past and make a better life for the future.