Learning to Live Independent of Frustrations and Struggles

Excerpted from
If Not for the Grace of God: Learning to Live Independent of Frustrations and Struggles
By Joyce Meyer

Do you have strife, discord, feuds, conflicts and wars going on within your own self? There was a time when my life was literally filled with strife.

How does all this disturbance get started within us? We know that it is not God's will for us. The Lord does not want His children to live in the midst of a constant interior war zone. That is the nature of this world in which we live, but it is not supposed to be the nature of the Kingdom of God - and Jesus has told us that the Kingdom is within us. (Luke 17:21.)

One reason you and I came to Christ in the first place is because we wanted to escape all that kind of endless strife and conflict. That is why we became citizens of the Kingdom of God. The Bible tells us that the Kingdom is righteousness, peace and joy. (Rom. 14:17 KJV.) As followers of Jesus Christ, that is our heritage and our inheritance. Why is it, then, that so many of us who truly love God, who are going to heaven, who are the called according to His divine purpose, still spend our whole earthly existence in the midst of what we are trying so desperately to escape from?

What is the source of all this strife? Where does it originate? That is the question that we want to answer in order to discover the solution to our frustration and misery.

But notice the second part of this verse. James tells us that all these negative things arise from the sensual desires that are ever warring in our members.

Do you know that you and I can get into conflict by wanting something that is clearly God's will for us? Having God's will in our lives can frustrate us. If we go about trying to get it in the wrong way, we will only produce strife and war and conflict.

God wants our spouse and our children to be saved. We know that is His will because He has said in His Word that He desires that all people come to a saving knowledge of Him. (2 Pet. 3:9.) Yet you and I can get frustrated - and cause all kinds of misery for ourselves and others - if we go about trying to get our loved ones saved by our own human efforts.

As strange as it may sound, it is entirely possible to get into war over the Word of God. It happens all the time within the Body of Christ.

It is certainly God's will for us to live holy lives, but I can't tell you how much conflict I caused in my life trying to be holy. I wanted all the right things, but I went about getting them in all the wrong ways. That is what James is warning us about here in this verse. He is saying that strife and conflict arise within us because our desires - even possibly our righteous desires - are warring in our bodily members.

We Have Not Because We Ask Not

You are jealous and covet (what others have) and your desires go unfulfilled; [so] you become murderers. [To hate is to murder as far as your hearts are concerned.] You burn with envy and anger and are not able to obtain [the gratification, the contentment, and the happiness that you seek], so you fight and war. You do not have, because you do not ask. - James 4:2

People in church get into wars over prophetic gifts and musical gifts. They become jealous of each other because one sings and another doesn't. They hate one another simply because they do not have something the other person has. Jealousy and envy are not love. God refers to them as hatred.

The Bible gets pretty strenuous about this point. It says that to hate others because of their special gifts is to become a murderer in the heart.

Are you and I guilty of murder in our hearts? Do we burn with envy and anger because we are not able to obtain the gratification, the contentment and the happiness we seek? Do we get frustrated because we cannot obtain even the good things that we so desire?

That is what was happening to me at one time in my life. I was trying to make myself happy. I saw all those good things that I knew I needed, and I was trying to make them happen by my own efforts. No one has any idea how many years I frustrated myself unbearably trying to make my ministry come to pass. It was certainly God's will for me. He had called me to it and had anointed me for it. Yet it was not happening, no matter how much I tried.

It is interesting that God will call a person to do something, and then not allow him to do it for a while. And he will never be able to do it, until he stops trying to do it on his own and starts allowing the Lord to bring it to pass in His own way and in His own time. God's ways are perfect! If you are frustrated about timing, learn to pray with the psalmist, My times are in Your hands... (Ps. 31:15).

I know about these things, because they were exactly what happened to me. I was frustrated and envious and angry and unable to obtain the gratification, contentment and happiness I sought - until the Lord showed me the last sentence in verse 2 of James 4: ...You do not have, because you do not ask.

When I really saw and understood this sentence for the first time, it jarred my entire theology. It was an important part of the revelation of grace that the Lord gave me that eventually changed my whole life and ministry.

The Lord convicted me of various things in my life. Some of them you may relate to in your own Christian walk. Let me give you an example.

One day I woke up with a throbbing headache. I thought maybe I was catching a cold. I walked around with that miserable headache almost all day, telling everybody I met about how terrible I felt - until finally the Lord spoke to me and said, "Did it ever occur to you to ask Me to heal you?" I believed in Jesus as my healer, but I spent the day complaining and never once asked.