What are your deal-breakers in a relationship?

When it comes to relationships, some of us are willing to take the good and ignore the bad, often because we don't want to be alone. We believe in the fantasy of a fairytale ending. We think that if we just ignore all the signs our instincts are sending us, the tumbling tower will suddenly stand straight and tall. We convince ourselves that, this time, it’ll work out.

But when do we draw the line? When do we decide that enough is enough, that it’s time to throw in the metaphorical towel and end things? Because nobody should ever commit to something that they know deep down isn’t right.

Time and time again, we’ve seen heartbreak, tears and turmoil because one or both partners decided to stay in a relationship after better judgement told them to walk away. When all’s said and done, we all have certain requirements we follow in order to have a healthy relationship. These, for lack of a better phrase, are your ‘deal-breakers.’

Your deal breakers are the unspoken rules that you won’t bend or budge on. But although they’re unspoken, they’re often extremely loud and should never be ignored.

You may argue that deal breakers shouldn't exist in the first place. After all, why can't you try and make things work? That's all great, but sometimes people get too comfortable with their partners and become obviously blind to the things that are further ruining the relationship.

There really isn’t a ‘one size fits all’ when it comes to deal breakers. They differ from person to person, reflecting the qualities someone’s looking for in an equal and fulfilled relationship. Whether your deal breaker is a person not being supportive, disloyalty, a lack of communication; the list and variety are endless.

So what could constitute a deal-breaker in a relationship? Here are a few examples to consider…

One of the biggest ‘no go’ areas when it comes to relationships has to be trust. If you’re feeling unwelcome due to a partner’s behavior―whether it’s snooping around for answers or showing lack of loyalty―consider it a huge red flag. Being able to trust your partner is a key ingredient in a nourishing and satisfying relationship.

No matter how great of a relationship you have, everyone needs personal space now and then. Stifling someone is never a good idea! When it comes to respecting boundaries, the golden rule is quite simple: step back and allow your partner to breathe.

Anxiety might not be a deal breaker per se, but it can dramatically affect a relationship if it's not dealt with properly. If left untreated or unresolved, it's likely to cause distress to both you and your significant other. It’s important that everyone takes responsibility to make sure both of your mental health needs are being addressed.

Honesty is also a non-negotiable factor. It’s not only about being open and transparent, but also having respect for the truth. Even when everything’s going well, some people still feel the need to lie. But this type of dishonesty mostly ruins trust and therefore the relationship.

No one should ever accept anything less than true love; it’s the foundation of any relationship. Love isn’t about possessiveness and control, but instead it’s about respect, freedom and independence. A lack of love can lead to a lack of faith, trust and goodwill―which ultimately causes relationships to fail.

Even if your current relationship is great, there are certain things that you should never accept. We are all entitled to seek the relationships that make us happy and to leave those that fill us with sadness and heartache. And that’s ok, even if it feels uncomfortable at times.

So while entering into a new relationship, bear in mind that there might be a few no-go zones you’ll have to abide by. Listen to your gut―it knows best. You deserve to be happy and loved, so don’t settle for anything that makes you second guess yourself. Choose the one who loves you fully and puts your needs first.

It’s ok to draw the line, set your boundaries and acknowledge what simply won’t work for you. After all, you know what’s best for your own happiness.