Holding onto a relationship is a delicate balancing act. On one hand, you want to honor your commitment to your partner, stick by their side, and strive to overcome any obstacles within the relationship. On the other hand, you also have to be mindful of your needs, wants, as well as the needs and wants of your partner, without sacrificing yourself in the process of honoring your commitment. For some, this can be an extremely difficult task, even more so if your relationship has been plagued with roadblocks from the start.
For example, let's imagine a couple whose relationship has been wrought with issues since the very beginning. Resentment has been brewing and communication has dwindled due to the excessive fighting. But despite all the negativity, they both still care deeply for each other and really want to find a resolution. Still, they find themselves stuck in an endless loop between resounding love and bitter anger.
When your heart is telling you to move further away, yet your mind is telling you to stay, it can be a difficult decision on which path is best to take. You are emotionally invested, so it is hard to see past your own judgement and stand clear of biased opinions and inner turmoil. You want to hold onto the commitment you made when things were still good, but this doesn't mean you should throw your own personal boundaries and needs out the window.
It all comes down to you. It is your job to break this loop and make peace with yourself and your partner. Though it can be a daunting task to handle such a tough situation, there are ways to gain clarity on what needs to happen in order for the mending to be successful.
First and foremost, try your best to open up about your feelings and have an honest conversation with your partner. A lot of unfounded resentment can come about simply from a lack of communication. Talking about both of your feelings, needs and expectations will definitely help the process become much more clear.
Also, try reflecting on where the issues are coming from in the first place. Is it something that can change within the relationship? Or is it something stemming from past emotions and experiences prior to the relationship? People often carry baggage from past relationships into new ones, and if that’s the case here, then it can be helpful to guide your partner through processing and healing old wounds.
Finally, assess whether or not you two still believe in and want to see the relationship through. Make sure that neither of you are giving up on the other person because of impassioned emotion, but instead are making the decision due to a lack of conviction in either of you two knowing the value of it anymore.
Love is a tricky game, and we all must dig deep within ourselves to try and make sense of the conundrum it can be. While it’s hard to accept some of life’s more difficult decisions, remember that every situation and obstacle can help shape you for the better and give you the necessary guidance you need to make successful choices moving forward.
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